Ocd_istheworst

Date posted: 5y

long-term-use-of-antidepressants-could-cause-permanent-damage-doctors-warn-11688430 I got done with ocd treatment on here and ocd has gotten a bit better but now now what’s left over is my major depressive disorder and I am so depressed that I can’t function and I have lost all hope, can’t survive off of meds but don’t want to go back on because of all the bad shit and having to go through withdrawal again after 2 years on something just to do it all again???? I don’t want to keep trying new meds and new meds and see which one doesn’t effect sex drive and see which one that doesn’t have bad withdrawals or dangers like post chronic symptoms. Clearly they all have risks of chronic issues and I already have enough mental illnesses to deal with I don’t want more issues just bc I need meds to function .. Plus no one ever answers me on here it’s not like I’ll even get a reply to this one either it’s like talking to a wall

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

It hurts when there’s not much of or any reply to posts. So, your OCD is improved, and you finished ERP on here. But now, you feel super depressed and like you can’t function. It feels like you have two options 1) cause permanent damage to your body by taking meds which will help you function or 2) avoid the permanent damage of drugs and remain unable to function. Did I hear you correctly? If I don’t respond right away, it’s because I’m actively trying to cut down the amount of time I spend on this app.

Ocd_istheworst

Date posted: 5y

Yes exactly!!! Which now seeing it as point blank, seems like quite a good ERP script ... It fees like either one I’m a hopeless case.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdaim Awesome! Script away! Back to the depression. Maybe it would be helpful to consider: 1) what does “functioning” look like to you? 2) You listed two options—is there a third, fourth, fifth?

Ocd_istheworst

Date posted: 5y

@Alyosha These are good points! For me functioning would be being productive in anyway towards my goals I have in life and not just do laundry and lay down all day bc I’m mentally drained. I used to have motivation and ambitions and plans and it seems to me like every day I say “I’ll feel better tomorrow to get ____ started.” And then it rolls around and I’m too depressed for do so. Other options than meds though would be trying out other things like maybe CBT? For my anxiety. I have no idea if it can help with depression also. And maybe having someone hold myself accountable for some small things to do during the week. I do also need to find a new general therapist.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdaim Great ideas! If you don’t mind me asking, when did your depression start? It seems there are two kinds: this low-level but chronic condition that spans years, and this high-level, episodic type that knocks you down for a few months. (I’m not a doctor, and could be wrong about that, but that seems to be the case from what I’ve read.) What is your depression like?

Ocd_istheworst

Date posted: 5y

@Alyosha My depression has been back ever since I weened off my ocd meds which was about a year ago. It gets very severe at times with episodes lasting weeks if I have an OCD spike, but If it’s not ocd related then its just at a flat low-level most of the time

Ben84

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdaim Hi Ocdaim! Just letting you know Alyosha probably won't be back till Monday. Didn't want you to think she's ignoring you ☺.

Ocd_istheworst

Date posted: 5y

@Ben84 No worries at all! Thanks Ben for letting me know! ? hope you are doing well

Ben84

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdaim Not too shabby. How about you ☺?

Ocd_istheworst

Date posted: 5y

@Ben84 Same old stuff different day lol

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdaim Thanks for sharing!

Ben84

Date posted: 5y

I'm sorry that you've fallen through the cracks here. How can I help?

Ocd_istheworst

Date posted: 5y

I’ve been off of my OCD meds for about a year now or close to a year. I wanted to get off to give myself a chance to see if I can function on my own, and honestly because it took away my sex drive. Since coming off, I just can’t function or do the goals I want to accomplish in life. I feel like I’m wasting my life away already. I feel like I may need meds again just to get functioning again and achieve some life goals... but worried about the post side effects after again or fear of staying on forever and having bad side effects from that too.

Ben84

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdaim I just bookmarked this post so I can circle back to it tomorrow. My brain is shot for today I think ☺. I want to give you my best self. Have a good night and I'll talk to you tomorrow!

Ocd_istheworst

Date posted: 5y

@Ben84 Of course! Thank you Ben

Ben84

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdaim It looks like Alyosha has a good train of thought going, so I'm going to just let her go with it ☺. You're in good hands with her. If I see I can add something to the conversation, I will. I just want to apologize if you've been ignored on this app. I hope I get to know you better over time ☺!

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

Gotcha. I agree with the above poster. Propranolol is coincidentally really good for OCD, for example.

