I am worried Tomorrow I have to do a marching band thing and might have to stay after school until 4:15 My friends are also trying to rope me into going to GSA with them, and I keep making excuses to not go But if I have to stay for band, I’ll pretty much have to go But I CAN’T go because Martha will be triggered and I’ll worry that being at GSA will make me gay Asdfghjkl I’m worried

Pocd feels real again and I can’t tell if I’m actually attracted or not. can’t believe it got this bad again. I used to be able to go “no I don’t like that, go away” and now it feels like I do like it and want it, and it’s starting to linger longer so it feels more real. I’m avoiding checking but I’m so scared that what if it’s true. Is it because I have not been doing my exposures? I’m not sure, but every time a 14 year old person comes to my head, I keep hearing something go “they’re attractive” and it sounds like me so I panic, and it makes me even more scared because I’m not feeling bad about it??? I saw some kid at Walmart that had long black hair and my brain kept saying shit and no matter how much I say I don’t feel that way, it won’t shut up, i want to check 1000 times to make sure. But I know it’s not worth it. I’m trying so hard

I’m on my period and o think my ocd feels a little worse today… I feel anxious and like something bad is about to happen, like I can’t move or talk cause I’ll freak out or snap and do something. Also I had a gronial response about an SA topic and I feel horrible, I’ve noticed that I do have these gronials as if I’m actually into that but idk if it can happen that you have the gronial and think “oh I’m horny, not about this but I am” is that possible? Idk how to say it… also I think I just want reassurance but I’m also scared…

My sister is going to a concert and coming back to the house where me and my family live. In my mind her clothes are extremely dirty. And I know her coming back is going to cause a lot of strong contamination thoughts to enter my head. I’m exhausted already from pushing myself and I can’t seem to focus on anything when these thoughts are really strong. I’m in college and this makes focusing on homework difficult. I failed an exam the other day bc I couldn’t stop thinking about what I need to clean and then cleaning. It’s really exhausting.