I’m sobbing on my bathroom floor, and I just don’t know how much I have left to give. I feel like I have no friends. I don’t have God. I can’t have my mom because being at home makes me even more miserable. I am so utterly alone, and I’m losing the best friend I ever had. I don’t know how I can do this. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t know if I can live. I just want someone to tell me it’s okay. But I can’t even have that because of ocd. I’m so so so sad inside that it scares me.

My OCD has become so bad and I feel so alone. I have religious OCD (Christianity) and I’ve been doing okay with letting the blasphemous thoughts go in the moment, but I’m so overcome with guilt and shame I can barely function. I can feel okay and hopeful for a few minutes and then I’m reminded of the horrible thoughts and how nothing can take them back and I can’t handle the guilt. I’m becoming a burden to my family and feel so alone. I do not know what to do. Please help.

I'm really scared and alone and I don't know how much I can handle! Briefly I lost my whole family and got abandoned too, and the adopted family I currently live with we are having conflicts with each other because they want to control everything about my life friends clothes times of sleep food drinks everything!! I have OCD very bad intrusive thoughts and they don't help at all but at least i have a place to sleep in and food and they aren't that bad after all and thank god they saved me but They are very much dependent on me on everything at home, and the mom treat me like garbage sorry for the word but these days it's been so bad we had alot of fights and i feel like she will abandon me too soon, I know I should have left them earlier but I don't have any where else to go and I don't have the courage to be whole alone!!! I'm crashing I'm terrified and many senarios are on my head and it feels like I'm living in a nightmare, should I obey her? But my life and my mental health would be much more bad, or leave them and face the world alone??? Please tell me anything I want to have hope that everything is going to be okay..

How to deal with OCD when you’re dissociating and numb and it’s going from ROCD, existential to how you hate yourself, to your whole life story trauma flooding, to retroactive jealousy, to how you never anointed to much, to how it’s hard for you to love people and not scrutinize, to how you never really did much on your own and always needed help and attention, to how you’re scared of death, to how you’re scared of abandonment and being alone, to saying if you don’t fix all these at once you’ll lose your relationship (I have CPTSD and there’s a push pull and I never had a chance to fix it) and I try to control everything. And I realize it. And it’s going on about how adulting is scary. About how I try to work and the. Quit because I’m afraid of opinions. About how I hoard. About how everything in life seems senseless. About how I can’t connect. About how I people please and about how I’m selfish. About how nothing will ever be perfect. I’m not joking when every second of my day is a FLOOD of thoughts and it’s been 46 days like this after one thought I tried to sit with spiraled me into a dissociative shutdown. I’ve had bad OCD all my life but as I got older more and more fears piled up. And my trauma is so bad. And so loud. The OCD is so bad. There’s nothing in life I don’t fear. And everything feels like a threat to me. His past. Him. And how I don’t want anyone else but my brain won’t stop ripping him apart. How “no one” will be good enough for my perfectionistic mind. I truly don’t know how the absolute fuck to get over something this severe. And I have horrific self worth issues. Bad. Like zero self worth. boundaries. Anything. I never had skills. And idk how to explain to my family how bad this OCD is. I run to my mom like a scared child. But even she can’t give me comfort because I’m in hell. And I always wanted people to help me fix things and now that I’m trapped in my own mind I can’t. I’m scared. Shitless.