- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Sounds like you have a lot of very reasonable explanations (a global pandemic, long term quarantining, worsening ocd, stress, depression, exhaustion) and then an illogical conclusion (ie “it must not be any of that. I’m probably asexual and need to break up with my bf.”) sounds like some ocd to me! Maybe a little ROCD and even some SOOCD type themes here. It’s okay to have a drop in libido for awhile. That’s normal and happens to most people from time to time but especially under stress. Don’t let your ocd take that simple fact and run with it to every terrible reason it can find.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for this. I hate it that I know all these reasonable explanations but when I'm anxious it's like they disappear. I've had soocd and tocd so it makes sense but it's hard to see the context before jumping to "conclusions". I'll try my best not to fall into mental compulsions.
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- 4y
A low sex drive is especially common in OCD. A lot of people with SO-OCD feel a drop in libido, it doesn’t really mean anything more than a chemical imbalance- like OCD.
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- 4y
i can relate dont have a boyfriend but the asexual theme has popped up for me from time to time
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- 4y
I feel this way esp with my POCD thoughts. He has a high sex drive with all that’s been going on with me I have no sexual energy /drive....nothing. I worry if I ever will again because I don’t even wanna look at anything sexual . We did have intercourse yesterday but it was me wanting to please him . I had the thoughts in my head the whole time not as bad but still there. I worry if I’ll always have them in my head and if and when I do get better I’d they’ll pop up randomly. I used to never worry about these things. Now idk. I worry that my Bf will get tired of my non existent sex drive. If I’m attracted to him at all. Etc etc. Its rough. 😔😔
- Date posted
- 4y
I get you. You should talk to him, I did and it helps if he understands what you're going through. He used to think that I didn't want to have sex cause I don't find him attractive anymore when it's really because I just don't feel to, but it has nothing to do with him (I think) but when he says that then I think omg maybe it IS him and not me maybe I don't like him anymore or maybe I'm asexual or or or. It is hard to understand that sex drive fluctuates and specially in quarantine it can be non-existent. Once you stop responding to the thoughts, you'll feel better. Sometimes they'll pop up again, but you have to keep in mind that is normal that they reappear and not give them importance. I hope you feel better soon :)
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- 4y
I believe my depression also killed my sex drive bc I’ve been feeling like I’m not sexually attracted to my partner. When I had sex before I felt completely off afterwards and had a panic attack. I’ve been depressed for 4 months now
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- 4y
Last year I was depressed and didn't feel any emotion at all. I try to had sex and it was awfull. I cried. I recommend you see a therapist and have sex when you want to and not because you "have to". Hope you feel better soon <3
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- 4y
I believe I am depressed too. I felt the depression/severe depression before but now I feel almost numb and neutral to it all
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- 4y
Yeah at first I wanted to cry all the time and then I just felt indifferent towards everything and numb. That's the worst. That's when my therapist told me to see a psychiatrist and I started taking meds. It helped me a lot
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- 4y
Sorry if this is a rude question but what does asexual mean?
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- 4y
it means you don’t feel sexual attraction.
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- 4y
I don't know exactly but I think it is when you don't feel sexually attraction towards anyone but you can feel attraction just not interested in sex
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- 4y
Thank you 🙂
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- 4y
What medication are u taking? I’ve taken most SSRI’s . It’s hard for me to say what worked best for OCD thoughts and depression.
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- 4y
I'm taking Luvox for a year now and it helps me a lot but in quarantine I had a relapse of ocd but besides of that I feel better
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I struggle with rocd, and a big intrusive thought that I have is that I’m no longer in love with my partner. I am going through a depression right now, and I am struggling to feel any kind of passion towards anything at the moment. I am withdrawing from the people I love because I just feel like I want to be alone. When I’m with people I just feel exhausted by it. I guess my question is, has anyone ever felt like this from depression? Does it take feelings of love and attraction away? I can’t tell if this is my ocd or depression or a combination of both. But it’s starting to impact my relationship which makes me panic because losing it is my worst fear.
- Date posted
- 13w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
- Date posted
- 11w
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
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