- Username
- KimberlyJean
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Same here. I struggle with perfectionistic ocd. I always repeat things like before going down the stairs I step back and and step forward for like 6 times then I will go down and if it is not right, I will do it again. My advice are that don't be afraid to ask for help and then maybe there is who will understand you
Your rules are what are keeping you. There are a ton of compulsions in what you wrote. Doing compulsions does relieve your anxiety short term, but it also strengthens the intrusive thought and makes your OCD worse. If you truly want to break the OCD cycle, ERP is the best way to do that. ERP is hard and uncomfortable, but it works. How much longer are you going to let OCD control and bully you? How much more of your life are you going to allow OCD to steal? It comes down to a choice. You can choose to stay stuck and continue giving into your compulsions. But making that choice will bring you short term relief and long term misery. Or you can choose to do the hard thing. Embrace ERP. Yes, it will be hard and uncomfortable, but the long term benefits are worth it. I believe you deserve more than what you have settled for. But this is a choice only you can make. Only you can decide of you are willing to invest the time and hard work it takes to reach recovery. OCD is OCD. ERP works regardless of what subtype you are dealing with. Recovery is possible. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to reach recovery? If you aren't, then all the amount of therapy will help you. Ask yourself if you are willing to spend the rest of your life the way it is right now?
I wish my family understood too. I think theres a great roadblock in education awareness for this type of OCD as it's difficult to understand and treat. People are like OH it's so easy just choose to go to the store...without a list, without taking inventory or cleaning out the fridge. Believe me I wish I could! But I fall into a panic and get stuck! I try really hard and it's just horrendously difficult. And it's also like "Dont you think I know that? I know its ridiculous and I know what I should be able to do and handle....but..." I have work tonight mans I open tomorrow but I'm hoping to get set up with a therapist here and take advantage of groups and start working on it again.
I think another obstacle is the frustration of others closest to you. You're already frustrated with yourself....Youre NOT lazy. Youre NOT incompetent. Youre NOT difficult. Youre NOT chosing this to be miserable and make others miserable around you. You're NOT trying to let anyone down or have anyone do more work for you....in fact delegating tasks to others is extremely hard for me! The put downs make it all the more difficult.
I relate so much to this post! Thank you for sharing, you are very brave to do so. I struggle with the same subtype and feel very similarly to you (like no one understands and wishing I could just do things normally like other people). Keep searching for someone who specializes in ocd because you deserve that! You are not alone and there is help available!
Hi everyone. First time here. I suffer from Contamination OCD. I have a good support group in friends, family, and my boyfriend, but I have not met anyone else with OCD and I needed to reach out to others to find help. I first got OCD when I was 17 (I am now 33) and was able to go into remission, but COVID brought it back. I was struggling at work (which was outside with the public). I found a therapist and she wrote me a doctor’s note suggesting I be allowed to work from home. My work was not accommodating at all and only offered me FMLA leave, so I took it as my only option and eventually got on Short Term Disability. The whole process took forever and was incredibly stressful. My leave was supposed to be a time of healing and it just made my OCD symptoms worse. My employer basically treated me as though I was trying to get out of work and proved to me that though they talk about the importance of mental health, they don’t take mental health seriously. I ended up having to leave my job “involuntarily due to health reasons” as they would not grant an extension nor let me return with any restrictions/accommodations. My therapist seemed good at first, but it became clear that she wasn’t really helping me. She would often use our sessions to vent about the insurance company and in one session, she basically called me a hopeless case and kept saying “I don’t know. I am concerned. I don’t know how you are going to be able to function” and threw out the word hospitalization, though she did backtrack on that one. I struggle everyday. I am worried that something from outside of the home touched something clean and is now contaminated. I need help working through this. I am constantly looking for reassurance, question if things are clean, wash my hands, use too many disinfectant wipes, and take showers upwards of 50-60 mins. I feel like my mind is being taken over by my OCD, I’m losing time, and it’s straining my relationship. For anyone who is struggling with contamination OCD brought on by COVID - any tips? My therapist never gave me anything specific to work on with this - to help me focus on something else. I am in the process of finding another therapist, but until then - any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Hello everyone! I have been through a whirlwind of mental health struggles but OCD feels like it might be “running the show” and I didn’t know if anyone else could relate The first time I got told I was struggling with ocd was by a therapist only a few months ago who said I “fall under the cloud of harm ocd” This lead me to a downward spiral because I had never had a mental health diagnosis before and I was so scared right away that nobody would believe me or help me. I feel like my life has been so out of control over the last few months. I’m dealing with some other things such as big life changes and identity crisis (fresh out of college, no longer a student athlete, came out to my family). I had to leave my first job as an icu nurse for the immense distress it caused me as i was working day/night rotating shifts and being triggered unknowingly to some trauma that I didn’t even know I was holding onto. I now experience heavy mood swings and dissociation at times related to ptsd and I feel like life just isn’t the same. I’m in such a tough spot because I seem to have a fear of being misdiagnosed/improperly treated, a fear of taking meds, a fear of unintentionally harming myself, and my needs for safety reassurance are so strong that I’m back home with my parents and scared to do anything. I’m a nurse as well so I know way too much about the meds and side effects. At the end of the day, the logical part of my brain wants meds to help me , but the fear or starting meds, the side effects, and the trial and error of them not knowing what will work leaves me stuck and feeling hopeless. I always end up thinking that I could just feel better if I jumped back into my normal busy life, but when I do so and get triggered (ocd or ptsd) I am left hopeless and begging my parents to get me on meds. Each appointment though leads to significant anxiety and like I have to say every single detail , which ends in me getting frustrated and confused not wanting to take meds after all because i don’t think they have the full picture. I had a bad experience with Zoloft bringing out manic symptoms when I first started it. It was terrifying. I’ve been switching provider to provider trying to find someone I trust, but in the mean time my anxiety is worsening and I feel more confused of what my symptoms really are in the first place. I have Xanax that I can take 3x daily but I don’t like feeling like I’m going to get addicted to it if I keep taking it and avoid getting on long term meds. I don’t trust any doctors and I feel the need to tell them every single little detail which I feel like leads to further frustration and maybe even impaired treatment plans. I’m sorry if this is a lot but I’m really struggling and needing some support and guidance 😭
Hi there! I was diagnosed with OCD when I was about 17 but never really understood it. I never knew there were so many subtypes of OCD. There are things that I do that I knew were OCD related like intrusive thoughts, excessive counting, and excessive organization. I used to take medication for it but I was young and didn’t think I needed it so I stopped taking it. As of lately, I’ve been going through a lot of stress and anxiety. I was already flirting with the idea of therapy but felt I had a good handle on life and told myself I could get myself through most issues, but lately I’ve even stressed and overwhelmed so I finally decided to make an appointment. In my therapy research I began doing more OCD research as well and realized that a lot of my life centers around OCD. I always thought it was just anxiety or feeling unsure about myself but after doing this research I’m starting to think my OCD is a lot worse than I thought it was. Sometimes I write an email at work and read it over several times to make sure I didn’t make a mistake, every night before bed I check several times that the stove/oven are off and that the doors are locked because I’m afraid my family and I will die overnight, I’ve come to learn that the counting makes me comfortable and that my cleaning and organizational preferences aren’t just “quirky”, I’ve learned that avoidance is a symptom of OCD which has also affected my work, when my loved ones are sleeping I always check to see that they’re still breathing, I reread directions several times to make sure I don’t miss anything or make a mistake, I press the lock button on my car several times even if I’ve already heard the beep, unread notifications on my phone make me anxious because I’m worried someone is trying to tell me bad news or someone is threatening me. The list goes on. I’m definitely interested in seeking more treatment and learning coping skills but I’m afraid it will change me as a person. I like who I am, what if I manage my organization skills and then I become too messy or I stop checking directions or things I wrote and I make too many mistakes, etc. I think I have to keep reminding myself that treatment will make me more comfortable in my own body and mind and that it is definitely a good choice and a step in the right direction. I really didn’t expect this post to be this long 😅 but getting all of this off my chest feels good! I’m open to any advice and/or words of encouragement. Thank you for your time
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