zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
Can you talk to your mom about the fact that you suspect you have OCD and would like to talk to an OCD Specialist? You could really benefit from a trained professional helping you recover. You don’t have to tell her about your specific theme, just that you’ve done some research and want to look into it. If she presses you, let her know that you’re not ready to share, but you promise to explain more later and you need her support. Right now, you’re clearly suffering. You’re doing mental compulsions left and right. You’re trying to suppress your thoughts. And all of those things will only feed your obsession. An OCD Specialist can help you start to see how this monster works so you can make more informed decisions that help you get better. A few tips to get you started on your own: (1) Stop telling yourself NOT to think of these things. When we tell ourselves not to think something, we will not only end up thinking about it, but we’ll tell our brains that that thing is important, relevant, and needs attention. (2) Stop doing compulsions in response to these thoughts. When you have an intrusive thought, don’t start “checking” to make sure you feel guilty, unaroused, and disgusted. Checking for these things, similar to trying to suppress thoughts, will only make the opposite happen. (3) Lean into uncertainty. This part is very difficult, especially at first when you’ve never done it before. For each question you come up with in response to intrusive thoughts (ie am I a pedo? Did I like that? Will I ever get better?) you have to answer with uncertainty and then just let the anxiety wash over you and leave on its own. My go to answer: “maybe that’s true, or maybe it’s not. I don’t know and I don’t need to know.” I hope you can get some help soon!
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
i am i’m supposed to see a therapist soon and i feel like when i look at kids i get an erection, is it just obsession?
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
@zaedae20042008 I’m glad you’re talking to a therapist soon. Are they an OCD specialist? Many therapists aren’t properly trained in ERP, and that’s the treatment you need. I highly recommend going to a specialist over a general therapist. Also, what you’re asking for is called “reassurance,” and that’s actually a compulsion. Repeatedly asking others to confirm that your symptoms are normal might make you feel better briefly, but it actually feeds your obsession and makes you more anxious in the long term. Even above my comment, I see someone telling you this is normal for OCD and you’re asking for more. That cycle will continue unless you choose to stop it. Say to yourself “maybe these symptoms are normal, or maybe they’re not. I don’t/can’t know.” And accept that as your answer. Look no further. Let the anxiety be there and leave on its own.
A brotherA brother
- Date posted
- 5y
@pureolife I’m thoroughly impressed with your responses they were beautiful. @zaedae20042008 I have struggled with similar obsessions and thank God I have greatly improved. Hang in there man you got this. You’re not alone here
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
thanks bro
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
what treatments have you been through?
199903199903
- Date posted
- 5y
One of the common compulsions in POCD is avoidance, and it’s also common to become excessively focused on your obsession triggers. This happens with a lot of things! If you’re really excited to buy a new Honda, you’re going to see Hondas everywhere. If you’re scared of children, you’re going to see a lot of children! This isn’t to say there’s any kind of magical thinking making things appear, you’re just becoming more aware of what was already there before. The best thing to do here according to ERP would be to a knowledge there will probably be kids at Walmart, you will probably have intrusive thoughts about them, and continue to go shopping anyway ?
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
right know i just masturbated and like i can’t believe i got erection from thinking of that nasty stuff and i went pornhub and the intrusive thoughts were coming and i just had to take care of it, and now i feel guilty that i had to take care of it ??
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
why can’t this just go away ?, i’ll do anything for it to go away, surgery, anything, i just wanna get away from these thoughts and my brain is like it’s okay you think about that stuff but it’s not it’s really not?, and like i don’t know what to do anymore is it just my ocd?
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
is that bad? i feel guilty and like i don’t wanna become a pedo ?, like everytime it comes up i’m like no i don’t wanna think of that, but all these intrusive thoughts give me an erection and i have no choice but to take care of it, so it can go away ?, and i don’t look at kids or anything i go on pornhub and watch videos, but sometimes that’s when they kick in like what if that’s a kid and like it gets me excited i just wanna stop i feel like my brain is controlling me ?
