For those struggling with with ROCD do you let your partner in on what’s going through your mind? My boyfriend is my go to person to talk to about anything going on my life and really the only one who understands ocd but I feel it can be hurtful for him if I share intrusive thoughts about our relationship.

I don‘t because i don‘t want him to misunderstand and think that i have actual doubts

Good questions. For me, I was overly focused on how I was feeling. Like “Oh no, why don’t I feel attracted to her right now? Does that mean we aren’t meant to be together?” Even though I was really attracted the day before. But when I was constantly checking my ‘feelings’ it drove out the possibility of actually having feelings: because I wasn’t present in that moment. I can be a torturous experience because it’s only because I love her so much that the situation felt so important. My brother helped me out some by giving me this advice: focus on the overall relationship over time; the bigger picture. A great relationship has off days but instead focus on how much you value that person and the relationship over a longer period of time. By God’s grace, since we’ve been married I haven’t really had those thoughts basically at all (3 years). But they amplified in engagement, I will say. Don’t take that as advice that this is necessarily the right person for you; all I’m saying is don’t let ROCD rule someone out for the wrong reason.

It might depend on the situation, but my therapist advised me to not share most of that with my girlfriend (at the time, we’re happily married now). I could be confusing and hurtful, and the thoughts aren’t really your thoughts, it’s just OCD, so sharing that paints a false picture of your feeling towards them. I’d say be careful. If he is helping you with exposure therapy then maybe, but it could be hurtful for him. Maybe if it’s getting really hard, just a general mention that you are going through some OCD stuff but that you’re going to get through it. Sometimes just sharing that I’m struggling with OCD in a general sense helps. The details shouldn’t be shared probably, won’t benefit either of you long term I think.

Hi!!! My compulsions stem from the intrusive thoughts about my boyfriend and I breaking up, and then I check over and over again wether or not I want to and pick up false signs around me that I do. I let him know these things, but it did put a strain on our relationship because he is also anxious. I sent him subtypes of ocd from the NOCD and it made him understand that it’s not him, but my OCD. This helped him understand how to talk to me about it too. So be honest, but try not to use him for reassurance or loop him into your thought cycles. And like people are saying above, just letting him know you are having that hard time without involving him.

Sometimes yes and sometimes no, it's so hard because I don't look forward to anything etc too so am definitely depressed on top of rocd, which feeds my rocd because I feel nothing. I think this whole situation would be too much to understand for him x

my boyfriend is super understanding of what it is so i tell him everything