- Username
- lolashewas
- Date posted
- 3y ago
This might be true for some people and might be untrue for others. Who knows, but who cares🤷🏽♂️. You aren’t in those peoples lives or thoughts so we can never get a 100% answer. We all have to get to a point where we can read other people’s posts and it does not cause anxiety or make us ruminate. This could be a really good exposure for you to start working on! If I would have read this two weeks ago. You probably would have given me really bad anxiety and made me second guess myself , but reading it today it really did nothing.
Good for you! I wish I was at your spot in my recovery! I need to calm down, this did freak me out. I have had people comment and say maybe you’re bi and that has made it all the worse for my recovery.
@wellwellwell Honestly it just depends on the day. Let these posts freak you out, but sit with it until it goes down at least half way. Maybe you are bi, but maybe not (I am not trying to trigger you). WHO CARES. You have to work on accepting the uncertainty of all of it. I don’t know half the time myself.
@Anonymous I know, and I’m trying. But I’m married and leading on a man you married terrifies me. I’m so close to him that the thought of deceiving both him and myself is just so horrifying
@wellwellwell I do not want to reassure you and provide you relief, but everything you’re saying is what it’s like having HOCD. HOCD and ROCD come hand and hand.
@Anonymous I know, but unlike other people on here I respond more to sexual images of women vs men. I don’t know if it’s just from looking at porn when I was little or what but it’s terrifying. It truly is. And seeing people say they don’t think everyone on here has HOCD is even worse
I am a heterosexual man and I am feel like I respond to more sexual images of men (which I HATE). I was addicted to porn as well and it really messed me up. I have stopped watching porn for about three months now and it was helped me with the intrusive images. I also get UNWANTED groinal reponses, which are shitty. I have felt like my attraction for women isn’t as strong or even there half the time. Not everyone’s HOCD is the exact same. We are all different people and just because you don’t have the EXACT feelings or stories of other people does not mean you have OCD. Your brain does not know your sexual orientation BTW. Sometimes your brain just likes the rush of something taboo.
Wow, yeah that sounds almost exactly like what I’m going through. I don’t understand this. I don’t want it at all and it makes me cry and I love men but I just can’t let it go
@wellwellwell Have you been in a relationship with HOCD? I want to find a way to be happy even with this
@wellwellwell I don’t even know if it’s about “letting go”. It’s more of accepting the thoughts and nothing more than just thoughts. I used to try A LOT because of it. But my therapist told me I’m giving my thoughts a lot of weight. Think of it as a train that’s passing you by with thoughts. Let the train pass by, but don’t actually hop on it. Don’t be hard on yourself for having these thoughts. Be more kind to yourself. If one of your friends came to you with the same issue, would you be hard on your friend or kind? I’m sure the answer is kind , so be more kind to yourself.
I struggle with this theme, and I also have had those same thoughts. OCD will latch onto anything!!! Especially about your theme and anything that could create any bit of doubt about it. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. We can get through it!
I have this problem too. I genuinely believe people read what I wrote and think I’m actually gay. And to be honest I wouldn’t blame them.
I’m the person who you commented on their post and asked if I was bi because I’m turned on by naked women more than naked men😞 so this sucks but I’m trying really hard. I’m married
@wellwellwell i don’t think you’re bi, i really don’t i know that’s reassurance but I don’t.
@lolashewas None of this is your fault, I have been letting my ocd go unchecked. You’re fine, I want you to fight your ocd too! I let a bad thought turn into a bad day. I hope you’re feeling better❤️
It’s ridiculous how much people discussing HOCD bothers me. I know it’s a form of OCD, which I understand is out of the person’s control. I know mental illness is not a choice. I have OCD, so I get it. I get invasive thoughts about being hetero, so it makes sense that it works the other way too. I know the people who have HOCD aren’t necessarily homophobic. It does kind of make me feel like my sexuality is a worst case scenario, though. I can’t help but think “people are as afraid of being like me, as I am of heart attacks”. Idk. It just almost feels like people are saying “oh no what if I’m gay” “don’t worry, you’re straight. You’re okay because you’re straight” (which I know isn’t the case). It could just be because of the lack of positivity I’ve seen surrounding the queer community lately, though. I’m not trying to call out or invalidate people with HOCD though, I know it’s something that they don’t enjoy, and it’s something they suffer with just as much as I suffer with my OCD. Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest
Can someone explain to me the difference between HOCD and questioning your sexuality? I see several posts regarding fears about having romantic feelings towards the same sex and I wonder if that really means someone is gay and afraid to admit it to themselves? I’m not asking to be offensive, I really just don’t understand that form of OCD.
I've noticed myself becoming so hypervigilant and on the look out for triggers or anything that could possibly trigger me. Sometimes when walking on rhe streets I'd always see things that trigger me (e.g. rainbow or women dressed like tomboy, avoiding circles or spheres) and sometimes because I get so hypervigilant I might have the same anxious reaction to the opposite sex (which is what I was always attracted to) and then it leads to a spiral of 'wait why did I react anxious or feel anxiety when seeing that guy or seeing something that looked like a p***is). For example, today i was in the kitchen and was feeling super hypervigilant when picking up bowls or any utensils that in my head were sphere shaped or in some crazy way resembled a woman's chest area (i can't even say the word sometimes). My mum was holding a chilli (which could potentially or in my head be associated with a male private part) but because I was so hyperaware before, I had the same anxious reaction to when I turned and saw the chilli. And that made me question myself even more like 'what if i don't want to be with a man? Or what if this meant that i was gay/bi?' Also with checking sometimes are people sometimes unable to imagine? (Like checking if feeling aroused by imagining a woman naked) - sometimes it works to imagine it and i feel nausea but there are times where i can't imagine it and it scares me like what if it's true or i liked it this whole time?
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