Hi guys. I’m struggling because I obsess over things I feel I’ve done wrong and I fear my boyfriend will break up with me over them. I never cheated on him but it’s things like responding to a compliment wrong, feeling like I said something flirtatious when I wasn’t trying to seem flirtatious. I’ve told my boyfriend about some of my fears and he hasn’t broken up with me but my compulsion is to tell him my fears so he can reassure me that the thing I’m obsessing about isn’t a deal breaker. However it’s really not healthy for my relationship to tell him everything I feel I did wrong and I feel like I have to tell him every little detail of every conversation that bothers me. Does anyone else have thoughts like this?

Anybody else have a major problem with confessions in ROCD? How can I deal with the urge to confess every little thought to my boyfriend? It’s hurtful to him because I’m constantly telling him every minor interaction I’ve had that I can remember with another guy, telling him my doubts about our relationship, and lately I’ve even been telling him hurtful things I don’t even agree with as far as comparing him to people I’ve been with before and people I’m attracted to. It’s really wrong of me to say these things to him for the sole purpose of relieving my anxiety. Any advice?

Hey, I just got here! And this is crazy, but you know all my problems, so talk to me maybe? ? I’m always worried my partner loves me too much or that I love him too much. I don’t want anyone being hurt in the long run by how unequal we’ve been. When it’s him, I want to break off the relationship now before I make it worse. When it’s me, I want to break it off now because I must be so pathetic. I have such a bad fear of my partner cheating that I’ve started telling myself that I already know he is — just so I won’t compulsively watch him text, check his phone while he showers, stalk his social media, question all his friendships, etc. I’m so shocked to be finding out this is something a whole group of people experiences! It used to make feel physically ill; I was so anxious I couldn’t sleep or eat for days at a time. The *only* possible relief for me was breaking off my relationship and also all contact. Once the thought has entered my brain, there’s no backing down from it. I have to end it, or else that nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach stays forever. I guess that’s a form of compulsion? Maybe? It first happened when I was 16 and had my first boyfriend. I didn’t love him, but he was in love with me. I felt guilty, and he became annoying. One morning, I woke up to the instant and insistent thought that I must break up with him. All day, I was physically nauseated thinking about my boyfriend. That afternoon, I did it, and I honestly cried tears of relief - not from the end of the relationship but in response to not feeling that way any longer! So it began...

Does anyone have any advice for sharing their obsessions with their significant other? I struggle with relationship and sexuality OCD. My boyfriend knows I have OCD, but we have never discussed it in detail. I think he is trying to respect my boundaries and I am terrified he won’t understand my obsessions and/or will take them personally. As a result I feel like I am hiding this horrible secret, and it is causing me so much anxiety. I want to talk to him about it, but I don’t know how to bring it up in a way that won’t hurt him.