- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
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- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I think it’s hard to “accept” the thoughts because (for me, personally) that makes it feel like you’re accepting being a predator. That’s something that has made me very s**cidal in the past. I understand how you feel, in fact I struggle with this on a daily basis, even today so much so that I will hit myself to distract myself from a disturbing thought. (I don’t recommend that tbh, it’s probably not healthy) When I have a better wrap on my mental health and a thought like that crosses my mind I do not even think about it at all. I treat my mind like an etch a sketch and shake it away as soon as it pops in. When you invest in the thought it feels more real, and more deliberate. When I am not doing as well mental health wise I struggle to not feel upset, and if I do feel upset of course my first instinct is to immediately stop that, I’ll repeat certain words, talk out loud randomly to drown or distract the thought, sometimes hit myself or pinch myself. It’s a horrible thing to experience because it really feels demoralizing but just remember those thoughts ARENT you. If they were you wouldn’t be turned inside out about them, this is a real subcategory of OCD, you aren’t making it up. My best advice as someone who’s been normally functioning with this and also deeply s**cidal about it is if you can help it do that think even a second further about the thought. It enters your mind and you etch a sketch dissolve it right away and promptly do something afterwards that makes you feel like you. Listen to your favourite song, text a friend, make your favourite snack etc. You got this ❤️
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you ? I have a question. What are your thoughts on “uncertainty” for POCD? It quite honestly scares me and makes me feel worst
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@? Do you mean uncertainty of whether or not you will act on thoughts or whether or not the thoughts are a true representation of yourself
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Harper I think both
- Username
- FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I know it’s awful, I have the worst accusatory voice in my head any time I’m anywhere near a child or look at one and I start questioning why I looked at them. So I try to act like they don’t exist and I feel like that makes it worse, it feels like I’m trying to be in denial. It doesn’t even make any sense. I’ve never harmed a kid, wouldn’t get anything out of it and really I KNOW I’m never going to. It’s the loop of questioning myself and my memories and the stigma which is really causing the trouble in my mind I think. And it’s disgusting because I feel like I have to think about it vividly so I can check that I definitely still don’t like it, or watch documentaries or Hanson vs predator just to try to “check” and make sure, but it just makes the stigma part feel worse which makes it all worse. I’ve had it about other intrusive sexual stuff I shouldn’t have which makes me spiral the same way. Idk if I have much advice to give other than resisting the thinking about it and ‘checking’. I have other OCDs and once I move onto one of them, the sexual ones seem unimportant and unrealistic. So that’s the gauge I try to go by. Remember how you felt in the times when you have felt/known that it’s not true and is kinda cray.
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Wow I seriously needed this. We’ve both gone through very similar through-processes and feelings! Thank you for responding
- Username
- seemeinacrownseemeinacrown
- Date posted
- 4y ago
This experience sounds very familiar, and also the checking methods similer too
- Username
- FathomableFathomable
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@seemeinacrown Yeah I think people shy away from talking about their checking methods because it feels so dirty and shameful and makes you question yourself even more like why the hell would I imagine that or want to see or hear about any of that and feeling like you would be judged or misunderstood. Even if you know it’s because you have the need to check, because then a bit of you is still constantly like “is that really why though?”. It’s this horrible loop of torture-shame :(
- Username
- Ginger77Ginger77
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Accepting the uncertainty is the only way to get better.
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
But what exactly is uncertainty in regards to POCD
- Username
- Ginger77Ginger77
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@? what do you mean
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Ginger77 For POCD, what does uncertainty look like
- Username
- Ginger77Ginger77
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@? You will have to deal with the uncertainty of not knowing.
- Username
- Ginger77Ginger77
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@? for example I don't know what's going to happen tommarow, but I can't just sit and ruminate in the thoughts of something bad maybe happening.
- Username
- seemeinacrownseemeinacrown
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@? I'm not exactly sure what u mean here? Can u explain a little more. About your thought process is? Just so we can help a bit better
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@seemeinacrown Does uncertainty for POCD mean uncertainty of actually being a p********? Or uncertainty of something else?
- Username
- kleigh21kleigh21
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You have to accept the thoughts. And get used to them.
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
What about “uncertainty”
- Username
- seemeinacrownseemeinacrown
- Date posted
- 4y ago
What else would you be uncertain of? Generally speaking it's about aether or not you are or aren't, but it can manifest in other things to do with that. Man I wish there was a PM, although I get why there isn't, I can tell you wanna say something but don't feel comfortable to in the forum, just remember you are in a safe place here.
