maybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
Corie Corie
- Date posted
- 4y
Just remember you are not alone in this! There are many who have felt or feel the same way (Like I was just having these exact thoughts). I struggle with the feelings of discomfort going with uncertainty and living my life, it makes me feel like I’m lying, constantly feeling like I know I’m gay and wasting my bf’s time, but I’m still going towards my values even through all the doubt and discomfort. We just have to keep pushing towards uncertainty, not figuring it out, and even accepting that they are there.
maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah seriously my biggest fears are totally hurting my husband or never getting to experience a fulfilling relationship with him! Thanks for your response, this is just so sucky
Corie Corie
- Date posted
- 4y
@maybethistime Same, I think my core fear is living a lie and mainly leaving my boyfriend since we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Ocd attacks my relationship a lot too and my fears tend to always go back to me “having to leave him”
maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
@Corie Same here! I get bad cheating ocd about that too
maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s just getting worse like I feel like I would be aroused by touching a woman’s breasts bc I get a response down there but it makes me so uncomfortable and sad
Corie Corie
- Date posted
- 4y
Just have to sit with the discomfort, not reassure, check, or test! It’s all very uncomfortable and convincing but we can all persevere.
maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
@Corie You’re right, once the checking starts it just gets insane. I keep thinking up these weird scenarios and feeling like I’m aroused it’s a mess. Thank you for the encouragement
Corie Corie
- Date posted
- 4y
Even when I get arousal from lesbians or girls it just makes me more sad than anxious, although that tends to come a bit later, like it’s the “inevitable truth I have to accept.” Some days I can accept that I was aroused and other days are harder. As long as we make progress in the right direction, it can get better.
maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 4y
@Corie I just hate black and white thinking with OCD, I just feel like this can’t be true and I can’t also love my husband. I get sad too, like I’ll have to leave him and I’m in denial
Corie Corie
- Date posted
- 4y
@maybethistime It is very black and white thinking, that’s why OCD is what it is
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 4y
I am currently panicking about this. I think (I’m not sure if it’s true or not) I thought 5-6 years ago I was aroused by my friend. But at the time I had no idea what being aroused meant or was like? And I don’t remember thinking anything of it. And today I have suddenly thought of it again and I’m panicking that I was turned on and I’m thinking it meant something that I also always knew but denied or something? But I don’t think I’ve ever been attracted to women or my best friend ... but now I feel like I can’t even be friends with her and I just want to die
coccoroccococcorocco
- Date posted
- 4y
People can be aroused by all sorts of things, but it doesn’t mean they would actually want to do it themselves. Sexuality tends to be fluid so try not to overanalyze past arousal. I know it’s easier said than done. You are not alone <3
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 4y
Wow we are all experiencing the same exact thing guys
Related posts
Mt2019
- Date posted
- 20w
Question about HOCD
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 16w
Hocd vs actually gay (my opinion)
So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.
Anonymousssssss
- Date posted
- 12w
Can someone please offer words of advice :(
Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared
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