- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
You can have both of these desires and they don’t have to conflict. People who get married don’t spend the rest of their lives never wanting anyone/anything else. But they choose not to pursue those things and to commit to their partners instead. It’s very natural to want to try new things, be curious, and have fantasies while also being a commited spouse.
- Date posted
- 4y
but would that mean i’m bisexual? like not for reassurance i’m just asking wouldn’t that mean that that DOES mean something? or are you saying the exact opposite.
- Date posted
- 4y
@holley It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Maybe it means you’re bi. Or maybe it means you’re just open to new experiences and curious. It’s not a litmus test!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Ocd can be very confusing! It has made me so confused and fearful of all kinds of things before. Try to accept the uncertainty and move on.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Easier said than done I know but its probably the best thing
- Date posted
- 4y
You keep ruminating about it! That’s not going to help. Enjoy your boyfriend and being with him.
- Date posted
- 4y
Have you communicated with your boyfriend about OCD? I have tried to tell my ex-S.O's about my OCD and have deeply regretted it because their lack of understanding resulted in a lot of gossip and people actually thinking and talking about how gay I am and how in denial I am. I still struggle with HOCD symptoms and have accepted sexual orientation as a spectrum to some degree, but if I was just gay I would have known it years ago and be out about it. However, I can't blame my ex's for reacting to my seeking reassurance which may have been a bizzare, confusing and unfair experience for them. It is difficult enough to find professional psychogists who are educated about OCD and its many subtypes. I have literally talked to an OCD psychologist with whom I had communicated I was experiencing HOCD, and he asked me if "when watching porn, do you notice men more?" Which is just not a reliable index of assessing actual attraction and led me to think he may not have been knowledgeable about HOCD. Perhaps if you carefully bring the conversation up, maybe using the stories in this app as a reference and research indicating the various subtypes of OCD, you could have this conversation with your SO and he would react with more understanding than my ex's did when I was checking for reassurance without providing any research. It is infuriating how little knowledge people tend to have about OCD, even psychologists, and when there are so many sufferers. Thinking you're gay one day and literally writing "I am gay and in denial and I know it" is not an actual indication of true sexual orientation, but if you talk to people who don't know anything about this, they might cause a lot of unwitting harm or react in a way that is extremely stigmatizing and reflective of their ignorance despite their best intentions.
- Date posted
- 4y
It is totally possible to be bi or at least "heteroflexible" and still have Sexual Orientation OCD. If you feel comfortable having this conversation with your partner it might be worthwhile, but I would recommend approaching the topic carefully and have some evidence-based resources at hand and a sample of the plethora of anecdotes with people with the same kinds of experiences so he might be less likely to react negatively to something he doesn't understand.
- Date posted
- 4y
It's pretty common for straight people to have experimented with the same sex once or more than once. However you identify is up to you. Just don't feel compelled to have same sex experimentation to satisfy an OCD obsession to find your "true" sexual orientation, because you may not have any clearer of an answer.
- Date posted
- 4y
i know i don’t want that now. but in the future idk...
- Date posted
- 4y
Communication is important so I would really stress trying to communicate with your partner about the possibility of having that attraction or that you are thinking that you might have same sex attraction. This happens to non OCD people too surprisingly commonly but it is distinct with OCD in the sense that it is much more difficult to not feel identified with your thoughts and have distress about it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad
- Relationship OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- Students with OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
I keep seeing tiktoks of things that are like ‘things I did as a lesbian in denial’ or ‘things my not so straight straight friend said’ and I feel like I might relate to some!! But idk!! It’s kinda triggering me. I’ve had this 5 years on and off now so when it comes back the whole well you’ve had it so long you must be gay comes up. I have been with my boyfriend almost 6 years and i love him so much I don’t want to be gay (nothing weong with it - I’m just not and don’t want to be!)
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