- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I completely understand. I do the same thing ?. It’s so frustrating!
- Date posted
- 5y
First, that’s awesome you went ahead and got dressed and got into bed, etc., despite feeling very uncomfortable. Well done. Second, I think your husband is “normal” (doesn’t havencontamination issues), right? It sounds like he doesn’t wash his hands after touching things in your house. It’s likely he could be a good role model for what normal looks like, maybe? Whatcha think? Again, that was brave of you to get into bed when you still felt dirty. I understand the need for bed to be “clean zone.”
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you! No, my husband does not have contamination ocd but has been such a huge supporter of my journey. Even little things like that are tough, but it's all part of it
- Date posted
- 5y
Totally relate to this. And good job in doing an exposure
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you! Funny how they happen when you least expect it sometimes
- Date posted
- 5y
@ans87 Right? Doing exposures has been really challenging for me through the pandemic because of so much uncertainty. But it’s so important for us to try and keep our eyes on the prize. (Easier said that some...) You’re not alone. And seeing your post reminds me that I’m not alone either.
- Date posted
- 5y
@sara235 I completely agree about the pandemic. I've been so anxious about exposures because my dad is severely immunocompromised and even something as simple as the common cold could be devastating for him. So it definitely adds an extra level of anxiety. You're so right...the key is to keep moving forward. Even little victories are still victories and equates to progress in the right direction. This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to work through but this has been a really supportive community and I'm glad to have the opportunity to interact with encouraging people such as yourself who know exactly what I'm going through.
- Date posted
- 5y
In my mind, I handled the item (a package of soap) after being in my car touching the dirty steering wheel and so its covered in germs from money and other people
- Date posted
- 5y
I mean everyone’s OCD is different and there are so many ways it can present in self. And while ocd is much more debilitating than just washing hands after touching things, it can definitely be a symptom. For most people, their contamination ocd had been going on wayyyy before covid happened. So basically, ppl with ocd have a scary intrusive thought and their ocd tells them “if they don’t wash their hands or clean that down or do this ritual...so and so will happen.” Often times it’s more serious than just germs. It’s usually like “if I don’t clean this, my daughter will touch it and get sick and die” “if I don’t wash my hands enough than I’ll contaminate an older person” “I have to do this or something terrible will happen” or at least that’s what it feels like for me and of what I’ve heard from other ppl. I definitely don’t wanna discredit what you’re feeling, I just wanted to explain it more because I’ve seen a lot of people during this pandemic become more hyper aware of germs and jump quickly to thinking it’s OCD.
- Date posted
- 5y
My OCD is much more than this. This is just one particular instance. Believe me, I'd be grateful if a little extra handwashing was my biggest concern. I've been having my life ruined by ocd for 3 years now and I'm desperately trying and failing to overcome this.
- Date posted
- 5y
I am fully aware of what my ocd is and what it entails. Try 4 hour showers and still not feeling clean, or only using the bathroom once a day, or not having pants with a zipper that works because I'm convinced I'll contract a disease from clothes shopping, or eating only one meal a day when my husband gets home from work and makes it because handling groceries sends me into a washing and cleaning spiral that lasts hours.
- Date posted
- 5y
Also a lot of contamination OCD isn’t just germs. It often shows up as a fear of people places and things. Like I can’t let somebody who I don’t like, touch some thing of mine. I have to throw it out. Or like I can’t have certain furniture in my room because it’s contaminated with a bad thought or memory. Stuff like that.
- Date posted
- 5y
That should say “easier said than done”. Dang autocorrect
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
So I have pretty intense contamination OCD tied to Moral/Real event OCD, and I'm having a hard time with it because part of me does genuinely believe my logic checks out, and I was hoping to get some insight as to how to change the way I see it from other people who sort of get the mindset involved :). To sum it up as well as I can, I basically have a very souped-up version of the same item-event association most people have. For example, let's say you have a HORRIBLE, GOD AWFUL relationship with a person you can't even begin to think of favorably even years after the event. They had gotten you a stuffed animal for your anniversary at some point. You finally "escape" the relationship, and you throw away the stuffed animal. This is seen as a very normal and sound-of-mind action. Here's where things get tricky: For me, throwing out that stuffed animal wouldn't be enough. After all, it touched my table didn't it? And my table touched the floor right? And these things now carry that person's germs. And if I don't get rid of them, then they'll infect my future belongings. This logic isn't entirely flawed either, as even my OCD specialist said he believes in a "weaker version of what I do". How am I supposed to convince myself that what I'm believing is false when the literal psychologist confirmed that what I'm doing is just a more in-depth version of a normal experience? Ex: I have a new outfit, fresh and clean. I'm unbothered and happy, but I knick the side of a table. The table holds awful associations. I get this awful sense of dread. The clothes are now somewhat sullied, and I'll eventually have to give them away. I don't think I'm explaining this as well as I could, but I feel like those notions are there. Anyways, does anyone have any insight as to how to get my mind to genuinely believe that interacting with these things is "safe"?
