raptors6
- Date posted
- 5y
AdamRoyaleAdamRoyale
- Date posted
- 5y
Because ocd takes what really means a lot to you and using what you world die for
Fighter1Fighter1
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes
catattakcatattak
- Date posted
- 5y
Same here. I was always a germaphobe but it really started coming out the first time I moved out in university. Now with the pandemic it's full blown. In my personal case, I wonder if it's that I started craving safety when I first moved out of my parents house and had no buffer of safety. I had to entirely support and care for my well being myself. When i first moved out i was constantly scared i would be hospitalized and my parents would be hours and hours away
Usern4meUsern4me
- Date posted
- 5y
Yooo, same thing happened to me broo, like almost 2 years ago coming January, I literally freaked out out of no where about one intrusive thought. It sent me into a extreme guilt panic attack that night, my world spiraled downards after that night. Literally 5 minutes before that thought i was totally fine, never knew what intrusive thoughts were, never had thoughts that i have now. I literally think a out that night every.single.day trying to find the answer about what happened to me. I would give up everything i have to go back to how i was before that night and know that it wouldn’t happen.
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 5y
Bro, same. I remember the turning point for me too. I always had OCD, even when I was a little kid, but it was manageable. I didn't understand what it was so I thought it was normal. Anyway, maybe 4 years ago was when a switch flipped and everything went downhill. Literally one bad day set the tone for the next 4+ years and I'd do anything to go back in time and change a couple of things.
Usern4meUsern4me
- Date posted
- 5y
I pray, but nothing changes. I start getting afraid to pray because i get thoughts like “ill answer your prayer if you act out an intrusive thoughts” and im like no dude wtf i dont want to do that. Then i just think wtf is wrong me, im going crazy cause its just thoughts. Why do i care about controlling them so much if they dont mean anything?
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 5y
Same here kinda! Looking back I could see some examples of religious OCD popping up here and there since I was 11 but it wasn’t very often and it didn’t hinder my life. It wasn’t until I was 23 that I had a random intrusive thought that was a breaking point and my brain changed ever since. It was extremely frustrating to have my life change like that (cried many times over it) and even now on my harder days I get reminded of that frustration, but what can I do? Just learn to adapt now and recover. It reminds me of my best friend, he was perfectly fine then one day something start changing with him, now he has Crohn’s disease. It completely changed his life, but now he has to adapt. It isn’t fair and it’s weird when it seems to just show up out of nowhere when we were gone, but I guess that’s life and the hand we’ve been dealt. Now we manage it
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 5y
*fine, not gone
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 5y
I have a similar story to yours. I had OCD when I was a little kid but I didn't know exactly what it was at the time and so I thought it was normal and everyone thought and acted the same way. As I got older (im in my 20s now), there were a few events that led to the big event that made my OCD uncontrollable. It's strange being able to tell almost the exact moment where you life changed and I keep thinking about how differently I'd do things if I could go back in time and have another chance
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 5y
@IcePenguin19 Yes I completely understand what you mean. A few months before my OCD onset I went on vacation with my friend but I had a lot of things going on that I didn’t thing would’ve affected me, such as that trip, moving to a new house with my family, getting the flu, etc. I guess it had taken a huge toll on me mentally because on that trip I had a major anxiety episode that I never had before where I couldn’t eat, sleep, or function. Just anxiety tho no OCD. It lasted a week and a half. Then it disappeared but I kept feeling like this anxiety was trying to creep back in for months. Then in August of last year I had another anxiety episode like the previous one which I think I was triggered by travel because my last anxiety episode happened on a trip and I had another one coming up. It was during this anxiety episode that that one intrusive thought appeared and OCD happened.
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 5y
@Evelyn4416 Yes! Mine started on a trip as well. A few months before, I finished cutting back on my meds and I was officially off of them in 2015. Then an event the next summer brought my OCD into overdrive and I haven't been able to get a handle on it whatsoever. I'm so sorry that happened to you, stressful events do some weird stuff to us
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 5y
@IcePenguin19 It’s just so weird because you never know that a certain event of decision just breaks your brain I guess? Like how do you prevent that if everything seems to be going normal? Brains are so complicated 🧐
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 5y
@Evelyn4416 They're so complicated! I would have never guessed that anything would have set me off like that, especially not the event that did it for me. It's so weird to think about and look back on. I know people who have had the same or very similar event happen with them and they didn't get any obsessions or compulsions with it. I keep asking myself "why me? Why did this happen to me? Why is my brain doing this to me when my friend had a similar situation happen to her?" It's confusing
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 5y
@IcePenguin19 I actually heard about a model called the Diathesis Stress Model which is a theory that tries to explain how a mental disorder comes about due to factors such as predispositional vulnerability and stress that comes about due to things in life, so it explains I think how certain circumstances can create sort of this “perfect storm” and create a mental illness, and also how some people can go through the same thing and not have anything happen to them but someone else it can creat a mental disorder. Super interesting stuff if you ever wanna look into that model!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
i'm confused, will we ever be like we used to?