Godschild

Date posted: 5y

Do you know that your heavenly father loves you? His word says he came that we may have life more abundantly....it doesn't seem like your living life more abundantly and I'm sorry for that life is very hard, stressful and when we fix one thing another comes up, but life with Jesus is alot easier, yes you will still go through things but you will get through them better then you was before not worst.......... .The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. John 10:10‭-‬16 NIV Jesus never leaves us, people, friends, family at some point will fail us it's not their fault we are all only human and all make mistakes but Jesus will never fail us or leave us I struggled with depression and Jesus has set me free I pray in Jesus name he will set you free to seek his face James 4:8 says come near to God and he will come near to you The Bible says when you seek him with your whole heart you will find him ♥️

Ocd_istheworst

Date posted: 5y

I always seek the Lord! ?

ARTnotOCD

Date posted: 5y

Oh man; I feel ya on this. I don’t often get hung on possible side effects because I have autoimmune issues for which I have to take meds forever. But I have had battles with antidepressants and their side effects. Have you had a nice, lengthy chat with your doctor about meds? I know the prospect of trial and error is no fun at all, but there are so many different kinds of meds. And so many meds can ease symptoms for which they aren’t mainly intended. Example: antihistamines treat nausea and are sometimes used as sleeping aids. My point is that maybe you can find a balance between a med with far less side effects that could ease, if not in the same way as your SSRI, some OCD symptoms. It’s also good to have a doc that will talk with you about non-med help, like maybe a specific type of meditation or a certain activity that you can try adhering to as though it were prescription. Sending you good wishes!

Ocd_istheworst

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for taking the time to write this out! I sometimes feel like drs are very cold and robotic when I bring up mental health and they always say the same “seak professional help and maybe get on some meds.” And then they are on their way. I feel like just a number to them that needs fast fixing. I do hope to find a very good and caring pyciastrist eventually though that won’t rush me onto something because it has the ocd label on it. Having a certain activity as if it’s a prescription is honestly such a great idea- I need someone to hold me accountable to try XYZ and see how it can help me in time. Thanks for this feedback ?

ARTnotOCD

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdaim I know what you mean about doctors. Finding one who will really listen, consider every point of your discussion, and not race you out the door can be so hard. They do exist; Godspeed in finding one soon! I sometimes post here to hold myself accountable before I do something hard that will help me be better. Sometimes I find the right friend to start a healthy habit with, but if I can’t, there are other ways. And of course there’re habit apps to develop and track new, healthy behaviors.

avantika 🪻

Date posted: 18w

Rant...

I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.

Anonymous

Date posted: 13w

Is this a relapse or a delayed withdrawal reaction

I’ve been on Zoloft for 3 years almost for somatic ocd/anxiety/panic attacks and I slowly tapered myself off the correct way because I’ve been good for awhile and I felt like I was gaining weight from it. It’s been almost 2 months off the meds and NOW the last few days my anxiety has been so bad I’ve had no appetite and diarrhea and waves of panic is this me relapsing or a delayed reaction? Am I gonna have to be on meds my whole life because I really hope not :/ idk what to do I don’t wanna go back on my meds tho

ocdnomore1

Date posted: 10w

How abou you?

I suffer since 10 - 15 yrs from specific fears. It was years that my OCD constantly wanted to be checked if I have HIV or not. I had a lot of sex and I thought this is normal. But I ruminated in my backhead about and was testing like 5 - 10 times a year. After the test I felt everytime so relieved. In Corona I was addicted to porn and even I lost control and was watching pretty hard stuff. I was chatting with a girl and we fantasized about really disturbing things. I never wanna meet her and for me was sure it's just kinda onlinestuff. I was in a relationship 3 years now. And I lost fear of HIV. But then came Morality OCD, Real Event (this chat) and after some times POCD. This combination was knocking me out, I felt like the badest person on earth. I did everything wrong and searched for relief and reassurance. It put me to the point of suicidal. I never ever hurting somebody, but my brain was making me a monster. I had to quit the relationship because I just couldn't give her what she deserved. I was in a clinic for 3 months. And we tested medication with ERP (before I took escitalopram for years). Anafranil was working first, then too many side-effects. I tried even without meds, but was so depressed. Now on sertralin for 5 weeks, but only 2 weeks on therapeutic dose 200mg. And wow, now I really feel so confused in the brain. I feel like how big my OCD became. The specific thoughts are not anymore, BUT it sticks on EVERYTHING atm. It's delusional how it feels in the brain. I really hope so deep my brain makes finally a reset and I need to wait it out. I could live with OCD for a long time but the last 1-2 yrs it took absolutely everything. I remark that POCD doesn't stick anymore like before but my brain is now constructing a very bad future because of past mistakes (that I all discussed with family, friends for relief over and over and over again). So it's like my OCD is now Real Event (The sexchat) again. Anyone was on the same point in life?

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