raptors6
- Date posted
- 4y
AdamRoyaleAdamRoyale
- Date posted
- 4y
Because ocd takes what really means a lot to you and using what you world die for
Fighter1Fighter1
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes
catattakcatattak
- Date posted
- 4y
Same here. I was always a germaphobe but it really started coming out the first time I moved out in university. Now with the pandemic it's full blown. In my personal case, I wonder if it's that I started craving safety when I first moved out of my parents house and had no buffer of safety. I had to entirely support and care for my well being myself. When i first moved out i was constantly scared i would be hospitalized and my parents would be hours and hours away
Usern4meUsern4me
- Date posted
- 4y
Yooo, same thing happened to me broo, like almost 2 years ago coming January, I literally freaked out out of no where about one intrusive thought. It sent me into a extreme guilt panic attack that night, my world spiraled downards after that night. Literally 5 minutes before that thought i was totally fine, never knew what intrusive thoughts were, never had thoughts that i have now. I literally think a out that night every.single.day trying to find the answer about what happened to me. I would give up everything i have to go back to how i was before that night and know that it wouldn’t happen.
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 4y
Bro, same. I remember the turning point for me too. I always had OCD, even when I was a little kid, but it was manageable. I didn't understand what it was so I thought it was normal. Anyway, maybe 4 years ago was when a switch flipped and everything went downhill. Literally one bad day set the tone for the next 4+ years and I'd do anything to go back in time and change a couple of things.
Usern4meUsern4me
- Date posted
- 4y
I pray, but nothing changes. I start getting afraid to pray because i get thoughts like “ill answer your prayer if you act out an intrusive thoughts” and im like no dude wtf i dont want to do that. Then i just think wtf is wrong me, im going crazy cause its just thoughts. Why do i care about controlling them so much if they dont mean anything?
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 4y
Same here kinda! Looking back I could see some examples of religious OCD popping up here and there since I was 11 but it wasn’t very often and it didn’t hinder my life. It wasn’t until I was 23 that I had a random intrusive thought that was a breaking point and my brain changed ever since. It was extremely frustrating to have my life change like that (cried many times over it) and even now on my harder days I get reminded of that frustration, but what can I do? Just learn to adapt now and recover. It reminds me of my best friend, he was perfectly fine then one day something start changing with him, now he has Crohn’s disease. It completely changed his life, but now he has to adapt. It isn’t fair and it’s weird when it seems to just show up out of nowhere when we were gone, but I guess that’s life and the hand we’ve been dealt. Now we manage it
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 4y
*fine, not gone
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 4y
I have a similar story to yours. I had OCD when I was a little kid but I didn't know exactly what it was at the time and so I thought it was normal and everyone thought and acted the same way. As I got older (im in my 20s now), there were a few events that led to the big event that made my OCD uncontrollable. It's strange being able to tell almost the exact moment where you life changed and I keep thinking about how differently I'd do things if I could go back in time and have another chance
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 4y
@IcePenguin19 Yes I completely understand what you mean. A few months before my OCD onset I went on vacation with my friend but I had a lot of things going on that I didn’t thing would’ve affected me, such as that trip, moving to a new house with my family, getting the flu, etc. I guess it had taken a huge toll on me mentally because on that trip I had a major anxiety episode that I never had before where I couldn’t eat, sleep, or function. Just anxiety tho no OCD. It lasted a week and a half. Then it disappeared but I kept feeling like this anxiety was trying to creep back in for months. Then in August of last year I had another anxiety episode like the previous one which I think I was triggered by travel because my last anxiety episode happened on a trip and I had another one coming up. It was during this anxiety episode that that one intrusive thought appeared and OCD happened.
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 4y
@Evelyn4416 Yes! Mine started on a trip as well. A few months before, I finished cutting back on my meds and I was officially off of them in 2015. Then an event the next summer brought my OCD into overdrive and I haven't been able to get a handle on it whatsoever. I'm so sorry that happened to you, stressful events do some weird stuff to us
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 4y
@IcePenguin19 It’s just so weird because you never know that a certain event of decision just breaks your brain I guess? Like how do you prevent that if everything seems to be going normal? Brains are so complicated 🧐
IcePenguin19IcePenguin19
- Date posted
- 4y
@Evelyn4416 They're so complicated! I would have never guessed that anything would have set me off like that, especially not the event that did it for me. It's so weird to think about and look back on. I know people who have had the same or very similar event happen with them and they didn't get any obsessions or compulsions with it. I keep asking myself "why me? Why did this happen to me? Why is my brain doing this to me when my friend had a similar situation happen to her?" It's confusing
Evelyn4416Evelyn4416
- Date posted
- 4y
@IcePenguin19 I actually heard about a model called the Diathesis Stress Model which is a theory that tries to explain how a mental disorder comes about due to factors such as predispositional vulnerability and stress that comes about due to things in life, so it explains I think how certain circumstances can create sort of this “perfect storm” and create a mental illness, and also how some people can go through the same thing and not have anything happen to them but someone else it can creat a mental disorder. Super interesting stuff if you ever wanna look into that model!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
i'm confused, will we ever be like we used to?
catattakcatattak
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh man, that's the big question right there. I really hope so!
CrawfishCrawfish
- Date posted
- 4y
Usually it starts in your adulthood. Also....love the username haha
JbJb
- Date posted
- 4y
In here with you, thankfully got a diagnosis around 5 months after it started last year, but I’m having a hard time seeing life the same way since. It’s been tough.
Related posts
Jack03
- Date posted
- 23w
Is this OCD?
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
findingmyway1
- Date posted
- 20w
Never thought I would be writing this.
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
melaniebermn
- Date posted
- 16w
Confused about ocd
How to know if you actually have it or if I’m just making up the symptoms? I have a lot of intrusive thoughts constantly and even have a “theme” but it really surged after I search up what I was experiencing, but then again I search up a lot of what I experience and constantly have to recheck things. My parents say I’m normal but I know I’m not, (both of my siblings have adhd) I find it immensely hard to focus from turning 17-18. Please let me know what you think l! Thanks!
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