CompHet (compulsory hetrosexuality) is something I find quite problematic even for those who dont have SOOCD. If you are unaware of what comphet is in the modern term, it's a lesbian masterdoc that was first posted on tumblr I believe, its essential goal is to "help" women see if they are just attracted to men by default by giving you all these bullet points, signs, reasons or scenarios that might tell you if you're actually a lesbian that's just getting with men because it's a societal norm. The main reasons I find it problematic is its need to label you into a neat little box: sexuality is a spectrum and we won't always be on one extreme end (straight or gay) we can float in between throughout our lives, depending on who we fall in love with. I also think it plays into bisexual erasure, bisexual people are already misunderstood as it is this masterdoc doesn't help that, it is possible that people can be bisexual in this case women and depending on who they meet in their lives it might appear to lean more towards one gender but it doesn't mean they're not bisexual. Another reason I find it problematic is the scenarios it uses to "prove" that you could in fact be a lesbian especially the sexual ones with men because alot of them could be due to a woman having gone through sexual trauma in her life and lets be honest alot of us more than not, have sadly. The last thing I find odd about it is the fact its only targeted towards women, so does that mean men can't fall victim to comphet because in my opinion men have alot more to lose essentially by not being straight as society unfortunately is alot less accepting of gay men or men that arent straight. That's just my rant, I'm sorry if it offended anyone. I think it could be useful but theres too many ways I find it problematic and I'd be saying that even if I didnt have OCD, as the whole doc gives me OCD vibes, the need to say you're one over the other for that certainty, instead of just accepting that maybe you're not one or the other and that's fine also.

nikkii

Date posted: 4y

i agree wholeheartedly. even with so-ocd, i read it like a bunch of times and it makes me over analyze every guy i’ve ever liked and if i had ever liked them. ive always had trouble making any relationships bc of my own personality and that doc just makes me question who i always was. good for the women that have figured out they were into women with that doc but it is quite broad and it doesn’t explain EVERY women. and like you said, men can experience comphet but it is not talked about as much as women having it

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

It's not helpful for those with OCD and I can imagine it could be harmful for those who are lesbian with so-OCD you can easily flip it, and your OCD could be like what's to say you're not just convincing yourself your a lesbian, its mean like that. I think its nice that some women have found their sexuality from it, however I dont think its the most healthy way in doing so, I'd rather have experiences than just speculating from a few scenarios I've read. It does make a good ERP exercise tho so I guess that's the postive I can take from it lol.

Justmesadly

Date posted: 4y

It’s not ever useful. As you said we can’t fit things in a matching basket. Having 5 similar situations as someone who’s a lesbian doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian too. Who you are attracted to is what determines your sexuality, not how you dress or similar situations.

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

Yes definitely, the way you carry yourself has nothing to do with who you're attracted to, society needs to let of that unhelpful notion.

Susan4444

Date posted: 4y

Well put! I don’t have tik tok but I see the posts on here from people saying they saw something on tik tok like “your gay if you ever did x, y, z” and then it lists something that most people have done! I think that a lot of these are probably written by women who are reflecting on their past after coming out and trying to make connections with their past behavior and their current sexuality. And this may be very helpful to them to process. But what they think was a sign for them of being gay does not mean it is a sign for everybody!

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

I've tried Tiktok briefly, it wasn't good for me besides the fact there was too much going on, it is a huge trigger for someone with s-OCD, the only positive I can take from that is it's good for ERP exercises but besides that point trying to help people figure their sexuality with unreliable reasons when they could've figured it out themselves seemed pointless to me. Although I dont think the world should bend to suit people with OCD, I've just realised in this generation at least every excuse is used to doubt your sexuality, which can be quite distressing.

loonatic

Date posted: 4y

gosh i came across that topic on tiktok and it really was a huge trigger for me but I do agree with the points you have said. I also feel like it’s just being thrown around loosely.. like people would say that being shy around guys is comphet. idk I feel like it doesn’t take into account a lot of factors.

Tanaya

Date posted: 4y

It definitely doesn't take in alot of factors, it's not nearly as extensive as it could be, I think as humans we just love to be one or the other we're not really good at being inbetween and that's what I take from the masterdoc but I guess it could help other women it's just for those with OCD it seems to be more of a trigger and like you said being shy around the opposite sex doesnt mean its comphet, it could mean you have social anxiety which you'd then miss treating because you just think its a comphet problem.

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