- Date posted
- 25w
I’m hoping to get some feedback or hear if anyone else experiences similar things. Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of repetitive behaviors and thoughts that feel hard to control. Some of those things are: - I often get this uneasy feeling, and if I don’t do certain things in a specific way, it just doesn’t feel "just right." - I have to wash my hands until it feels "just right," and if I try not to, I get a thought that something bad will happen if I don’t. - I dislike using public bathrooms and even shared bathrooms at home. - When I shower, I have to wear socks before stepping on the floor. If my feet touch the ground, I feel like I have to shower again. - I get hyper-fixated on cuts, worrying about them getting infected, and I avoid touching water or anything else to prevent bacteria, even if I can’t cover them with a bandaid. - I can’t use dishes that have just been washed because I think they haven’t been cleaned properly. Instead, I use the ones that have already been dried and stored. When I type (like on emails or texts), I’ll fix what I write over and over, trying to make it "just right." - I have a strange dislike for certain numbers (7, 4, and 6) and feel uncomfortable around them. - I also have to follow routines, like making my bed in a certain way, and I can’t stop until everything is in the right order. - I get stuck on intrusive thoughts, like needing to wash my hands repeatedly or constantly checking things (like if I turned off the stove) because I fear something bad will happen if I don’t. - I’ll even repeat things in my head, like words or phrases, to make the "just right" feeling go away. - Sometimes, I treat inanimate objects like they have feelings and worry about hurting them, even though I know it's not real. - I’ve always felt like I’m being watched, which causes a lot of distress. There’s more, but these are some of the main things. I feel like these thoughts and behaviors control a lot of my day, and I just can’t stop them even when I know they’re kind of irrational. Does this sound like it could be signs of OCD, or is it something else? Or just normal behavior?
- Date posted
- 24w
(long read ahead, sorry lol) I’ve struggled with ocd for as far back as I can remember. I find that it gets worse with stress, and recently I’ve really been struggling with the contamination aspect of my ocd. I’m worried about it becoming unmanageable and negatively affecting my relationship with my partner. I’ve been living with my boyfriend since January (got kicked out of my house a week after I turned 18, it’s for the better though my house is toxic as hell) and I love living with him, but him and his family aren’t as concerned with cleaning as I am used to. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 2 years and there’s been many times throughout our relationship that his struggle with depression severely impacted his ability to keep up with cleaning his room. This is something I completely understand because I’ve struggled with it too so i’ve often helped him clean, and since i’ve moved in he’s done so much better at keeping up with cleaning (especially because he knows about my issues with clutter, mess, germs, etc.) He is really good at being accommodating towards my needs (not overly so, i’m aware that recovering includes accepting being uncomfortable), but it’s so hard for me to differentiate between what is the normal standard for cleanliness and hygiene and what’s excessive and unhealthy. I get so stressed out every single day over the thought of how dirty everything is. He has 3 cats that mainly stay in his room (he has a catio attached to his window/side of the house) and dogs which stay on the opposite side of the house and backyard, so there is fur everywhere constantly (i’m also allergic to cats but it’s not severe). I can’t stop thinking about how they are getting germs from their litter box all over everything. They also used to piss under his bed and in his closet when his room used to be a mess and it’s soaked into the floor so no matter what it stinks. It’s so hard to bring myself to walk around the house without slippers because my feet will get visibly dirty and my socks would get covered in hair. I always think about how my boyfriend sometimes walks on the rugs in the bathroom in shoes and all the germs that spreads. There’s so many more things but this is already getting long and I am shaking just thinking about how unclean everything is. I want to deep clean the entire house myself so I can get it to where It’s not like psychological torture everyday and it’s easier to maintain but I have been so busy I don’t have the time. I am worried about my boyfriend thinking I don’t like living with him or that I think that’s he’s dirty but i don’t. We have had several conversations about this and he’s reassured me that he knows none of my obsessive thoughts are personal but I still feel so bad about it. I would like to get therapy to help work through this but currently that is not an option for me. I know things will get better once I get through the main things in my life that are causing a lot of stress and therefore making my ocd flair up, but I need advice on what to do in the mean time. I keep having moments where all I can do is shake and cry and clean and I feel bad for my poor boyfriend who can only sit next to me and try to comfort me or help me clean. I also don’t want to make him worried that nothing he does is enough for me (i’ve also already talked to him about this and told him about how I can never even be clean enough for myself and that I don’t think he’s dirty). There’s been many times where I want to tell him to do things that I think might be my own unhealthy compulsions (ex. not wearing shoes in the house or in our room, not getting into bed with socks on, making sure to completely dry off before getting out the shower, put makeup and jewelry back where they belong right after using them, etc.) but i can’t tell if they’re reasonable or not and i try to not tell him unless it’s something that severely distresses me. I’m aware that everything is going to have germs no matter what and have been using NER’s to help manage my thought spirals/rumination. I know that I shouldn’t keep doing compulsions because it just offers temporary relief and makes the problem worse because nothing will ever be enough. I just feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless and exhausted and want some feedback.
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