- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Don’t apologize for something happening inside your brain that you can’t yet control! It’s such a hard thing to have these unwanted feelings and not be able to stop them. But don’t apologize for it! It’s the OCD making you feel like it’s your fault, but it’s not. Have you thought about trying to talk to a therapist or someone about these feelings? It’s helped me to talk them out to be able to sort through what I really feel versus what the OCD is telling me to feel.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you x
- Date posted
- 5y
I think sometimes we get so used to having intrusive thoughts that we start to get desensitized to them. Then it doesn’t feel “intrusive” anymore because it’s not causing so much anxiety or disgust like it used to. Then we question whether we’re becoming the thoughts or not. For example, I’ve had ocd for so long that when a new type of thought pops in my head I don’t get anxious anymore because I’ve had SO many unwanted thoughts nothing really seems to phase me anymore. It still feels so real though, even when we know in our hearts it’s just lies OCD wants us to believe. OCD really sucks :/ I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I wish I could just take everyone’s intrusive thoughts away so we wouldn’t suffer anymore. Stay strong, and remember to breathe and take slow calming breaths when you’re feeling worked up.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much for your help, I really appreciate it!
- Date posted
- 5y
I am going through similar stuff
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm really sorry, I understand how terrible it can be. How are you doing today?
- Date posted
- 5y
@corablue Not great
- Date posted
- 5y
@Makki23 I'm sorry to hear that. What is troubling you?
- Date posted
- 5y
@corablue Im scared I'm going to forget who I am...my mind feels a mess
- Date posted
- 5y
This might be of some help maybe: https://ocdla.com/doubt-denial-ocd-5342
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you! It was helpful.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I need advice. I’ve had OCD in different forms since I was eight. I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now. He has always been subtly anxious and jealous. He would say things like, “I find everyone but you ugly” or “I could never find anyone else attractive.” That stressed me out morally, especially since it’s our first relationship and I, of course, want to be good enough for him. It started around the three-month mark of our relationship. Now to the problem: When I see someone who is attractive or cute, it already begins. I start thinking—or rather, I don’t just think, I feel. I genuinely and naturally feel these emotions, like I find that person attractive, like I like them, like I want them. I even feel infatuated, like I want to be with them, spend time with them, be their partner, even sexual scenarios or feelings like I love them. These emotions feel so natural and real that I can’t tell the difference. With one person, I’ve had these feelings for over a year. But I only know most of these people by sight. It could be that I’ve fallen in love with the idea of them. That’s a big issue for me. It completely goes against my moral values. I don’t want this. For me, it would be terrible to have a crush on someone else, to like someone else, or to fall in love with another person. Or worse, to love someone else. Because I do love my partner, and I want a future with him. And I know the relationship wouldn’t survive if my fears came true. Even if he always tells me, ‘No, I wouldn’t break up with you,’ I couldn’t live with it myself. And the thing is, it’s not even such an unrealistic fear. It’s not like I’m afraid I want to kill someone or that I have feelings like that. No, this topic I’m dealing with involves real people. There are many people who suddenly fall for someone else, who develop a crush or even fall in love with another person. And I can’t reconcile that with myself. A year ago, I saw someone, and it hit me like a shock (I think in a negative way). Yes, he is attractive or cute. But in that moment, I felt so much fear, panic, and adrenaline because I felt and thought that I liked him more than my partner. When that happens, I start testing my feelings again. And of course, I feel exactly what I’m afraid of. I then constantly feel this pressure or burden, along with guilt. When I think about a scenario, or imagine the person, those feelings come immediately—followed by fear, panic, and guilt. Because of that, I avoid certain places, things, or even numbers because I’m afraid of being triggered. By now, I’m convinced these are my true feelings, because I just can’t imagine that OCD could produce such emotions, and for such a long time—sometimes over a year. I simply don’t want this. I just feel awful, like a monster. What should I do?
- Date posted
- 6w
* Mentions of Sexual OCD, Hypersexuality, among other things. Recently, I had started to feel so much better, after trying to do some ERP therapy at home, i could feel myself becoming much more capable of holding back intrusive thoughts. Well since yesterday.. or, i dont know when, its been absolutely destroyed. About a month ago, I went out with some friends to the mall. everything was great, until while at the arcade, me and one of my friends tried pranking the other two by running off without them noticing. Well it backfired, one of the others went with him, and i was left with someone who i’ll just call J for the sake of simplicity. To cut it short, we had already pranked J earlier, so I stayed back to tell him about what we were trying to do, and things got weird. He started telling me to ‘go to the bathroom’ with him. I’ll admit that i didnt know what to say, i just felt off, but i wasnt going to do any of that. But i didnt say no. Long story short, i had to use the bathroom, so i left the arcade and went to another and luckily my friend distracted J so he wouldnt follow me in. I’d like to also add now that I have someone that i love dearly, me and him arent really together yet, but its a mutual thing. After that i cried when i returned home. and eventually i moved on, blocked the guy and everything. Now, i don’t know why, or how, but i cant stop having images in my head of what would’ve happened if i did do it. If i did go to the bathroom. And at the same time it shows me images of things happening in my own house, i see it in the shower, while on my couch, even while eating. And it doesnt stop at the sexual stuff, No. It shows me romantic versions of all this; hugging, kissing, holding hands, and in the background it mostly shows sexual scenes. All while giving me groinal responses and weird sensations that are akin to attraction of some kind. Im losing my mind trying to get it to stop. Its eating me alive, and its gotten to the point where i feel like im cheating on my partner. And my mind keeps tellint me that i actually dont love my partner, that I should’ve just gone along with what J was saying, and its making me feel like i dont really love my partner. That i should just unblock and text J. Its making me feel like ive fallen out of love and i dont know why, what if i did fall out of love? what if i end up doing something wrong, or making the wrong choice? Im scared of not loving my partner. I love my partner too much to lose him to this bullcrap. Has anyone else dealt with this? I feel lost and I dont know what to do. I cant even think about my own partner, not even about me hugging him, it gets replaced with J, everytime i try to think about anything it gets replaced in some way with something related to J. Even if i see a show, and i see someone that reminds me of J i instantly start getting intrusive thoughts and images. I feel so horrible, i feel like I’ve failed my relationship somehow. I dont know what to do.
- Date posted
- 6w
OK, so I never had a boyfriend before because I’ve always avoided relationships because I’ve always had a fear of intimacy/ fear of someone getting too close (i have an avoidant attachment style) and just a hard time getting close to anyone in general. Well i am 22 years old now and i finally got a boyfriend for the first time and he is my heart in human form. Like i love him more than anything and i just want to love and support him as much as possible because i truly believe he deserves the world and more. OKAY SORRY ENOUGH ABT MY UNDYING LOVE FOR MY BOYFRIEND- i came on here to say i have been having these intrusive thoughts and they’re so disgusting. The thoughts are of me cheating and never I my life have i ever thought i?? I would do that so when I had this thought, it sent me into a panic. I was having anxiety for weeks and it was hell because it’s like my reality gets distorted. It just sucks because this is my first ever relationship and the only thing i want to do is just give my love to this man and make him the happiest person on earth. That’s is it i swear but my thoughts are so so so cruel. BTW i forgot to mention that cheating is his biggest fear in a relationship SO I know my ocd took that and RAN. Well anyways I can’t help but feel like I’m the worst human being on this earth but can some of yall send some ERP exercises and ways yall get over your ocd flares ups/ocd attacks please ? help a girl out 😔
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