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I don’t feel comfortable with the thought of being a p*. I don’t understand uncertainty when it comes to POCD so I need clarification. If it means being uncertain of whether or not I’m a p*, then that’s very disturbing to me. I know I would never do anything like that. I don’t support those acts. I don’t stand with it. I just want the thoughts to stop :(
- Username
- ahhhhhhmybrainahhhhhhmybrain
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@? Its okay my friend i promise. The best thing my therapist told me was to accept these thoughts as a symptom of the ocd. That these intrusive thoughts and unwanted symptoms are because of the ocd, not you my friend
- Username
- ahhhhhhmybrainahhhhhhmybrain
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@? I do think there needs to be a more clarified explanation of “accpeting uncertaintly” because it doesnt mean you have to accept that you may or may not be that person. It means you accept that ocd is a bully and that it will make you feel uncertain, I promise it wont always be like this my friend. You’re doing great
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@ahhhhhhmybrain Thank you for responding ? I truly appreciate your input. This helped me understand more
Related posts
- Username
- FuckOCD
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Someone please respond. Let me preface by saying that both my therapists and my mom don’t think I’m what I think I am. I have known I have OCD since I was 14, and I’m 22 now. (I had other forms of it in the past—perfectionism OCD, reverse HOCD (thought I was straight,) etc. But POCD is literally making me feel like trash and so scared and worthless. I can remember sooo many times when I had these thoughts and they weren’t “intrusive” because I didn’t know they were bad. Like so many times. So how does that make me any diff from an actual p********?! Now that I know they’re bad, we’re just going to call them intrusive?! I don’t want to hurt a child ever!! I want to have a relationship with someone my age! (But this can be true for real p********s too!!) I’m so scared, how can I just call these “false attractions” now?? Also, my type is young looking (people my age!) but does that mean I like them because they look child-like?! Please help, I want my happiness back. I’m not a bad person ?
- Username
- Anonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y ago
POCD
Serious trigger warning here for POCD and suicide. I have these thoughts, urges, and feelings that are terrifying. I don’t act on them and I believe I would never act on them but it feels so real and horrible. I don’t know how this started and I want to believe I am a good person but I’m just so scared that I’m going to do something terrible. And even just these thoughts scare me to my core and make me think, “oh what if I am a pedophile” even though I know I’m not, and I don’t know how to deal with them. When I can keep myself busy it gets easier to forget this stuff, but if I have downtime I can’t get it out of my head. I had a young girl, most likely middle school age, come into my work with her parents today and I was terrified of the idea that I could be attracted to her. I don’t believe I truly am but my thoughts get so aggressive that I don’t even know what to believe. I avoid a lot of things but sometimes you don’t have the option to avoid and it just gets things further stuck in my head and I end up fixating on awful things. I wake up with this stuff floating around my mind and I can’t get it to go away. I’ve even considered just ending it to all to make it easier on myself and to make sure that I never have the opportunity to act on these horrible thoughts and feelings. I don’t ever want to do these things and I know it may sound ridiculous, but the consequences of these actions I haven’t committed scare me as well such as people no longer trusting or loving me, prison, hurting someone else in any way, not being a good person, etc. I just can’t find anything that helps fix this. I have broken down many times due to this issue and I feel like it’ll never go away. I know killing my sled is not the answer and I know I will never act on any of this but the thoughts and feelings are so aggressive that I live in an almost constant state of fear of my own mind and body. I hate this. What did I do to deserve to suffer this way? Why me? Why can’t I just be a normal person with normal human thoughts and why of all forms of OCD did it’s have to be this one? I don’t know what to do. Someone please help me fix this before I lose hope.
- Username
- anony_
- Date posted
- 29w ago
POCD
hi everyone, i’m new to this app and it’s taken me a lot of courage to even post this or publicly say anything regarding my OCD because i feel so much shame and guilt and distress because of my POCD intrusive thoughts. it’s one of the most draining, most anxiety filled things ive ever been through. i’ve had OCD since i was little. i’ve had different themes ranging from my sexuality to health ( i still struggle with health OCD ) from awful morbid thoughts about my mother and now i’m having thoughts about children. i’ve been struggling with POCD for maybe almost 2 years and even though i know it’s OCD, im still constantly being mentally reminded it is a reflection of me. i keep getting to a point where i feel as if im starting to get better and even though i keep having a strong urge to compulse, i don’t proceed to and it’s been helping a lot. but then i get into a state where i start questioning “ what if i really don’t have OCD and these thoughts are genuinely who i am “ then i give into compulsions to check if im really an awful person. so it feels as if im back to square one. i really need advice and help and i want to know if anyone is experiencing the same thing and how you deal with it. thank you for taking the time to read this :)
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