Does anyone feel like seeking reassurance and then end up feeling worse after seeking it?! Gosh…

That's the real sinister part of what we deal with - OCD can develop into something that takes your greatest fears and insecurities and amplifies them to the point that you worry all the time. I don't want to contribute to the reassuring mechanism that a good many of us on this site have been going through; I do want to stress to you that OCD is a very real condition, a thinking disorder. It's not your fault, it's not a character issue. Though it feels permanent, it is manageable and it is NOT the truth of who you are, merely something you're having to deal with. I can vouge for ERP. The more you don't give in to the compulsions, the more you'll be able to see these disturbing thoughts as passing clouds.

All the time!

That's the very nature of our condition. The reassurance seeking is the compulsion part of the OCD and it only strengthens it. I went through this for several months straight between last year and this year and it became an almost daily thing. Medication and the ERP I'm getting through NOCD has helped tremendously! There is a way out; until then, be patient with yourself. It took a long time to get to the point you're at and it's going to take some work to get out of it, but you will get through it.

Absolutely, yesterday i spent over an hour just watching videos on severe OCD to try to reassure myself that its what i deal with and the videos showed people getting divorced cus of it and all that and i literally paniced and cried but couldnt stop watchinf them

Yeah, that's one reason why it's discouraged. It doesn't actually help.

Isnt reassurance ok sometimes? I mean, the whole idea of not having reassurance can sound unbelievably isolating to someone. The reality is that every human could use some reassurance every so often. OCD or not. Reassurance is nothing new. Isnt the whole concept of labeling our condition as OCD, reassurance in and of itself?