Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Advice for a POCD sufferer? I know I would never harm a child in any way. The thought of being capable of doing that disgusts me. Am I asking for reassurance? Probably. But you know what, I need it and I’m being honest about it :( this “uncertainty” thing is very weird for me especially bc it’s POCD . I just want the thoughts to stop

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I think it’s hard to “accept” the thoughts because (for me, personally) that makes it feel like you’re accepting being a predator. That’s something that has made me very s**cidal in the past. I understand how you feel, in fact I struggle with this on a daily basis, even today so much so that I will hit myself to distract myself from a disturbing thought. (I don’t recommend that tbh, it’s probably not healthy) When I have a better wrap on my mental health and a thought like that crosses my mind I do not even think about it at all. I treat my mind like an etch a sketch and shake it away as soon as it pops in. When you invest in the thought it feels more real, and more deliberate. When I am not doing as well mental health wise I struggle to not feel upset, and if I do feel upset of course my first instinct is to immediately stop that, I’ll repeat certain words, talk out loud randomly to drown or distract the thought, sometimes hit myself or pinch myself. It’s a horrible thing to experience because it really feels demoralizing but just remember those thoughts ARENT you. If they were you wouldn’t be turned inside out about them, this is a real subcategory of OCD, you aren’t making it up. My best advice as someone who’s been normally functioning with this and also deeply s**cidal about it is if you can help it do that think even a second further about the thought. It enters your mind and you etch a sketch dissolve it right away and promptly do something afterwards that makes you feel like you. Listen to your favourite song, text a friend, make your favourite snack etc. You got this ❤️

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Thank you ? I have a question. What are your thoughts on “uncertainty” for POCD? It quite honestly scares me and makes me feel worst

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@? Do you mean uncertainty of whether or not you will act on thoughts or whether or not the thoughts are a true representation of yourself

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@Harper I think both

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

I know it’s awful, I have the worst accusatory voice in my head any time I’m anywhere near a child or look at one and I start questioning why I looked at them. So I try to act like they don’t exist and I feel like that makes it worse, it feels like I’m trying to be in denial. It doesn’t even make any sense. I’ve never harmed a kid, wouldn’t get anything out of it and really I KNOW I’m never going to. It’s the loop of questioning myself and my memories and the stigma which is really causing the trouble in my mind I think. And it’s disgusting because I feel like I have to think about it vividly so I can check that I definitely still don’t like it, or watch documentaries or Hanson vs predator just to try to “check” and make sure, but it just makes the stigma part feel worse which makes it all worse. I’ve had it about other intrusive sexual stuff I shouldn’t have which makes me spiral the same way. Idk if I have much advice to give other than resisting the thinking about it and ‘checking’. I have other OCDs and once I move onto one of them, the sexual ones seem unimportant and unrealistic. So that’s the gauge I try to go by. Remember how you felt in the times when you have felt/known that it’s not true and is kinda cray.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Wow I seriously needed this. We’ve both gone through very similar through-processes and feelings! Thank you for responding

seemeinacrown

Date posted: 5y

This experience sounds very familiar, and also the checking methods similer too

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

@seemeinacrown Yeah I think people shy away from talking about their checking methods because it feels so dirty and shameful and makes you question yourself even more like why the hell would I imagine that or want to see or hear about any of that and feeling like you would be judged or misunderstood. Even if you know it’s because you have the need to check, because then a bit of you is still constantly like “is that really why though?”. It’s this horrible loop of torture-shame :(

Ginger77

Date posted: 5y

Accepting the uncertainty is the only way to get better.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

But what exactly is uncertainty in regards to POCD

Ginger77

Date posted: 5y

@? what do you mean

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@Ginger77 For POCD, what does uncertainty look like

Ginger77

Date posted: 5y

@? You will have to deal with the uncertainty of not knowing.

Ginger77

Date posted: 5y

@? for example I don't know what's going to happen tommarow, but I can't just sit and ruminate in the thoughts of something bad maybe happening.

seemeinacrown

Date posted: 5y

@? I'm not exactly sure what u mean here? Can u explain a little more. About your thought process is? Just so we can help a bit better

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@seemeinacrown Does uncertainty for POCD mean uncertainty of actually being a p********? Or uncertainty of something else?

kleigh21

Date posted: 5y

You have to accept the thoughts. And get used to them.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

What about “uncertainty”

seemeinacrown

Date posted: 5y

What else would you be uncertain of? Generally speaking it's about aether or not you are or aren't, but it can manifest in other things to do with that. Man I wish there was a PM, although I get why there isn't, I can tell you wanna say something but don't feel comfortable to in the forum, just remember you are in a safe place here.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I don’t feel comfortable with the thought of being a p*. I don’t understand uncertainty when it comes to POCD so I need clarification. If it means being uncertain of whether or not I’m a p*, then that’s very disturbing to me. I know I would never do anything like that. I don’t support those acts. I don’t stand with it. I just want the thoughts to stop :(

Countrybreak...

Date posted: 5y

@? Its okay my friend i promise. The best thing my therapist told me was to accept these thoughts as a symptom of the ocd. That these intrusive thoughts and unwanted symptoms are because of the ocd, not you my friend

Countrybreak...

Date posted: 5y

@? I do think there needs to be a more clarified explanation of “accpeting uncertaintly” because it doesnt mean you have to accept that you may or may not be that person. It means you accept that ocd is a bully and that it will make you feel uncertain, I promise it wont always be like this my friend. You’re doing great

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@ahhhhhhmybrain Thank you for responding ? I truly appreciate your input. This helped me understand more

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 25w

Intrusive thoughts during self pleasuring :/

I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/

POCD

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 23w

Help, Meta OCD/POCD?

I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?

TurbulentSaq112

Date posted: 10w

POCD without guilt or shame

I am 15 years old and my POCD feels like its not POCD, i feel like i like my intrusive thoughts, but i have more intrusive thoughts about having intrusive thoughts, and i feel like i cant enjoy the things i normally enjoy anymore, like calling with my girlfriend and joking with her because this is still in the back of my mind, its making me question morals and if i ever even viewed P as completely wrong and i hate this so much, i love my nieces and nephews and when they're over i know id never do anything with my intrusive thoughts but when they arent present i feel like i like my thoughts. Before this i was dealing with HOCD and ROCD and i wish i could go back to that

POCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community