Hi, my name is Michelle, I’m 28 years old. I have generalized anxiety, panic attacks and harm OCD. My harm OCD is the worst thing in the world in my opinion. I constantly worry that some how I am going to like loose touch with reality and harm my children in violent ways or that I will eventually want to harm them because of my intrusive thoughts and anxiety. Sometimes I’m really scared to be around them when this happens. I love them more than anything in the world and I hate feeling this. I feel alone and that I’m literally going to go “crazy” and loose my children if I talk to a doctor about it.

You should get a therapist you specializes in OCD - they won’t take your kids away. OCD attaches to things we fear the most. You love your kids the most - so ocd will attach to this. If you don’t feel comfy talk to someone yet get the workbook Mindfulness workbook for ocd, which you can order on amazon. It has a lot of great tips to help start overcoming OCD - it covers all the themes including harm ocd. Your fear is just a theme.. a really shitty one but nonetheless it’s common and still just OCD doing its thing.

not go through it, but that i’m not alone

i am a babysitter and i used to fear that when i spotted a little bump or bruise on the baby i was watching that i had hurt her or grabbed her too tight when i know i never would or have every touched her. i felt like a monster but i am glad others go through this too.

Hello Michelle. I am 25. I cant imagine what it is like to have have children, you must be a strong person for having already that responsability. I can only say one thing: you are not alone, look for therapy and think that you will never ever hurt your children. Look for therapy if you can. If not, you can ask for advice here. We are here to help

Thank you guys. It is a really scary feeling when these fears pop up. I would rather deal with panic attacks than this. It makes me so sad and makes me feel like I am a horrible mother for having these intrusive thoughts. I feel like a malfunction in human nature.

It says nothing about you as a mother. You are a wonderful mom who cares enough about her kids to worry about harm. All this says is that you have OCD and your theme right now is harm. I too have found this one to be the most debilitating. Post partum OCD is more common than ppl think - esp if you are already just regular old OCD before kids. You need to try to not identify with the thoughts as you - they are thoughts - everyone has them - ocd makes them stick in your head. Journal about how you feel. Let it out. When you feel food journal about all the things you like about yourself as a mom. Start with “my kids are so important to me I will not allow OCD to come in and take over my mind. The thoughts can be there but I am going to go on being an awesome mom with or without them”

Feel good* not food lol

https://youtu.be/m3McK2AkfVQ

Thank you so much ? I will check it out.

Check her out - I find her technique easy to follow. But def consider a therapist and a naturopath ?