CompHet (compulsory hetrosexuality) is something I find quite problematic even for those who dont have SOOCD. If you are unaware of what comphet is in the modern term, it's a lesbian masterdoc that was first posted on tumblr I believe, its essential goal is to "help" women see if they are just attracted to men by default by giving you all these bullet points, signs, reasons or scenarios that might tell you if you're actually a lesbian that's just getting with men because it's a societal norm. The main reasons I find it problematic is its need to label you into a neat little box: sexuality is a spectrum and we won't always be on one extreme end (straight or gay) we can float in between throughout our lives, depending on who we fall in love with. I also think it plays into bisexual erasure, bisexual people are already misunderstood as it is this masterdoc doesn't help that, it is possible that people can be bisexual in this case women and depending on who they meet in their lives it might appear to lean more towards one gender but it doesn't mean they're not bisexual. Another reason I find it problematic is the scenarios it uses to "prove" that you could in fact be a lesbian especially the sexual ones with men because alot of them could be due to a woman having gone through sexual trauma in her life and lets be honest alot of us more than not, have sadly. The last thing I find odd about it is the fact its only targeted towards women, so does that mean men can't fall victim to comphet because in my opinion men have alot more to lose essentially by not being straight as society unfortunately is alot less accepting of gay men or men that arent straight. That's just my rant, I'm sorry if it offended anyone. I think it could be useful but theres too many ways I find it problematic and I'd be saying that even if I didnt have OCD, as the whole doc gives me OCD vibes, the need to say you're one over the other for that certainty, instead of just accepting that maybe you're not one or the other and that's fine also.

I cant afford therapy which is why i’m not diagnosed with ocd. The first time i had heard what ocd was truly abt was 6 years ago when i overthinking my sexual identity and it fit. Additionally, i struggle with debilitating health anxiety and when i was in a rlt i was extremely anxious that i might not love my partner. This is the third year i experience distress around my sexuality but this year it feels real. And it could also explain my rlt anxiety. Comphet is a concept that really scares me. I dont want to be with a girl. I would rather die than discover i was lesbian. I cant accept uncertainty cz i dont want to be homosexual. Chat GPT told me it wasnt ocd + the thoughts dont distress me anymore. I experience 3 intense weeks of anxiety prior to now. Maybe its internalized homophobia. Maybe its comphet. I do find women to be attractive but i dont wanna be with them. Maybe i’m in denial. Idk anything anymore. I’m remembering times where i would find an actress attractive and try to shift my focus towards the man cz it would make me anxious. I’m not well at all.

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.