catattakcatattak
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh man, that's the big question right there. I really hope so!
CrawfishCrawfish
- Date posted
- 5y
Usually it starts in your adulthood. Also....love the username haha
JbJb
- Date posted
- 5y
In here with you, thankfully got a diagnosis around 5 months after it started last year, but I’m having a hard time seeing life the same way since. It’s been tough.
Related posts
BeeBarf
- Date posted
- 25w
OCD as a teen TW suicide
WHY is it so bad?? who was gonna tell me 16 was just DREAD, my ocd has flared up worse than ever and i can’t go to therapy weekly anymore. im getting worse and i can’t do it. I just want to give up.
Summ3r_
- Date posted
- 23w
ocd about everything
I don’t even know where to start because there’s so much going on in my head and it feels like there’s so much evidence for every thought. Like my ocd feels like it doesn’t just have one specific theme it’s honestly every theme and it just switches throughout the day depending on the thoughts I have. This started all about a month ago, this whole ocd flare up. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd for about 3 years now and looking back on my childhood, I feel like I’ve had it for probably my entire life. My grandpa just recently died back in February and I feel like this whole ocd spiral is a result of dealing with grief especially because it didn’t even hit me for the whole month of April for some reason and things felt “normal”. But since this ocd flare up has started I’ve been constantly reviewing and revisiting my past, all my childhood memories and so many of them are terrifying which is weird because I never had a traumatic event hppen to me as a child. I feel like it’s always been “self-inflicted” trauma if that makes sense? My mind is telling me so many things related to so many topics like maybe I liked my family member as a kid and have just hid it to fit in with society? That my anxiety as a kid has caught up with me and I’m turning into a psychopath? That I’ve always been a creep and enjoyed looking at peoples privates or chests, etc but just ignored or allowed the thought this whole time. Also before this whole flare up I remember always feeling on autopilot and not really alive like everything I did I just felt numb about it. Which aids my ocd to tell me that these feelings are real and the thoughts are true and that I’m “waking up” or realizing or something. I haven’t felt such intense anxiety and distress since I was a kid and I didn’t even understand my own thoughts. It’s like I’m either hyper aware or totally unaware of what’s going on around me and it gets me thinking about my existence, personality, what my role in life is and like genuinely what I’m even doing in the moment like what’s the reason behind everything. I’m constantly questioning my intentions because I don’t know if they’re true or not and it’s like my ocd doesn’t even allow me to consider the thought it just jumps to conclusion. Like telling me I’m guilty before proven innocent. It honestly feels like so much at once to even simply call it ocd or anxiety because it feels like a crisis and any moment I could spiral and breakdown completely. Going to school everyday feeling like anytbing could trigger a panic attack at any moment makes me feel like I can’t be left alone with my thoughts. And like overall since I got down this rabbit hole, my first obsession was harm to myself, then it was harm to others specifically my family, then it was being a pervert or pedo, or being attracted or someone or something I shouldn’t be, which then makes me question my existence and who I am along with also being hyper aware of my facial movements like my eyebrows, nose, etc. Like why does ocd have to involve itself in every aspect of my life? It feels like there’s always something wrong that I need to fix.
Holl1
- Date posted
- 18w
OCD
I’ve been triggered so bad this week I’ve had bad anxiety and feel depression coming on. Last night I had a thought oh let’s plan it and I immediately thought why would I think that and started crying bad. I’ve had these thoughts for 7 months I really don’t know why I’m having these thoughts, if I knew I would work on it. Like people say has something happened in your life for you to have these thoughts and nothing has happened, it all started off from what if thoughts , like “what if I’m a psycho” because I saw this fb post saying introverts are more likely to become psychopaths and it all spiralled from there I started getting thoughts about harm towards others and myself. What do you think guys should I treat it like ocd or do you think there’s something seriously wrong with me.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond