- Username
- Isabella
- Date posted
- 3y ago
My OCD tells me that a lot of times I'm pretty much not able to make mistakes especially with things like these because they either don't happen to other people or it's my fear of it as a whole. Then sometimes I feel like I'm using OCD as an excuse but why else would I be constantly thinking about this every single day it goes against what I care about the most. Hey, do you have a fear of going to jail because of OCD?
I had an ocd fear of going to jail but for something completely different not for this theme. For this its more like it’s attacking my identity and becoming the worst thing I can imagine.
@Isabella I understand. Do you still have that fear or no? I have pretty bad real event stuff that happened in the past and ones that are pretty much identical to yours. We can talk about it on IG if you want.
@BigGip09 Not anymore, but I used to get constant images and flashes of going to jail because I used drugs once. Ig it went away because I was able to live with the uncertainty but I constantly compulsively googled about cases where people were arrested for things that were similar to what I did and it made it so much worse.
@Isabella Yeah the googling doesn't make it any better to be honest. Even though occasionally I still do it and end up doing a lot of it when I begin it. It doesn't make anything better. Sitting with the uncertainty is something I can sometimes do and other times not. I can't move on from these things because of the same that comes with it and my fear that never bugs off: The fear of doing something illegal, making mistakes, or being in jail. All of those fears are still here even if all my friends tell me what I did actually wasn't illegal or at the very least really not that unethical
@BigGip09 Ruminating also doesn't help me
It’s so traumatizing to think back on because I feel like all the comments under it were from actual predators and that makes me one too...
is she an ocd specialist? x
Yes on here
@Isabella omg then she'll know all about pocd! because that is what this is. Tell her and she'll help you. We've all done silly things, thats what makes us human. ESPECIALLY when we're young!
@jen Ty :) I’ll try to explain it better to her next time. I just feel awful rn. I have to expose myself to a script I wrote about this 30x a day.
I feel this too to be honest. There were horrible videos I remember watching when I was a minor myself but didn't even take into account of what I was actually watching. And I'm pretty sure there were predatory comments for me too. It's really fucking shitty overall and I try my best to just repress it but can't. And they were cartoons for me too. Unfortunately in most countries that shit is actually legal... It's really good that you can talk to your therapist about this too. I also really didn't think I'd find someone that went through it like I did too.. This doesn't make you a bad person if you just saw it at the time and didn't go back to it. I'm really trying to stop with all sexual things in my life but these thoughts and events are really hard to deal with
Hey so I’m an 18 year old college student I’ve had ocd for a long time but I never wanted to admit this aspect of it as part of it and I still don’t. That’s why I won’t say it cause I’ll just end up crying again. I don’t even want to post about it cause this would just make the problem real. I know I’m not sexually attracted to them but my mind wants to trick me and I end up getting confused on which is rlly me, like the other aspects of my ocd. It spiked ig when someone sent me a meme and it was fine but at the end of it it showed a child being shown in a sexual way which was suppose to I guess be funny but it wasn’t rlly funny to me at all and got uncomfortable and the pocd thoughts came in hard and I had such a bad panic attack and then I felt the need to go back and check to see what I was feeling and went to the video the next day after avoiding it to see which after reading the threads here is I guess a big no no? I know I’m not sexually attracted but my mind is playing these games and confuses me and I’m so scared to even talk to my therapist about it or ask people for help cause what if they think I’m a pedophile? Children genuinely make me happy and I have a motherly instinct to care for them but my mind turns it into something darker and I know I don’t think of these kids sexually but it’s like I have the power to?And that freaks me out so much and it won’t leave me alone I don’t know what to do I know I’m not one but my mind is tricking me and it’s freaking me out and if my mind says it could be what if other people think I am no one I trust will even understand idk what to do I just needed to put this somewhere to vent
Hey guys, I'm really scared, someone PLEASE reply (POCD 18+) Okay, so tonight I was beginning to feel better about my obsessions and began to feel like maybe I was actually making progress. But I feel terrified rn, I'm scared because I used to watch hentai and cartoon stuff when I was younger, I'm 19, I would look up certain anime stuff or cartoons, but I started feeling happy that I probably stopped when I was 15. But now I'm terrified, I used to watch the tv show Big Mouth on Netflix but stopped after I started feeling uncomfortable with the show since it is really graphic. But I'm scared that I may have watched porn about the show while I was watching it. I don't really have strong memories about it but I'm terrified because that would have been when I was 16. I'm so scared, my friend said that "worst-case scenario, say you did, it's just a drawing at the end of the day" but I'm really scared. I'm really grossed out, I don't know what to do, I was just starting to maybe feel better but I don't even know anymore, I'm terrified, what do you guys think???
I feel terrible. The porn I watched from ages 12-16 was disgusting, I feel like some sick sexual deviant. I don’t have the courage to tell my therapist what exactly I watched out of fear that they’ll confirm that it’s not ocd and my fears are true. I did tell them talk a little bit about my obsession with porn and we did erp for it but my fear is still so strong. I’ve seen people obsess about the same thing but I always feel like what I did was way worse.. :( I just don’t want to feel this way anymore when I’m doing good my fears seem so irrational and stupid but when it gets bad it feels very real and that my life is over.
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