coolpop
- Date posted
- 4y
kmecrozkmecroz
- Date posted
- 4y
I have harm ocd and feel this in my soul. I'm going through NOCD counseling now and have good and bad days. My harm ocd is extreme I'm terrified I'm going to murder my family. So ERP is about me learning to accept that it could happen. I could go crazy and hurt them and I don't like thinking like that because I know I wouldn't. But in order to beat OCD my counselor says I need to come to terms with the fact of uncertainty and I could do it. Highly unlikely- but he says I need to tell myself not impossible. By me saying that to myself I'm desensitising myself to the thought and realizing that thought isn't dangerous. At the end of the day we're not in control of our thoughts, not in control of our feelings- but we are in control of our actions and beliefs. So always remember that. Keep up the good fight! It gets better - I promise!!
coolpopcoolpop
- Date posted
- 4y
thanks for sharing , none of this is easy.... 💕
MikeeeMikeee
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for this
kmecrozkmecroz
- Date posted
- 4y
@coolpop Anytime! Just know you're not alone. You have a purpose - use your testimony to help others and know there is an end to this. It may be a long road - but you'll get there. Just always have hope and remember who you are. :)
pink pink
- Date posted
- 4y
You are brave! Keep up the good work!
mirbrachmirbrach
- Date posted
- 4y
Me too especially about wanting a new brain!
pink pink
- Date posted
- 4y
Lol well we are stuck with the one we have.
coolpopcoolpop
- Date posted
- 4y
@pink 😂😂
pink pink
- Date posted
- 4y
Seriously, guys harm ocd is almost never talked about. People have it but are very ashamed of it. It’s so sad. We suffer internally way too much. We need to turn things around and break the stigma on harm ocd.
coolpopcoolpop
- Date posted
- 4y
I hear you.... it's very hard... yeah let's get the stigma out of the equation 👍
MikeeeMikeee
- Date posted
- 4y
People need to know more about it it shouldn’t be left out
pink pink
- Date posted
- 4y
Most of the time I would like a new brain
coolpopcoolpop
- Date posted
- 4y
Snapping and becoming a murder, suicide... yours?
coolpopcoolpop
- Date posted
- 4y
And POCD, which is the most horrific thing ever 😭
pink pink
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s hard... I know
pink pink
- Date posted
- 4y
Yup I feel you. It’s a challenging thing to have.
Soccerchick16Soccerchick16
- Date posted
- 4y
Everyday.
pink pink
- Date posted
- 4y
We internalize these emotions, feelings, intrusive thoughts, urges etc... we suffer when we do that....
pink pink
- Date posted
- 4y
What are your harm ocd thoughts?
pink pink
- Date posted
- 4y
Trigger- Me- fear of loosing control and becoming this psycho killer. Afraid of loosing touch with my caring feelings- fear of maybe I like these thoughts- fear of harming someone I love or care about- friends- family- loved one... fear of ending my life because I don’t want to commit a crime... fear of acting out my harm ocd thoughts and getting locked up forever and loosing my freedom. Fear of being alone and hated in the process.
coolpopcoolpop
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks, I like the honesty... not an easy thing to do... 💕
pink pink
- Date posted
- 4y
@coolpop No it’s not! It’s not easy
coolpopcoolpop
- Date posted
- 4y
Anyone every have the false memory, what I did knock some down, what If I did rape someone?
coolpopcoolpop
- Date posted
- 4y
What if*
MikeeeMikeee
- Date posted
- 4y
Yea it’s hard bro sometimes I don’t even wanna get up cause it hurts
coolpopcoolpop
- Date posted
- 4y
It's so tormenting..... cos you are so on edge, will someone find out, will I be belived... the shame, the guilt. All the while knowing logically that if that was remotely true... you wouldn't be alive or it wouldn't be a secret.... Which is wen I realised that "confession" is a compution.... how can you be guilty for something you didnt not would ever do ..... 😫😭😫
coolpopcoolpop
- Date posted
- 4y
When I say that.... I mean the "urge" to confess.... is the compulsion.....
asdfghjasdfghj
- Date posted
- 4y
I scared Im gonna accidentally kill myself. Which makes me wanna kill myself. Which gives me urges to kill myself so it all will stop. So the killing of myself is both an obsession, a compulsion, and an actual thought cause OCD is the worst. Plus I dont get close to kids cause maybe I will kill them to by accident because I go crazy.
kmecrozkmecroz
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey! So my counselor through NOCD taught me that we cannot control our thoughts or feelings but we do control our beliefs and values. OCD is a monster and lying to you. You wouldn't let a theif into your house - so why let one in your mind and rob you of your joy? Also- another analogy my counselor used to show me thoughts aren't dangerous. Think of an author writing a murder mystery. They spend MONTHS AND MONTHS thinking like a killer to write that side of the story. Does that make them more likely to kill someone? No. I know what you mean about going crazy and doing it - I fear that too - but we just have to roll our eyes at it and say not today.
kmecrozkmecroz
- Date posted
- 4y
We also control our actions! Meant to type that. :)
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 20w
Questions
There are times my harm ocd has me convinced that my feelings of self harm or suicide and harm are real and that any moment I could commit the act on myself or my family. Is there anyone who can chime in on this. I feel like all the time I want to leave run away or avoid my family because of these thoughts. Like I shouldn’t be around my children and I don’t trust myself.
flowerpetals
- Date posted
- 16w
frustrating
harm ocd is the bane of my existence. people always tell me that if you have anxiety over a thought, that’s ocd. and these intrusive thoughts cause me IMMENSE anxiety. i’m constantly looking for reasons why i’m not what these thoughts tell me i am. but WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?? it’s like i can’t reassure myself that this isn’t me and i don’t want to do it, but i also look for reasons why it’s not me. my brain is constantly telling me “if you don’t act on this, you’ll never feel free”. WHAT EVEN IS THAT?? and why does it feel real?? anytime i think about getting therapy, i constantly think that it’s not going to help me positively but help me realize i am this person. i just wish someone with harm ocd could get into my brain, understand me, and tell me everything will be okay. i wish someone in recovery could tell me that they’ve been where i am, felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts, and got through it when they thought they wouldn’t. i feel like i’m drowning in it. another thing is i think about how my mom knows a surface level understanding to this form of my ocd, but if she knew it all, i’m scared she’d never look at me the same. i’m scared she’d be scared of me and think i need psychiatric help. IM TERRIFIED.
joshuadrennen
- Date posted
- 15w
struggling with harm OCD
i’m back in a cycle of having harm related OCD thoughts and feelings and urges and i get these episodes where it’s like i’m disassociating and feel like i’m about to snap and go crazy violent. does anyone else experience this? i need help
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond