my mom said do you wanna stay here or go to walmart, and the first thing i thought of was kids and if there was gonna be any and i didn’t feel guilty ?, am i a monster?i feel like if i’m not guilty from these thoughts, i am a monster and i don’t wanna end up like a nasty pedo ??

i am i’m supposed to see a therapist soon and i feel like when i look at kids i get an erection, is it just obsession?

@zaedae20042008 I’m glad you’re talking to a therapist soon. Are they an OCD specialist? Many therapists aren’t properly trained in ERP, and that’s the treatment you need. I highly recommend going to a specialist over a general therapist. Also, what you’re asking for is called “reassurance,” and that’s actually a compulsion. Repeatedly asking others to confirm that your symptoms are normal might make you feel better briefly, but it actually feeds your obsession and makes you more anxious in the long term. Even above my comment, I see someone telling you this is normal for OCD and you’re asking for more. That cycle will continue unless you choose to stop it. Say to yourself “maybe these symptoms are normal, or maybe they’re not. I don’t/can’t know.” And accept that as your answer. Look no further. Let the anxiety be there and leave on its own.

thanks bro

what treatments have you been through?

right know i just masturbated and like i can’t believe i got erection from thinking of that nasty stuff and i went pornhub and the intrusive thoughts were coming and i just had to take care of it, and now i feel guilty that i had to take care of it ??

why can’t this just go away ?, i’ll do anything for it to go away, surgery, anything, i just wanna get away from these thoughts and my brain is like it’s okay you think about that stuff but it’s not it’s really not?, and like i don’t know what to do anymore is it just my ocd?

is that bad? i feel guilty and like i don’t wanna become a pedo ?, like everytime it comes up i’m like no i don’t wanna think of that, but all these intrusive thoughts give me an erection and i have no choice but to take care of it, so it can go away ?, and i don’t look at kids or anything i go on pornhub and watch videos, but sometimes that’s when they kick in like what if that’s a kid and like it gets me excited i just wanna stop i feel like my brain is controlling me ?

@zaedae20042008 Hey, I really want to be able to help you more but there’s a lot of reassurance seeking happening here! Believe me, I know how you feel. I suffer with POCD too, I’ve never done anything remotely pedophilic or plan to, but I get a horrible feeling that I will lose control around a child. It’s really scary but you have to have some faith that this is an OCD obsession and that treatment is available. Other than that, pureolife gave some really good advice that will really help you. Believe me, OCD therapists have seen it all before, nothing shocks them. Leaning into uncertainty is the best option here. There’s a lot of effective ways to do this! The most effective way is to respond with “maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. Who knows.” and continue on with your day. Another way is to say “maybe, maybe not” and continue living your life assuming the best and acting as if you’re unbothered by the thoughts, even if you are. These techniques take time and practice but over time you will teach your brain these thoughts don’t need to be responded to with so much anxiety. Best of luck

If masturbating is what you value doing right now, do that. If you’re trying to masturbate as a compulsion to prove something is or isn’t true, don’t! Resist compulsions ?

it is?

@zaedae20042008 Yes. To answer your question below, getting an erection is a common grtoinal response. It’s scary, trust me, I get them, but it’s part of it.

@figuringitallout How did your pocd start?

@figuringitallout i think it happened like around like april because i was like horny and i was masturbating and like i saw my girlfriends sister and i looked at her story and it showed her and i ejaculated, and now i feel guilty, and then i saw a video of like a child predator and i was worried like i was one and now it calmed down but the thoughts still cross my mind, “you are one” “why would you even go on her story”, like i just wanna get rid of these thoughts i just want them to go away, i feel like they’re gonna get the best of me and one day i’m gonna pop off and do something ??

@figuringitallout i think i had it my whole life because everytime i would like think about stuff like that it would go away but now then it got to me and like i’m worried af, sometimes i’m not even worried and like my brain tells me i am one ??

@zaedae20042008 and i think that fed into it

@zaedae20042008 do you think it can go away ?? like forever?

@figuringitallout i have ptsd from that moment ?

@zaedae20042008 That’s similar to me, I think I always had pocd and intrusive thoughts but I didn’t know it, and now it feels like I have secretly been a predator my whole life. And I feel you on the PTSD, I have such awful things that started my pocd and it’s so hard to get over. Trust me you’re not alone