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- 4y
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- 4y
Of course but that’s a great exposure! I would look for coming out stories where people came out late after being in denial and sit with the anxiety and do nothing. You should try and use it as an exposure. Don’t look for reassurance just sit with the anxiety for a couple of hours thinking it could possibly be you.
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- 4y
You’re never going to get better until you accept that you might be gay. Sit with the anxiety and the thoughts and do nothing. You keep asking for reassurance by coming here and telling your story. You’re not going to get better this way. Trust me, get back on the horse and try again. Let yourself think the thoughts are true and do not argue with them even though you don’t like them. You have to take the risk
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- 4y
Kind of , when people tell their coming out story in this way, yes
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- 4y
As a gay person who didn’t struggle with acceptance even though I live in a homophobic society, it def triggers me when people say they had to do the mental work to accept themselves
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- 4y
Hi there. I saw that you are gay. Is there any way you would want to message with me on the side? I am dealing with HOCD and have a few questions.
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- 4y
@wyattthedude No dude don’t go down this path. You are looking for reassurance. Stay away. Look for the anxiety. Accept the anxiety and live with the possibility it may or may not be true. It gets easier trust me
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- 4y
@wyattthedude I agree with the op. As much as I don’t mind answering any questions, I don’t think it’s a good as this will only end up feeding your ocd. But if you still insist then we can talk on discord
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- 4y
@Reassurance Destroyer It’s so much harder because i’m in a 2 year serious relationship.
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- 4y
@wyattthedude That’s an excuse and a ritual. You need to accept the possibility that you may or may not be gay. Don’t tell yourself it’s harder because you’re in a 2 year relationship. Let’s sit with the anxiety and not do anything about it. Trust me it gets better.
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- 4y
Yes
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- 4y
Yes, right now my biggest worry is that girls are somehow going to seem appealing to me. So now it feels like I’m curious? But I don’t think I’m curious, it’s more like I’m desperate to make sure it’s not what I like and it feels like the only way I’ll know is by looking into it and I’m just scared. I mean I understand why people like girls, but I don’t think it’s for me but my mind says since I recognize the appeal it must mean I want it for myself. :/
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- 4y
You’re trying to figure something out. You should accept the possibility that the thought is true and do not try to check in on it. Try to sit with the anxiety and uncertainty for as long as possible
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- 4y
@Reassurance Destroyer You’re right
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- 4y
This is what scares me as I was never told this, 6 therapists told me it was OCD and I wasn’t Gay but this feels real so are you lot saying it can be as this has destroyed my 10 year relationship with a girl I was with and had no issues before.. can someone come out of this realising they are Gay as people and therapists have told me this doesn’t or hasn’t happened but have to live with the uncertainty
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- 4y
Are you asking if you can realize you’re gay through HOCD?
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- 4y
Again! Accept the thoughts are true and do not respond to them. SIT WITH THE ANXIETY AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
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- 4y
@Reassurance Destroyer the HOCD is so bad that at this point it feels like it would be easier if it was real.
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- 4y
@Reassurance Destroyer Okay.
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- 4y
@wyattthedude Good that it feels real. Once you get to that point sit with it hide your phone. Don’t disagree with it and just let the anxiety take what it wants. Trust me it gets easier
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- 4y
@wyattthedude Play a game. See how long you can go with sitting with the possibility that your fear is true. See how long you can go with the anxiety. Trust me you’ll see results
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- 4y
@wyattthedude Yes this is what scares me as I was never told this for over 10 years therapists said people don’t realise there themes are true.. I have been with a girl for 10 years have I misunderstood OCD as thought it meant this wasn’t true from what therapists told me
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@Anonymous I’m sorry, is there any way you can rephrase this? I don’t quite understand.
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- 4y
@wyattthedude Who cares what she said. You are you. Quit searching for reassurance through someone else’s life.
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- 4y
But I can’t as I don’t want to be Gay I want my life back. I accept I am gay but can’t stop thinking of all the acts throughout the day I don’t know how to stop ruminating and when I do accept I am Gay I feel like I have accepted I am and then I have just been in denial and been misled by therapists who told me I wasn’t and it was just OCd. Accept it can be true then if I am then I have lied to my partner and misled her so why are therapists telling me I am not and it’s OcD. I don’t want to be gay and will never be able to accept it as I don’t want to be
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- 4y
You said can someone with Hocd realised they are Gay but I am been diagnosed with ocd and told by over 6 therapists this doesn’t happen but people fear it will like people realise they are Gay or a pedophile.
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- 4y
Again REASSURANCE
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- 4y
Just scared as been with my partner for 10 years and I feel I like the these thoughts but don’t want and hound me 24/7 which has left me housebound. Everything is kissing men and all other acts my parents and girlfriend have sat through therapy and they have said it’s ocd and I am not so why don’t I believe them
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- 4y
https://youtube.com/channel/UCX7a7Ydw1-lZq-cwHkeND2Q Watch ocd mindful he helped me get through HOCD. Highly recommend subscribing
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- 4y
I have watched a few of his videos but my therapist told me it’s just OCd and I am not Gay or a pedophile but why do I feel I like these thoughts
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Go watch this video and understand how your therapist is wrong. https://youtu.be/jbRUUnESn-0
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- 4y
@Reassurance Destroyer What do you mean therapist is wrong so I could be gay and pedophile then
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- 4y
The problem is I feel I know I am Gay now and so confused with what I was told and my family that this was OcD and I wasn’t
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- 4y
Try to accept that you’re gay for a day without ruminating or doing any compulsions. I bet you in hours you’ll feel way better. See how long you can sit with the anxiety. Take the risk that the possibility is true
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- 4y
I know but I don’t want to be but feel I already know on and I am destroyer
Related posts
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- 25w
Anyone else with HOCD get thoughts of like "people in denial try to distract themselves" or anything along those lines when just trying to move on from the thoughts. Having a pretty bad episode this morning at least anxiety wise.
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- 13w
I never read someone talk about this so I wanted to know if it applies to anyone as well. For context: I deal with ROCD and SOCD but I do identify as straight and am in a (happy) relationship with a man. What often triggers me is memories about childhood and adolescences about having the groinal toward nudity in porn or music videos. Because I can’t deny having watched other things than straight porn and experimenting with porn I simply can’t stop trying to figure out what that might have meant and if i deep down have actually a other sexual orientation than the one that I feel comfortable identifying with. I only hear people talking about random triggers but never the REAL memory of arousal to pornography and so on.
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- 12w
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
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