i honestly believe that i would want to experiment with a girl. even tho i don’t want to now and i want my boyfriend and want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him...

You can have both of these desires and they don’t have to conflict. People who get married don’t spend the rest of their lives never wanting anyone/anything else. But they choose not to pursue those things and to commit to their partners instead. It’s very natural to want to try new things, be curious, and have fantasies while also being a commited spouse.

Ocd can be very confusing! It has made me so confused and fearful of all kinds of things before. Try to accept the uncertainty and move on.

Easier said than done I know but its probably the best thing

You keep ruminating about it! That’s not going to help. Enjoy your boyfriend and being with him.

Have you communicated with your boyfriend about OCD? I have tried to tell my ex-S.O's about my OCD and have deeply regretted it because their lack of understanding resulted in a lot of gossip and people actually thinking and talking about how gay I am and how in denial I am. I still struggle with HOCD symptoms and have accepted sexual orientation as a spectrum to some degree, but if I was just gay I would have known it years ago and be out about it. However, I can't blame my ex's for reacting to my seeking reassurance which may have been a bizzare, confusing and unfair experience for them. It is difficult enough to find professional psychogists who are educated about OCD and its many subtypes. I have literally talked to an OCD psychologist with whom I had communicated I was experiencing HOCD, and he asked me if "when watching porn, do you notice men more?" Which is just not a reliable index of assessing actual attraction and led me to think he may not have been knowledgeable about HOCD. Perhaps if you carefully bring the conversation up, maybe using the stories in this app as a reference and research indicating the various subtypes of OCD, you could have this conversation with your SO and he would react with more understanding than my ex's did when I was checking for reassurance without providing any research. It is infuriating how little knowledge people tend to have about OCD, even psychologists, and when there are so many sufferers. Thinking you're gay one day and literally writing "I am gay and in denial and I know it" is not an actual indication of true sexual orientation, but if you talk to people who don't know anything about this, they might cause a lot of unwitting harm or react in a way that is extremely stigmatizing and reflective of their ignorance despite their best intentions.

It is totally possible to be bi or at least "heteroflexible" and still have Sexual Orientation OCD. If you feel comfortable having this conversation with your partner it might be worthwhile, but I would recommend approaching the topic carefully and have some evidence-based resources at hand and a sample of the plethora of anecdotes with people with the same kinds of experiences so he might be less likely to react negatively to something he doesn't understand.

It's pretty common for straight people to have experimented with the same sex once or more than once. However you identify is up to you. Just don't feel compelled to have same sex experimentation to satisfy an OCD obsession to find your "true" sexual orientation, because you may not have any clearer of an answer.

Communication is important so I would really stress trying to communicate with your partner about the possibility of having that attraction or that you are thinking that you might have same sex attraction. This happens to non OCD people too surprisingly commonly but it is distinct with OCD in the sense that it is much more difficult to not feel identified with your thoughts and have distress about it.