- Username
- maybethistime
- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Username
- Corie Corie
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Just remember you are not alone in this! There are many who have felt or feel the same way (Like I was just having these exact thoughts). I struggle with the feelings of discomfort going with uncertainty and living my life, it makes me feel like I’m lying, constantly feeling like I know I’m gay and wasting my bf’s time, but I’m still going towards my values even through all the doubt and discomfort. We just have to keep pushing towards uncertainty, not figuring it out, and even accepting that they are there.
- Username
- maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yeah seriously my biggest fears are totally hurting my husband or never getting to experience a fulfilling relationship with him! Thanks for your response, this is just so sucky
- Username
- Corie Corie
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@maybethistime Same, I think my core fear is living a lie and mainly leaving my boyfriend since we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Ocd attacks my relationship a lot too and my fears tend to always go back to me “having to leave him”
- Username
- maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Corie Same here! I get bad cheating ocd about that too
- Username
- maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It’s just getting worse like I feel like I would be aroused by touching a woman’s breasts bc I get a response down there but it makes me so uncomfortable and sad
- Username
- Corie Corie
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Just have to sit with the discomfort, not reassure, check, or test! It’s all very uncomfortable and convincing but we can all persevere.
- Username
- maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Corie You’re right, once the checking starts it just gets insane. I keep thinking up these weird scenarios and feeling like I’m aroused it’s a mess. Thank you for the encouragement
- Username
- Corie Corie
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Even when I get arousal from lesbians or girls it just makes me more sad than anxious, although that tends to come a bit later, like it’s the “inevitable truth I have to accept.” Some days I can accept that I was aroused and other days are harder. As long as we make progress in the right direction, it can get better.
- Username
- maybethistimemaybethistime
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Corie I just hate black and white thinking with OCD, I just feel like this can’t be true and I can’t also love my husband. I get sad too, like I’ll have to leave him and I’m in denial
- Username
- Corie Corie
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@maybethistime It is very black and white thinking, that’s why OCD is what it is
- Username
- JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I am currently panicking about this. I think (I’m not sure if it’s true or not) I thought 5-6 years ago I was aroused by my friend. But at the time I had no idea what being aroused meant or was like? And I don’t remember thinking anything of it. And today I have suddenly thought of it again and I’m panicking that I was turned on and I’m thinking it meant something that I also always knew but denied or something? But I don’t think I’ve ever been attracted to women or my best friend ... but now I feel like I can’t even be friends with her and I just want to die
- Username
- coccoroccococcorocco
- Date posted
- 3y ago
People can be aroused by all sorts of things, but it doesn’t mean they would actually want to do it themselves. Sexuality tends to be fluid so try not to overanalyze past arousal. I know it’s easier said than done. You are not alone <3
- Username
- JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Wow we are all experiencing the same exact thing guys
Related posts
- Username
- idont241
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Have I always been like this and I am just now realizing it??
- Username
- Idk
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I feel like I’m starting to deny my sexuality. Before this I never really thought about girls that way. Now I am and it terrifies me. It feels like I just don’t wanna accept that I’m lesbian. I’m so damn lost. It feels like I know I’m lesbian. But I just can’t be. Anyone feel this way? Probably reassurance but if any of you think I am or it seems like I am please tell me.
- Username
- mb123
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hi :) I have always struggled with intrusive sexual thoughts since i was a kid. (probably due to sexual abuse) And in my teen years I spent a considerable amount of time fighting unwanted romantic feelings toward my girl friends. This year though, I think I’m coming to terms with the fact that I might be gay. I just never feel this way toward men. And it feels like all of my efforts to keep those unwanted gay thoughts away growing up didn’t work. I feel like it’s my fault somehow. I’m not sure if this makes sense, but I guess i’m trying to work on accepting these thoughts of mine.
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