As I’m getting older I am starting to find it harder and harder to be happy. I get anxious and obsessive over everything. I feel disconnected from my childhood friends and find myself pickier/anxious when trying to make new ones. Nothing in my life feels good enough. I don’t really know who I am anymore, and I don’t know if knowing I have OCD for sure is going to help or just make me more sad.

It can be really confusing. I feel totally disconnected from who I was when I was a kid. And I'm even afraid to make new friends or have relationships. I know what you're going through. ?

Same. I used to be the life of the party. All the kids used to want to hang out with me and they invited me to their parties. As I moved away from my hometown to a different city, I ended up alone, rejected and bullied. The depression that ensued along with the OCD was debilitating. For a while I thought I was good, after I finished with school, but it all recently caught up to me.

That’s similar to me. Ever since I graduated I have this awful feeling all the time. The shock of not being a student with a built-in social life anymore has not gone away and it makes me feel very alone. It makes me wonder if I was ever really happy to begin with. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling that way and have been bullied. No one deserves that.

Really, no one does. I'm glad you at least had some friends in school. I only had one or two friends. The rest of my experiences were abysmal. I try not to remember the negative times. The past is in the past and revisiting it is equivalent to digging through a messy and rat and bat infested attic. But OCD makes it way too hard.

Perhaps you have been, since I don't know your entire history. But it's normal to go through this. This was your routine and your life for a long time. It's only normal to feel this way since a big part of your life is gone. Have you tried reaching out to your friends from college?

I'm sort of an exception. I was glad I finished with school and my memories are far from good. But I did feel a little bit like that with college. Have you thought about going back for a masters or maybe see if you can become a teacher/professor?

I’m not really interested :/ I’m sorry your memories weren’t great. I hope you can have good experiences moving forward ?

I hope that we all will one day.

I've been through this pattern as well. I think building a career and diving into your new or old passions is a great way to find new routine/purpose. Start slowly creating small habits everyday, OCD thrives off emptiness and lack of routine.

Glad I’m not alone! I’m just, not the same extremely happy kid I was and that is upsetting. Meeting new people is scary now.

For me, the memories are happy (for the most part). So now, looking back makes me very sad because I’m worried nothing will be as good again. Nothing is the same anymore and I don’t know where I have to go or what I have to do to get that feeling back. It feels pretty hopeless.

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

23. What about you?

27. I felt the same way after graduating/at 23. It's almost normal and expected. How long has this bothered you?

Basically since graduating from college. My dad says I’ve been way too hard on myself since then.

Wow, that’s a good point, about the routine. Thank you. I actually live with my college roommate! Which is good. But I miss the atmosphere, the routine, encouragement from teachers, feeling useful, feeling excited and hopeful about the future. It was just such an innocent time. You go to school/college for like, 17 years of your life! And nobody talks about how thrown off it can be to suddenly not be in school anymore! We had a routine, and now it’s gone. Idk if it bothers anyone else as much as it bothers me.