raptors6
- Date posted
- 5y
AdamRoyaleAdamRoyale
- Date posted
- 5y
Because ocd takes what really means a lot to you and using what you world die for
Fighter1Fighter1
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes
catattakcatattak
- Date posted
- 5y
Same here. I was always a germaphobe but it really started coming out the first time I moved out in university. Now with the pandemic it's full blown. In my personal case, I wonder if it's that I started craving safety when I first moved out of my parents house and had no buffer of safety. I had to entirely support and care for my well being myself. When i first moved out i was constantly scared i would be hospitalized and my parents would be hours and hours away
Usern4meUsern4me
- Date posted
- 5y
Yooo, same thing happened to me broo, like almost 2 years ago coming January, I literally freaked out out of no where about one intrusive thought. It sent me into a extreme guilt panic attack that night, my world spiraled downards after that night. Literally 5 minutes before that thought i was totally fine, never knew what intrusive thoughts were, never had thoughts that i have now. I literally think a out that night every.single.day trying to find the answer about what happened to me. I would give up everything i have to go back to how i was before that night and know that it wouldn’t happen.
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 5y
Bro, same. I remember the turning point for me too. I always had OCD, even when I was a little kid, but it was manageable. I didn't understand what it was so I thought it was normal. Anyway, maybe 4 years ago was when a switch flipped and everything went downhill. Literally one bad day set the tone for the next 4+ years and I'd do anything to go back in time and change a couple of things.
Usern4meUsern4me
- Date posted
- 5y
I pray, but nothing changes. I start getting afraid to pray because i get thoughts like “ill answer your prayer if you act out an intrusive thoughts” and im like no dude wtf i dont want to do that. Then i just think wtf is wrong me, im going crazy cause its just thoughts. Why do i care about controlling them so much if they dont mean anything?
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 5y
Same here kinda! Looking back I could see some examples of religious OCD popping up here and there since I was 11 but it wasn’t very often and it didn’t hinder my life. It wasn’t until I was 23 that I had a random intrusive thought that was a breaking point and my brain changed ever since. It was extremely frustrating to have my life change like that (cried many times over it) and even now on my harder days I get reminded of that frustration, but what can I do? Just learn to adapt now and recover. It reminds me of my best friend, he was perfectly fine then one day something start changing with him, now he has Crohn’s disease. It completely changed his life, but now he has to adapt. It isn’t fair and it’s weird when it seems to just show up out of nowhere when we were gone, but I guess that’s life and the hand we’ve been dealt. Now we manage it
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 5y
*fine, not gone
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 5y
I have a similar story to yours. I had OCD when I was a little kid but I didn't know exactly what it was at the time and so I thought it was normal and everyone thought and acted the same way. As I got older (im in my 20s now), there were a few events that led to the big event that made my OCD uncontrollable. It's strange being able to tell almost the exact moment where you life changed and I keep thinking about how differently I'd do things if I could go back in time and have another chance
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 5y
@IcePenguin19 Yes I completely understand what you mean. A few months before my OCD onset I went on vacation with my friend but I had a lot of things going on that I didn’t thing would’ve affected me, such as that trip, moving to a new house with my family, getting the flu, etc. I guess it had taken a huge toll on me mentally because on that trip I had a major anxiety episode that I never had before where I couldn’t eat, sleep, or function. Just anxiety tho no OCD. It lasted a week and a half. Then it disappeared but I kept feeling like this anxiety was trying to creep back in for months. Then in August of last year I had another anxiety episode like the previous one which I think I was triggered by travel because my last anxiety episode happened on a trip and I had another one coming up. It was during this anxiety episode that that one intrusive thought appeared and OCD happened.
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 5y
@Evelyn4416 Yes! Mine started on a trip as well. A few months before, I finished cutting back on my meds and I was officially off of them in 2015. Then an event the next summer brought my OCD into overdrive and I haven't been able to get a handle on it whatsoever. I'm so sorry that happened to you, stressful events do some weird stuff to us
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 5y
@IcePenguin19 It’s just so weird because you never know that a certain event of decision just breaks your brain I guess? Like how do you prevent that if everything seems to be going normal? Brains are so complicated 🧐
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 5y
@Evelyn4416 They're so complicated! I would have never guessed that anything would have set me off like that, especially not the event that did it for me. It's so weird to think about and look back on. I know people who have had the same or very similar event happen with them and they didn't get any obsessions or compulsions with it. I keep asking myself "why me? Why did this happen to me? Why is my brain doing this to me when my friend had a similar situation happen to her?" It's confusing
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 5y
@IcePenguin19 I actually heard about a model called the Diathesis Stress Model which is a theory that tries to explain how a mental disorder comes about due to factors such as predispositional vulnerability and stress that comes about due to things in life, so it explains I think how certain circumstances can create sort of this “perfect storm” and create a mental illness, and also how some people can go through the same thing and not have anything happen to them but someone else it can creat a mental disorder. Super interesting stuff if you ever wanna look into that model!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
i'm confused, will we ever be like we used to?
catattakcatattak
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh man, that's the big question right there. I really hope so!
