- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Don’t apologize for something happening inside your brain that you can’t yet control! It’s such a hard thing to have these unwanted feelings and not be able to stop them. But don’t apologize for it! It’s the OCD making you feel like it’s your fault, but it’s not. Have you thought about trying to talk to a therapist or someone about these feelings? It’s helped me to talk them out to be able to sort through what I really feel versus what the OCD is telling me to feel.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you x
- Date posted
- 5y
I think sometimes we get so used to having intrusive thoughts that we start to get desensitized to them. Then it doesn’t feel “intrusive” anymore because it’s not causing so much anxiety or disgust like it used to. Then we question whether we’re becoming the thoughts or not. For example, I’ve had ocd for so long that when a new type of thought pops in my head I don’t get anxious anymore because I’ve had SO many unwanted thoughts nothing really seems to phase me anymore. It still feels so real though, even when we know in our hearts it’s just lies OCD wants us to believe. OCD really sucks :/ I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I wish I could just take everyone’s intrusive thoughts away so we wouldn’t suffer anymore. Stay strong, and remember to breathe and take slow calming breaths when you’re feeling worked up.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much for your help, I really appreciate it!
- Date posted
- 5y
I am going through similar stuff
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm really sorry, I understand how terrible it can be. How are you doing today?
- Date posted
- 5y
@corablue Not great
- Date posted
- 5y
@Makki23 I'm sorry to hear that. What is troubling you?
- Date posted
- 5y
@corablue Im scared I'm going to forget who I am...my mind feels a mess
- Date posted
- 5y
This might be of some help maybe: https://ocdla.com/doubt-denial-ocd-5342
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you! It was helpful.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Background: I'm 17 about to be 18. I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S( which I now cut contact with) months and months ago, I came clean to my boyfriend and he forgave me but that's when this all started. I'm not diagnosed with Ocd yet but jm seeing a local counselor. Now: In the past months I've been having thoughts like " what if I love S" "What if my boyfriend is just a friend to me" "I'd rather S did that * insert sexual thing or normal romantic thing*" " S wouldn't do that" "What if I secretly love S" "I love S" and I kept imagining scenarios with S to test how I'd react physically. These thoughts are there everyday for me 24/7, some days it's worse some it's better but I cry about them everyday because they build up and I just explode. I don't want to have them but they get worse and worse with time and I'm scared they reflect some kind of truth because of my past. I finished to have a crisis now, lasted at least 1 hour and I cried my heart out, my mind was like " I dont want anyone else to touch me like my boyfriend does" but then it said back " I love S" " I want S to do that" ecc ecc, got so bad I need to refocus during sex and I need to see my boyfriends face to be sure it's him because I'm scared S is gonna come into my mind and I'm gonna get turned on for him thing that scares me to death. I had the same with pedo like thoughts, for a while I had to avoid children because I was convinced I was a pedo. This comes and goes but the theme it's most in my mind it's this S theme around my relationship. I love my boyfriend and I don't want any of this, can someone please suggest me what to do?
- Date posted
- 23w
I have ocd, i have crazy intrusive thoughts that make me super uncomfortable, the thing is i understand that ocd goes against your morals and try’s to make you feel like a bad person but how do i avoid pushing people away while trying to treat my ocd.. i love my boyfriend so so much but when i get intrusive thoughts about hurting his feelings or doing something terrible it scares me so bad that i’m scared to be around him because in my head it’s like “why am i even thinking of this if i love him so much” and i know i would never do anything to hurt him but i just feel terrible because he’s an amazing boyfriend and i have all these bad thoughts. :(
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi. I am going through something really hard right now, and I could use some insight, especially from others who deal with OCD and morality-based spirals. There was a time during a really emotional conversation with my boyfriend when he said something incredibly painful. He said something like he only felt lust for me but did not feel love anymore. I was completely crushed. It felt like everything I believed about our relationship was ripped out from under me. In that moment, I told him that what he said felt like rape. I want to be really clear. I knew even then that it was not a good or accurate comparison. It was not assault. I was trying to express how emotionally violated and broken I felt, and that word came out. I even labeled it directly, not just compared it, and that is what has been haunting me. I feel like I kept going along with it, not because I wanted to lie or manipulate, but because I felt like if I backed down from it, he would not understand the depth of how hurt I was. He didn’t seem to understand any other way. Later, when we tried to be intimate again, I told him not to touch me. And even though a part of me did want closeness, I still felt like I had to react that way, like I had to follow through with what I had said earlier. I wanted so bad for him to understand the impact of his words. That part is killing me. It makes me feel like I was not being authentic, that I was performing a reaction instead of living it. I feel like I acted like a survivor when I was not one, and I hate myself for that. Now, OCD is eating me alive over it. It keeps telling me I am a liar, a manipulator, and someone who cannot be trusted. And it feels so real. But I also know I was hurting. I was not trying to deceive anyone. I was just overwhelmed, desperate to be understood, and probably influenced by years of invalidation from my family over almost everything. I have talked to my boyfriend about it and apologized. He told me he understands and forgives me. But I cannot forgive myself, and I do not know if what I did is forgivable. Has anyone ever been in a similar place? I feel so so awful this was 3 years ago. Now I feel like I can’t trust any of my emotions. I’m analyzing every reaction, past and present, trying to decide if it was “real enough” or if I was somehow dishonest. It feels like OCD has completely hijacked my sense of self. Please help :(
- Harm OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Religion & Spirituality OCD
- OCD newbies
- Young adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond