So does giving your child a bath and/or changing his/her diaper trigger anyone else? It’s such a common thing I feel like every parent has to do. How is one not triggered? I don’t get it. You’re literally touching their genitals...how does it not bother you?

I hate pOCD. I struggle with urges, is it normal to get urges with pOCD? My therapist said I should hold my toddler, change his diaper, etc. But I feel like I am white knuckling it through those. I also struggle after I change a diaper or give a bath that the only reason I cleaned an area was due to desire. This sucks so bad.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted - I have been doing moderately well. My biggest obsession were false memory obsessions but since getting over that, I can see however my mind trying to grab many different things to obsess on. It has been mainly around intent. When changing my kids or wiping them when they decide they would rather not use the toilet, my mind is so much more attentive to where my hands are and what my thoughts are. And I recently(last night) had a thought that I knew would instantly latch on to me last night when I was wiping my son. And it had to with just gross stuff where I’d wipe him and my mind would connect his butt with like a typical female butt and I’d see it move because I’m wiping him and I’d get these weird thoughts / phrases in my head. And than I had to wipe again because I mean it was everywhere lol. But now I’m like did I wipe him again because of thought and I wanted to see his butt like move? Like I know that in this moment that seems just like junk to me but I can’t help to wonder what was my true intent or whatever in that moment? I know because this has happened a lot these last few weeks, almost like a new theme or way of obsessing. Because I get very guilty over this stuff and I just want to have a normal interaction where I can wipe my kid and not have a thought or even try to fight the thought and than question my intent. I’m trying to be like well that was weird, let’s move on. Anyone know if this is common? I am just trying to see if I need to label this as junk mail?

Lately my ocd is latching onto my children. In my opinion, for me, this is the most painful and most debilitating theme of ocd. My daughter asked me to help her wash and rinse the shampoo from her hair while she was in the shower because she has thick hair and sometimes she has trouble shampooing and rinsing it all out. A normal, common task for me. At some point I caught a glimpse of her private area and my ocd immediately tried to make me believe I looked intentionally. I know I didn’t and I know I do not think of her or any child in that way but now my ocd has me questioning myself. I was just doing what I always do so I don’t remember at what point I saw it. Was I reaching for and looking down for the shampoo when I saw it or was I reaching up to her hair and saw it as I looked up? Did I look due to just normal human tendency to look where we know we’re not supposed to and if that’s the case does that make me horrible? I’m driving myself insane trying to prove I do NOT feel or think that way about her. I don’t want to live if this is how my brain works. Ocd is evil and this is the hardest kind of intrusive thought to get past. 😩