- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey Soph, are you sure that information is true? I know that telling yourself " i have hocd therefore i'm not gay" is a compulsion, but the fact of the matter is usually people suffering from SOOCD (sexual orientation ocd) remain in the same sexual orientation they always believed themselves to be before the obsession hit, they just accept that a symptom of having soocd is doubting that and possibly having groinal responses and to prevent anxiety from taking over they'll retort to ther thoughts "yeah, well maybe you DO make me gay and what's wrong with that?" Now that doesn't mean that they consider themselves to be gay, that just means that they have embraced the fact that ultimately human sexuality is complicated and you choose to make it what you desire. If you are a woman who wants to be with men and you want to be straight, well then, you are. No amount of symptoms can take that away from you, but you have to learn how to live in uncertainty because the fact is, our minds work differently and will always try to get us down with doubts, distorted trips down memory lane, groinal responses, intrusive thoughts and urges, etc. And the only way we stop these thoughts from taking over our lives is by recognizing they exist and letting them happen, not giving them the power they so desire by not feeding into fear. So if a groinal impulse comes along when you see someone of the same sex, it's not about freaking out and thinking "OMG IS THIS PROOF I'M GAY?" but rather saying " i'm straight, but you know what, if you're trying to tell me i'm gay then that's cool too." Now, this doesn't mean you turn gay now - it just means you don't give the ocd the fear that it so craves to come back every time. It happens for homosexuals as well but with people of the opposite sex, and ultimately they decide to follow their truest feeling and remain gay and understand that their brain is ultimately trying to perpetuate the cycle of anxiety and they simply acknowledge that and move on.
- Date posted
- 5y
Like it feels deep down im bi or leabain or pan
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m not sure where you’re finding these examples, but they are the exception, not the rule. The data collected by OCD Specialists show that people with HOCD that recover typically are able to accept the uncertainty and ambiguity of sexual orientation while continuing to live and identify as they did before this particular OCD theme. Is there someone out there who has “discovered” they were gay eventually? Maybe. But that has nothing to do with you. This would actually be a GREAT script topic for you for ERP. Write out a story where you recover and later discover/accept that you’re bi/gay. Read it 10 times a day for the next 2 weeks and see how you feel about all of this then.
- Date posted
- 5y
Omg i feel like this is me
- Date posted
- 5y
Like ive done so manu things that would make me bi or lesbain
- Date posted
- 5y
This is my biggest fear.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I don’t know what to do with this bs anymore. I’m crying again and again and again and again. I cannot describe how painful this is. I’ve recovered from every single OCD subtype expect this one. HOCD is so scary and it’s so incredibly scary how it feels so real. The issue with this subtype is how intertwined it is with feelings and sensations. I hate how it keeps latching onto the past and uses the past as proof. I don’t want it to be the truth. I don’t want to accept any possibility.
- Date posted
- 19w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
- Students with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 18w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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