- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hey. Of all the things to have as an ocd theme, in my opinion, this is the roughest. I want to tell you, not from a position of reassurance, but as an objective fact, that their are TONS of people in the pocd community that talk about what it feels like and the symptoms they have and you fit every single description. A few things I would suggest: 1. Give up trying to prove to yourself if its true or not. You will never ever prove it for certain. The first step to getting better is to give up this pointless search. 2. Talk to your counselor about it dear god. Assuming they are familiar with OCD and intrusive thoughts, they probably won't even flinch. You gotta have someone to talk to about this stuff because going through it alone is terrifying. 3. A pedophile is someone whose primary sexual preference is for children, and who would enjoy carrying out sexual acts on them. Now, don't use this to prove or disprove anything. Don't jump to a "but what if thats me and I just deny it!?" I just mean it might help in realizing that simply having intrusive thoughts or vague memories of maybe once thinking a kid was attractive doesn't make you a pedophile. 4. Be kind to yourself. You're not a bad person. You're struggling with some really scary crap. Wishing you peace
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hey, completely understand the struggle. I'm gonna give you the most honest answer I can- you're not capable of knowing at the moment. You (and I) have a disease that makes us chronic doubters. If I told you what the difference was, you'd be able to find or manifest evidence of the contrary to scare yourself. The first step is truly to give up the fight, the need to know and understand.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I'm recovering by practicing unconditional self acceptance. I really really reccomend reading the book "How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything". Learn to accept the worst case scenario. This isn't the same as agreeing its true, its just making peace. Once that happens, and you truly "drop the rope" as it were, the anxiety's grip loosens. I still have some troubles but overall I'm heading in a positive direction. Best of luck
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Look, I could convince myself I'm attracted to my dog if I tried (She's real cute). That doesn't make it real. The more you search for a distinction, the more distorted and unsure you become, like when you say a word repeatedly until it sounds foreign. Give up the struggle, because this crap is like quick sand. The way out is to stop fighting.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yeah it all makes sense. It’s this thing about accepting the worst possible outcome as opposed to the worst probable outcome. Or put my simply just getting off the fucking bus and refuse to get back on. Strange condition
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’ve been diagnosed with POCD and this is exactly how I felt. Your Counselor will know how to take you through ocd
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Really? Thank you for responding because sometimes I feel like I’m making it up or something. It’s so draining!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you, that’s some really good advice!??
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Anonk is very wise. I ask myself the same thing and it sends me down the rabbit hole rather quickly.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I have this! But with teenagers! Is that the same thing?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hey. I have the same thing.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Same anxiety and symptoms, just different age group. Also, teenagers are post pubescent, so that would not be considered a technical fear of pedophelia, but within the realm of OCD it tends to fall under the same name.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Polythenepam, would you say you are recovered or still recovering by ‘dropping the rope’. I’ve tried hard to push this through to @anonk but was t sure as I had seen more posts asking questions about if others had had the same (which is the reassurance seeking with no pay off).
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Really good advice. Sorry to jump on the thread here, how do I know what sexual preference / attraction even is? As opposed to looking at a kid and thinking yep attracted. Don’t have to answer if too triggering :( thanks just really struggling atm
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you so much polythenepam. So good
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Crazy!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I hate it but I’m really going to try taking your advice Polythenepam, starting with giving up the fight, I feel like that’s going to be the hardest step but I’ll try, thank you!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- False Memory OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I feel like a really terrible person right now, I keep replaying this, and no matter what I can’t remember what happened, it’s like my brain is purposely not letting me think about it. Without wasting any more time, I’ll get into it. Basically, I was at Walmart, and looking at cards with My Dad, I saw anime ones, took pictures of them for my sister, even ones that were anime kids, because I did my best to ignore it, so I looked at a Hunter x Hunter card, I stared at the black haired kid, being all like “ I’m glad I’m not having any thoughts about this, I’m glad I’m having normal thoughts and not thinking anything” I felt happy, then as soon as I looked at killua (white haired kid), everything collapsed. I don’t know what happened, my brain won’t let me remember. But I’ll give bits and pieces. I think that I had false attraction, and something in my head, said “oh, I wouldn’t mind being attracted.” “He is attractive, and I’m attracted to him.” “I remember a girl thinking he is attractive and he is” “ It’s not wrong to be attracted” “ I don’t care about his age” .. something along the lines of that, and now I’m panicking super hard, because I’m worried if I said those things, I feel like I ruined my life that I’m a pe//do and deserve nothing, idk what to do, I feel terrible… I remember when I was having the intrusive thoughts, I was panicking and was worrying, but it kept playing out, and I kept hearing things talk, it was drawn out too long, that now I feel convinced that I was saying those things, I tested it too, and I can confirm that I didn’t say that, but why am I still not convinced? I know I wouldn’t say those things, I was hoping the complete opposite would happen. My brain kept making me feel like it wasn’t wrong and it was okay. Maybe that’s why I’m so convinced I did that. I’m just spiraling super bad right now, I don’t know what to do or what to think, I don’t know if I said that or not… even if I did test it, I genuinely just feel like I said it, and I wanted it, because I still feel uncertain, I still feel like I said it, part of me just wants to be like oh I did and so I can move on, not because I agree with it, I just don’t know what else to do… I’m really scared.
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