- Username
- Shannon
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Sorry you’re going through this.. I was in a very similar position for about a year, maybe even two. The doubt was eating me alive and I was planning a wedding at the same time so I completely understand you and I hope you realize that you’re not alone. I ended up getting through it and getting married. Best decision I ever made. I again feel so in love with my wife and I know you’ll see the light as well, you just gotta push through it. Make sure you do ERP every single day and you’ll see a difference. It’s going to take time to master it but you’ll begin to disregard those thoughts little by little. Best of luck to you, I believe in you!
Thanks for your story! I’m happy you made it through the bad times and are experiencing the great times now.
Thank you! I think a conversation about getting engaged is what triggered this! So your comment is really helpful to hear- knowing that regardless you have a choice! Congrats on pulling through and doing what you wanted! And thank you again :)
@Shannon Thank you! And yes 100%. I got triggered when I started ring shopping. That is where my ROCD began. I’ve read that OCD gets stronger in moments of important changes in life so it’s only natural for you to be feeling this way.
going through the same thing, but i’m choosing to stay. know that you always have a choice no matter what your ocd is telling you. it’s going to make you doubt that it’s even ocd. stay well friend <3
Thank you! I’m choosing to stay because something, somewhere inside me knows it’s right! Thank you, and I hope you start feeling better too! ❤️
It’s so comforting to see so many others like me on here. I’m still working towards the whole “getting into a relarionship” part, but so many of these thoughts are familiar to me. Glad I’m not alone.
Mhmm well I know it’s hard but it helps to remember how you felt before you were overcome with such anxiety. It’s easy to let the thoughts and anxiety over take you, I was in the same exact place the other night and I just kept crying because in my head I was like “I feel like I’d be happier if I was just single” and yes that’s true because I wouldn’t have a relationship to be anxious about! But then I thought about the times where I wasn’t so overwhelmed with these negative feelings and how I felt about my relationship. It also helps to write a pros and cons list so you can see the facts of the relationship rather than what’s just going on in your head. OCD will tear down anything that’s important to you. Have you ever told your partner about your thoughts?
Thanks for replying. When I don’t have these thoughts or feelings, I do not question my relationship. It’s healthy, loving and all I’ve ever wanted- I just can’t deal with feeling/thinking this way anymore. I know I’d feel better leaving but my therapist said unless I’m happy being single forever, I need to work through this because it won’t go away until I do the work. My partner knows all my thoughts- he’s so helpful & understanding & says he knows I love him. It’s so hard- I can’t even work out what I do or don’t want anymore :(
@Shannon You sounds just like me! It’s important you have that open communication with him. Just remember the OCD attacks what you truly care about so as someone told me here, the fact that you’re posting about this looking for someone to talk to shows a lot about your true feelings. And also something that’s helped me is it’s normal to have these feelings of doubt pop up in a relationship. It’s just for us it affects us more than it does the average person and we give meaning to these thoughts when in reality there’s nothing wrong. Idk if that helps or not but it will be okay.
@Kdrizzy Thank you, I really appreciate you replying. My partner said that himself- I get these thoughts all the time but I don’t think about it or keep busy- wish it was that easy for us! And I know- I’ve left relationships without a second thought etc before so it does say something I guess- but logic seems to go out the window in OCD!
My relationship OCD has been severe lately and with seemingly no trigger to cause this flare up. I am constantly anxious, doubtful and panicked that I don't love my partner, overanalyzing whether or not I'm attracted to him, and ruminating on the numbness I feel when we are together. Every idea I can come up with to test and check to see if there's that love feeling, that attraction or interest/excitement in doing things together feels invalid, like it won't work. I get triggered further when my partner asks me if I'm okay, and that wave of panic comes back. I can't tell if this is OCD, or if it's my gut telling me it's not a relationship I should stay in. We've been together for five years, I'm not in OCD therapy, and I've been off meds for four months now.
I don’t think I have ROCD anymore.. I believe I have fallen out of love with my partner… 💔 I still do compulsions and try to test myself but it doesn’t work anymore. I think about my happy moments and cry bc I want that to be the true me… I am just at this point convinced I don’t love him the same way anymore.. that ROCD just tricked me… I don’t feel numb but I am unhappy.. I cry randomly but not as much. I just… believe in am with him to avoid hurting him.. I’m just worried I don’t wanna admit it.. 😞 Can ROCD do this? Or can a relationship be saved even if I fell out of love!? I just know I am mentally exhausted. I even wanted to say I love you to him but didn’t bc of how bad this is… felt that I had no right…
I genuinely concerned. I have relationship ocd and see all these posts more so of partner focused, it being attracted to other people. I don’t have this at all. All my ocd is relationship focused and I’m starting to think it’s not ocd anymore!! Every single second I feel like I want to or should break up with him. I don’t feel that spark or infatuation and haven’t since the beginning. What if we just aren’t a good match? Even though he thinks we are. He’s my first healthy relationship. I feel sick. I feel like I’m prolonging the breakup because I just don’t wanna be alone or hurt him 😢
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