- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
My OCD tells me that a lot of times I'm pretty much not able to make mistakes especially with things like these because they either don't happen to other people or it's my fear of it as a whole. Then sometimes I feel like I'm using OCD as an excuse but why else would I be constantly thinking about this every single day it goes against what I care about the most. Hey, do you have a fear of going to jail because of OCD?
- Date posted
- 4y
I had an ocd fear of going to jail but for something completely different not for this theme. For this its more like it’s attacking my identity and becoming the worst thing I can imagine.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Isabella I understand. Do you still have that fear or no? I have pretty bad real event stuff that happened in the past and ones that are pretty much identical to yours. We can talk about it on IG if you want.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Not anymore, but I used to get constant images and flashes of going to jail because I used drugs once. Ig it went away because I was able to live with the uncertainty but I constantly compulsively googled about cases where people were arrested for things that were similar to what I did and it made it so much worse.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Isabella Yeah the googling doesn't make it any better to be honest. Even though occasionally I still do it and end up doing a lot of it when I begin it. It doesn't make anything better. Sitting with the uncertainty is something I can sometimes do and other times not. I can't move on from these things because of the same that comes with it and my fear that never bugs off: The fear of doing something illegal, making mistakes, or being in jail. All of those fears are still here even if all my friends tell me what I did actually wasn't illegal or at the very least really not that unethical
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Ruminating also doesn't help me
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s so traumatizing to think back on because I feel like all the comments under it were from actual predators and that makes me one too...
- Date posted
- 4y
is she an ocd specialist? x
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- 4y
Yes on here
- Date posted
- 4y
@Isabella omg then she'll know all about pocd! because that is what this is. Tell her and she'll help you. We've all done silly things, thats what makes us human. ESPECIALLY when we're young!
- Date posted
- 4y
@jen Ty :) I’ll try to explain it better to her next time. I just feel awful rn. I have to expose myself to a script I wrote about this 30x a day.
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel this too to be honest. There were horrible videos I remember watching when I was a minor myself but didn't even take into account of what I was actually watching. And I'm pretty sure there were predatory comments for me too. It's really fucking shitty overall and I try my best to just repress it but can't. And they were cartoons for me too. Unfortunately in most countries that shit is actually legal... It's really good that you can talk to your therapist about this too. I also really didn't think I'd find someone that went through it like I did too.. This doesn't make you a bad person if you just saw it at the time and didn't go back to it. I'm really trying to stop with all sexual things in my life but these thoughts and events are really hard to deal with
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- Date posted
- 22w
I'm 17 years old I struggle with addiction I have a problem when I masterbate I have intrusive thoughts idk if I think them I'm so scared also back then I know when I was younger I looked at obscure things hentai all that my idk what to do even I feel like I'm a monster or im a bad person I need help I feel so distraught I feel like I can't live life to the fullest anymore even from last year I looked at content that was animated but it had a character in it that was underage I felt so ashamed and felt like a monster I had a compulsion to check it only to find out they are not around my age range idk what to do I probably sound like a freak I'm sorry I'm always trying to replay my memory and try to remember my intention and what I was doing how I come across how I was doing a action yk all that
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- Date posted
- 20w
Is this pocd? OCD?? Please no judgement!! This has been on going for years and I want the thoughts to stop and enjoy anime again :( not the other way around I used to love pride from an anime fmab (full metal alchemist brotherhood) when I was 14-15. And I feel so guilty because he took the form of a kid cause he’s a villain who can disguise himself and possess. I never liked the kid but more personality. I don’t think I NEVER EVER had romantic attraction to the body. I feel so gross talking about this as I’m older now and know what this is. The thing is Pride the homunculus character is ancient years old but his disguise is 10 years old and they have the same height but Pride is literally just a shadow with eyes and mouths in in the general lore of the anime. I do not like him now. As I got older I stopped liking him. Not in a sxual way even at all but just in general but my brain is making me think I like him or I used to in just a sxual way or ftish type of way but I DO NOT!! Idc I just feel disgusting. And I don’t want to have him as a favorite character anymore. How can I explain this to a therapist?! Any advice? No judgement please.
- Date posted
- 10w
*tmi warning* I'm so worried im a P. Ive been crying daily unable to do anything else but ruminate over my real events. When i was 14 (before ocd) i was watching adult content and it was censored. The woman had similar features like hair and skin color as my niece. I remember noticing that and saying "huh i guess I'll imagine that as the adult version of my niece" and I did and after i was finished i moved on and didnt think anything was wrong. I dont know if i ever thought about that again? Its so blurry ocd keeps saying i did it again in a different time but i dont remember its too blurry and its scaring me so badly! I didnt even remember this till like literally last week and i wanted to die! Im 20 for context. When I remembered i immediately broke down in tears. I vaguely rmemeber this other thought i had of her when self pleasuring when I was 16??? I think it was a testing thought out of distress? But im not sure at all! It was extremely vague image and unrealistic i dont think I liked it but maybe i did?! Im so distressed its like i remmeber 2 versions of this particular event which is why I think its ocd false memories from there. Ive been ruminating and spiraling for almost a week. I keep crying i havent ate well at all in days ive been honestly dehydrating myself and i cannot sleep. I feel like a monster. I did the mistake of researching last night and kept comparing myself to the "criteria" of those sickos and like I felt so distressed. I also have been asking ai for hours on end everyday. I feel so distressed im literally crying rn as i write this i cant calm down i feel like this sick individual even tho I dont even like thinking of that at all i dont think I meant ill intent when i was a teen but its killing me inside. I would NEVER harm anyone nor want to or plan to, deep down i know I would never act out in those evil ways but like whats killing me is what if im attracted?! Is this a sign?! Am i one of those people?! Am i attracted to my niece bc of those 2 maybe even 3(??)thoughts years ago?! Did i mean ill intent?! Am I an actual danger?! Am I a monster??? I have so many urges to confess to my mom im so scared what this all means or could mean. I feel so alone and scared. Like legit whenever i get intrusive thoughts about gross stuff i feel disgusted and anxious and push it away. Those thoughts do not bring me pleasure whatsoever but this real event is making me doubt my own identity 😔
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