- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
My heart breaks for you reading this. I know your pain ❤️ I too suffer from pocd and I have a daughter. You are not alone! I strongly suggest seeking treatment through this app. Things can and will get better for you and you can lead a happy fulfilling life. Do not let ocd win and rob you from what’s most important to you! Ocd attacks what we love the most. Don’t let it win. You got this!
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for your words. To me, this is the worst ocd possible... Even though Im not certain I have it.. But if what I wrote or some of it is what you endure everyday, you are a true warrior.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Hollow99 I would have to agree. Ocd is ocd, but I feel like this is the worst theme to suffer with as well.
- Date posted
- 4y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 4y
I would have to agree with you, I feel like it is the absolute worst type of ocd to have as well.
- Date posted
- 4y
Def sounds like pedophile ocd. This is treatable! I would recommend finding a therapist as soon as possible.
- Date posted
- 4y
If its pocd, God why would you do the worst to me? Associating something with my niece.. Anything would be better than that.. I will seek help sooner or later.. Though here in Portugal, healthcare is not the best regarding these topics.. I need to be sure what I have.. I need to be sure I will never hurt any child!
- Date posted
- 4y
i truly suggest that u seek the help of either a psychologist or therapy or find the treatment right for u.this sound like pedophile ocd or pure ocd.you can get throught this.find the right therapist for u and pls stay strong.lets not let ocd take over us<33
- Date posted
- 4y
I agree that this has to be one of the worse OCD themes that exist. (They can all be debilitating). I went through hell with POCD myself. The thought also came out of nowhere while I was talking with my sister on the phone. This was many years ago before anyone seem to know what the hell it was and several well meaning professionals actually made the situation worse since they were not trained in the ways of OCD. Hang in there. I know the whole groinal response thing sucks as well but that went away too. I still have intrusive thoughts with this theme but nothing like it was. I educated myself and forums like this really help. However, reassurance only feeds the beast and the sooner you learn this the better. I once heard OCD described as having an extremely neurotic friend with you all the time. Sometimes I just let him talk and talk and don't give him the time of day. Good luck to you. I've never had professional ERP, but I've heard nothing but terrific things about it. I know I'll eventually have to seek it out myself.
- Date posted
- 4y
Where its says baby, was supposed to be bad.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you all for your words and time. I will have to seek help sooner than I thought.. Im awake for more than 24h and about 6 hours ago, when I fall asleep I wake up after 30min having the thoughts and doubting im a pedo, accepting I am and cry, then I deny it.. All this in my head.. I cant live like this, I slept 1hour max only.. This will destroy me. @toni1 Yes, it helped.. But while I found some reassurance when reading about it, it still pains me.. I don't want these thoughts, I didn't ask for them.. Why would I have them? The only explanation I can think of without being certain its ocd is that Im evil.. That my whole life was a lie, I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm just tired of this... so tired...
- Date posted
- 4y
This is totally normal for someone to go through with ocd. I felt the same way. My ocd started bc I was convinced I was a psychopath. I was so scared that I had lied to everyone I love. I thought that I never cared about any of them and I would never have true feelings toward anyone. It almost broke me. I know you don’t want these thoughts. Nobody wants their ocd thoughts. They’re intrusive and upsetting and weird. I certainly never wanted thoughts that I was a psychopath and you didn’t want thoughts that you’re a pedophile. I understand. BUT, I made it out of this and you will too. The thoughts are just thoughts. They are not the same thing as taking action. They do not define you. They do not control you. They are just strings of words that exist in your brain. You can do this
- Date posted
- 4y
@grace22 It feels that whatever I have, is targeting what is most precious. And thats what breaks me the most.. Its the one thing I didn't want.. With all respect to people with cancer and I can only imagine their pain, I rather have that than these thoughts, anything over these thoughts.. I would give anything.. They are literally consuming every minute of every day in my life, to the point where I just want to be in my bed and don't do anything else do the rest of my life... I want my old life back.. Back then I only worried I was no one, that no one cared about me and that I will end up alone.. That doesn't look bad at all now..
- Date posted
- 2y
hi! are you ok?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
This might be asking for reassurance but I’m at a point I’m not sure if this is ocd and who better to ask than you guys. Also want to mention I have been to a psychologist who diagnosed me with ocd and I’ve tried to seek therapy through NOCD but had a bad experience so I’m just looking for an opinion I’ll take with a grain of salt. I’ve been through bouts of pocd that I got through but now it’s morphed into something that feels so different. It’s like harm ocd and pocd together and it revolves around my daughter. Before this happened I was a loving mother who valued my kid more than anything. Now this is happening and it feels so sinister. I’m getting urges to do something bad and I get these feelings like I want to do that and it’s like my brain gets foggy and my values slip away and I feel like I could do it. But then I get a moment of clarity and I’m like wait a minute I’ve never hurt anyone in my life nor have I ever thought about it and this is my child what is happening. But then I get that foggy brain again and it’s like I can’t see her as my child. I try to sit with it and it’s like I get this adrenaline rush and feel like I have to do it. But I know I don’t want to do that, but then it’s like trying to make me want to want to. I’m not sure if I’m just lacking insight and clarity because I’m overwhelmed with the groinals, urges, thoughts and feelings but I just keep obsessing over the fact that death is my only way out. I don’t understand what happened to me. It feels like this demonic oppression and I don’t know how to get through this one or if this is still something I can get through because it might not be ocd. I try to go with the thoughts and feelings and say yeah maybe, maybe not, or yeah I’m going to do that but it seems to fuel the feelings. I feel like I’m teetering between the person I was and this evil awful person who has no regard for others. I don’t want to be around my daughter and I’m just angry all the time. The fear and anxiety used to be something I relied on and I feel none of that now. I used to be able to say “well no matter what I feel or think I can control my actions” and now it feels like I cannot control my actions but I’ve never hurt anyone before. Someone please give it to me straight and tell me if you think this might not be ocd.
- Date posted
- 20w
Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?
- Date posted
- 19w
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
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