199903199903
- Date posted
- 5y
@zaedae20042008 Hey, I really want to be able to help you more but there’s a lot of reassurance seeking happening here! Believe me, I know how you feel. I suffer with POCD too, I’ve never done anything remotely pedophilic or plan to, but I get a horrible feeling that I will lose control around a child. It’s really scary but you have to have some faith that this is an OCD obsession and that treatment is available. Other than that, pureolife gave some really good advice that will really help you. Believe me, OCD therapists have seen it all before, nothing shocks them. Leaning into uncertainty is the best option here. There’s a lot of effective ways to do this! The most effective way is to respond with “maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. Who knows.” and continue on with your day. Another way is to say “maybe, maybe not” and continue living your life assuming the best and acting as if you’re unbothered by the thoughts, even if you are. These techniques take time and practice but over time you will teach your brain these thoughts don’t need to be responded to with so much anxiety. Best of luck
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
and like i got an erection and i feel like i gotta take care if it badly burns i don’t wanna do nothing because i’ll feel guilty, like i don’t wanna to masturbate
199903199903
- Date posted
- 5y
If masturbating is what you value doing right now, do that. If you’re trying to masturbate as a compulsion to prove something is or isn’t true, don’t! Resist compulsions ?
figuringitalloutfiguringital...
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel this so much. You’re going through something totally common with ocd
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
it is?
figuringitalloutfiguringital...
- Date posted
- 5y
@zaedae20042008 Yes. To answer your question below, getting an erection is a common grtoinal response. It’s scary, trust me, I get them, but it’s part of it.
figuringitalloutfiguringital...
- Date posted
- 5y
@figuringitallout How did your pocd start?
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
@figuringitallout i think it happened like around like april because i was like horny and i was masturbating and like i saw my girlfriends sister and i looked at her story and it showed her and i ejaculated, and now i feel guilty, and then i saw a video of like a child predator and i was worried like i was one and now it calmed down but the thoughts still cross my mind, “you are one” “why would you even go on her story”, like i just wanna get rid of these thoughts i just want them to go away, i feel like they’re gonna get the best of me and one day i’m gonna pop off and do something ??
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
@figuringitallout i think i had it my whole life because everytime i would like think about stuff like that it would go away but now then it got to me and like i’m worried af, sometimes i’m not even worried and like my brain tells me i am one ??
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
@zaedae20042008 and i think that fed into it
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
@zaedae20042008 do you think it can go away ?? like forever?
zaedae20042008zaedae20042008
- Date posted
- 5y
@figuringitallout i have ptsd from that moment ?
figuringitalloutfiguringital...
- Date posted
- 5y
@zaedae20042008 That’s similar to me, I think I always had pocd and intrusive thoughts but I didn’t know it, and now it feels like I have secretly been a predator my whole life. And I feel you on the PTSD, I have such awful things that started my pocd and it’s so hard to get over. Trust me you’re not alone
Related posts
Youactlikeyo...
- Date posted
- 23w
Is this apart of ocd?
Hi I just have a few questions! (Im 14 btw) Okay so basically I’m really worried I’ll become a pedo/I already am and I don’t know it yet. I’m also really scared if I SA someone, even tho I don’t want to and I’d never do something like that but I feel like this part of me is saying that I will and it’s really scaring me. I feel so alone and I’m so scared I’m a bad person on the inside and this isn’t ocd and I’m gonna unleash hell on this earth I’m so scared. I’ll get a thought like if I’m walking past someone random it will be like “What if you sa them?” And it scares me so bad I feel horrible for thinking that. Is this apart of it? I feel like I’m always fixated on the topic of sa to check if I would do something like that, I don’t know anymore I just feel like a bad person (btw I have not done anything like that to anyone!)
Idontknow
- Date posted
- 22w
Worried
One day I saw someone who was in a wheelchair and I had asked his mom if he could have a family and I don’t know why I would I ask that I had a thought saying so I could r*pe word him and I literally was just thinking about me taking advantage of him and why did I feel a gronial response and why did I think about me taking advantage of him??
Anony1314
- Date posted
- 20w
On the struggle bus
Struggling. My mind/OCD told me I had already abused my child by breathing when they were laying across me and that I might as well do something else to hurt them. I had to think for a second, but the only thing that came to mind was to move my elbow towards their groin area to cause a "feeling". Well I did just that, and I ended up grazing their groinal area and it caused a disgusting unwanted feeling. I IMMEDIATELY wanted to throw up and panicked. I also asked my child to move off of me immediately. It went against my morals, beliefs, and values as an individual and mother. I can't stop thinking about it and it's very debilitating. I didn't enjoy a single moment of it. But my question to you guys is am the monster that I've always been scared of being? Do I belong in the ground? Do I deserve to have a wonderful life and wonderful, perfect child?
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