CrawfishCrawfish
- Date posted
- 5y
Usually it starts in your adulthood. Also....love the username haha
JbJb
- Date posted
- 5y
In here with you, thankfully got a diagnosis around 5 months after it started last year, but I’m having a hard time seeing life the same way since. It’s been tough.
Related posts
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 24w
Can I be born with ocd?
So basically I didn’t know till my hocd started. But looking back at my life I had ocd since I was a kid. Like 6-7 years old. First time happening I remember that when I was doing stuff many times I had to say something like a little poem in my head to stop it. Then I had this thing were if I felt my left foot touch the floor 5 times I had to do the touch the floor with my right foot too. Then I had something I guess contamination??? Basically after washing my hands I had a sensation on my hand like I could still “feel” the germs and I had to wash them again. Then I started having thoughts of my family members getting hurt. I had intrusive thoughts about me hurting my dog. Then I had this obsession that a guy who used to be in my school is looking for me to beat me up. And how it’s this obsession about my sexuality even tho I never doubted or questioned it before. Is that possible??? Like can you be born with it? I’m pretty sure both my parents have it too. At least at some level. Take my father for example he had an obsession that he was going to die the moment he turned 30.
Aldxma.steph
- Date posted
- 23w
Hello everyone I need some advice/insight please
I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis, but I will be asking my doctor tomorrow if I can get referred to a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis. The way I came to the conclusion that what I’m dealing with is OCD is because a month and a half ago I just started having the most horrible disturbing intrusive thoughts that go against all my values and beliefs and attacking the stuff/people I care about the most out of absolutely NOWHERE. Mind you, I have never had anything like this happen in my life. I feel that I have always been someone with a peaceful mind and one of the worst intrusive thoughts I can ever remember having before this happened, was “what happens if I cut my finger right now” while I was cutting fruit. That’s pretty much it. After this whole horrible intrusive thought spiral started happening I was so scared because I have never had such awful intrusive thoughts like this that were the complete opposite of me, it just quite literally started out of NOWHERE, and that’s what was so scary and terrifying. It was like my whole life got turned upside down because of this and I’ve been mainly isolating in my room, feeling so much anxiety and dread and guilt/shame. I get four of the same thoughts and one intrusive image repeating over and over again even if I would not try to think about them, and it caused me so much distress and anxiety that I would be so anxious and cry everyday just thinking how I could ever possibly think such horrible intrusive thoughts like that. It’s caused me insomnia which I’ve never dealt with before and I went three days in a row without being able to sleep no matter how hard I tried (even while taking melatonin). Other days I struggle so much to fall asleep due to the intrusive thoughts being much more present at nighttime, and even when taking melatonin that doesn’t do anything because of my mind being so active and having so much anxiety. Is this what they call an OCD flare up? After constantly looking up all the symptoms of ocd (the more and lesser known ones alike), I noticed there were some symptoms of it that I displayed in childhood when the ocd could’ve been more dormant or mild you could say (skin picking), because once again I have never had such horrible intrusive thoughts like this out of nowhere and constantly repeating in my mind that felt like they were out of my control. I noticed that these intrusive thoughts started on the second day of my menstruation when I was in a lot of pain and was feeling very emotional/stressed. One of the things I’ve heard a lot is that during the menstruation cycle is when ocd flares can happen more often due to the increase in hormones during that time, and I wonder if that’s what happened to me? I’m also overall such a big over thinker and have been for as long as I can remember. I also have had anxiety and depression since middle school as well. Any insight would be very much appreciated 😭
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 22w
How did your so-ocd feel when it started?
For me it was a weird intrusive thought and after that I slowly started developing anxiety and I felt a weird thing like I was losing my attraction to girls. Then I woke up one day in complete panic cuz it felt like I had lost feelings for girls suddenly and I started searching online how to know if you’re gay if sexuality changes suddenly and I took some gay tests or sexuality tests online. Chat gpt was a big thing back then too. That was before therapy and before I knew what ocd is.Can anyone relate?
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