I am worried Tomorrow I have to do a marching band thing and might have to stay after school until 4:15 My friends are also trying to rope me into going to GSA with them, and I keep making excuses to not go But if I have to stay for band, I’ll pretty much have to go But I CAN’T go because Martha will be triggered and I’ll worry that being at GSA will make me gay Asdfghjkl I’m worried

I’m nervous about an upcoming gathering. I feel like I won’t be welcomed or only invited for the sake of the host being nice. I am afraid of what I will say or do, that others will pick up on my non verbal behaviors like I do with theirs (i.e. a shoulder shift, eye roll, texting each other while I’m right there etc.) and I’m afraid that I will ruin the vibes of the gathering by becoming paranoid. I don’t want my thoughts to spiral so bad that I need to leave and my fiancé is out of town so it’s not like I can escape. I don’t want to be there the whole time but also don’t want to seem rude by leaving early and keep thinking that if I leave early will be a topic of conversation for others there. It makes me want to curl up and hide in the house all weekend and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it for over a week now.

I’m in a class with a majority (basically all) people a grade younger than me because I messed up my schedule. it will be like this next year too, because the class that i’m in next year my grade already took this past year. I messed up , and now my friends ask me about it and treat me like younger than them and like below them kind of. and they’re not bad friends, but it is embarrassing bec what i did is just not normal. i’ve tried to keep it on the dl from people because they judge. I know i’m probably overthinking it but i’m scared my friends are gonna leave me because all they talk about is the class that they’re in that i’m not in and leave me because I’m behind. it’s really stupid that i’m not really a part of my own grade anymore, and it ruined my school years that i am currently in (at least that’s what it feels like). basically im scared that i’m going to be lonely the rest of these years and sad and it’s all because of a choice I made, even though i hope they wouldn’t do that.:(

Chat GPT told me its more likely comphet than ocd Idk im scared Im scared that if i accept the uncertainty to know the truth once and for all 1) i end up actually turning out to be lesbian 2) I lose the guy i love (or i think i love idk atp) I’m remembering so many moments of same sex attractions from when i was little Im so scared im so scared Its too much