Is anyone else afraid of going crazy/developing schizophrenia/being institutionalized the rest of their life? At 16, I was hospitalized with steroid induced psychosis and was certain the (very mild) psychosis was permanent and there was no coming back. I slowly got better my psychotic symptoms/anxiety went away. I lived about 2-3 years anxiety free. Earlier this year I developed intrusive thoughts of killing/cutting myself under high stress and was sure it was a sign I was going crazy. I went in and out of the ER and nothing made the urges go away until I started ERP. 3 months ago I was diagnosed with OCD which explains a lot, but I can’t shake the feeling that this will develop into something worse. What if the psychosis is a part of my personality? What if my intrusive thoughts just get weirder and weirder and I lose touch with reality? Aren’t my intrusive thoughts psychotic in some way? Won’t this just become more degenerative the older I get (I’m 22 now)? I saw a TV special on near death experiences yesterday and have been kind of obsessing over it, like “what if I was a bad person in a past life and that’s why I’m suffering now?” Then I realize how crazy that sounds and it fuels my fear of going insane! No one in my family is psychotic, they just have OCD. How do I know I’m not truly delusional??? Does anyone else have this fear?

Wiseblood

Date posted: 6y

A lot of people with OCD fear they are going crazy. I’ve had this fear myself many times. One way to handle this is to accept that you are having these thoughts and then do what you would do anyway, without trying to make the thoughts go away. I know it is really hard.

Elina

Date posted: 6y

When I got intrusive (“crazy” content ocd thoughts) and I ended up avoiding things because of them, at times my family would get frustrated with me and say “this is crazy”. Paradoxically it reassured or helped me not to believe the content of my ICD thoughts because others found them “crazy”. Then at the beginning of my nursing career, I worked in a psych hospital and dealt with people with schizophrenia. At this point, I developed an OCD thought “what if the crazy intrusive thought I had last year was a delusion, and I’m in fact delusional?” In time I realized that that doubt in fact was the OCD. I might be offering reassurance here, but I can tell you from working with people with a delusional disorder or schizophrenia that they NEVER wonder if their thoughts are delusional! In fact, they spend a lot of time trying to convince people (including nurses) that what their thinking is true and that people should think like them. Trying to convince them that their beliefs are not based on reality in fact increases their anxiety - while it has the opposite effect on people with OCD! In fact, a good way to view it is that people with OCD are so sane - so aware of what is “sane” or “insane” that we panic as soon as we notice an “insane” thought - making it difficult to dismiss. People without OCD still get “crazy” thoughts running through their minds but they are not obsessed with wanting a “pure, clean, anxiety free mind” and don’t panic when weird thoughts pass through their mind, and so the thoughts pass in and out without much notice! So, just let the thoughts come, don’t flag them - they are meaningless no matter what the content!

bbgurl

Date posted: 6y

I have this fear so you are not alone! OCD can make you feel like you’re going crazy but it’s not. If you haven’t, maybe check out intrusivethoughts.org because it’s really helped me and given me comfort. When I found the website I cried because it validated all the different OCD symptoms I had. Also if you haven’t already, try CBT therapy. Much love ❤️

jmarie

Date posted: 6y

This sounds just like me !!! Sending love and know ThT you are so strong

spelamarela

Date posted: 25w

Is this normal for ocd?

Have you ever felt the need to hide knives because you’re scared someone might hurt you while you’re sleeping? Or have your thoughts ever tried to convince you that you have feelings for your family members? Maybe you feel like you need to tell your parents to “drive safe” every time they go somewhere, believing that it will prevent them from crashing, or that something bad will happen if you don’t. These are things I’ve experienced, but they didn’t last long, and because of that, I’m unsure if I actually have OCD, as these thoughts don’t happen frequently. I’m 17, so maybe it’s still developing, but I’m not sure. At one point, I even thought I might be a psychopath and would become a serial killer (i was analyzing my past and feelings but it went away quickly) When I was a kid, I was also scared I had a tumor and constantly needed reassurance from my parents that everything is okay, but it wasn’t as intense. Recently, I’ve been scared that ghosts would come or that a demon would possess me, or that if i open my eyes i will se my dead uncle (i was 16😂) which kept me from sleeping. Are these signs of OCD? Should I consider getting treatment? About three months ago, I had my first big obsession about possibly having OCD itself (i was scared of going crazy, of feeling like this forever, of not being perfect, of not having control), and now I’ve been struggling with HOCD for three months. But I’m scared that I don’t even have OCD, and that these thoughts might be true. It’s funny because just a few months ago, I was terrified of having OCD, but now I feel like I want to have it. I think a traumatic experience with weed might have made my OCD worse, but I’m not sure. What do you think? I also found out that my mom is also hiding knifes and that she was also obsession over sickness…

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Ocd/going crazy

Hi about a week ago I found out I have ocd and chronic anxiety! I tried zoloft and it was terrible for me. I also started therapy and I take hydroxyzine but I will discuss further medication with my doctor. My question is I have a huge fear that I'm going crazy, I am crazy, or schizophrenic to the point I'm so hyper aware of my surrounding ill look out the corner of my eye to make sure I'm nit seeing anything ill make sure to double check what I'm hearing and it's so draining! I get really scared and go into a panic and cry 😅 I need some reassurance has anyone felt this way my doctor and therapist explained it to me but I'm still very scared. I feel like one day I'll have a break and I won't be the same! I tried the grounding exercise and breathing it helps temporarily. I also cut out smoking weed and none of my family has this but I feel like I have it or ill develope it even though it's rare!

୨ৎ

Date posted: 19w

can ocd make you question your mental health?

i have been diagnosed with OCD & generalized anxiety disorder. for some reason, i’ve been very hyper aware of everything. like the way i talk, the way i see the world, how certain things sound/look/feel, and it’s very distressing. i feel like the hyper awareness makes me afraid of things? like for some reason, my mind attached to cartoons, and i was hyperfocusing on it, and got extremely scared, like scared of the cartoon for no reason? i’ve done this a lot, and i get scared i have psychosis or schizophrenia, or something that makes you afraid of things for no unknown reason. i feel so scared that this is my new normal…. im heartbroken. so many what if’s. did i just ruin my own life?? 💔

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