- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
With regards to ROCD you need to level with that person or people about your struggles and how this knowledge is helpful to them or what they could do for you! Hope this helps I’m with you!
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you it does. I just have bad anxiety from trying to stop rumination that it gets me spiraling.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m in the journey now and it’s hard. It’s emotional, challenging, and scary. I have had great stretches and then suddenly had awful ones. So I’d say I’m in the process of overcoming, slowly and painfully but surely. The journey is messy and there will be relapses. But it’s how you respond to them when they come that matters most.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m on the same page, it’ll be good for a bit and it makes me feel like I was better then it flares again. I understand that’s gonna be the process. The hardest thing is that my compulsion is 100% mental - I ruminate & check my feelings for anxiety - which is really hard to stop. Idk how to stop this feeling & I know if it doesn’t stop, then ERP might not work for me.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous This is something I struggle a lot with too. Mine are all mental compulsions and ruminating
- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mak46 Try reading this and listen to his podcast to see if it helps you. Mental checks are definitely the hardest compulsion to stop, in my humble opinion. These needs to be stop before ERP does us any good.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Thanks for the resource!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mak46 Anytime! Trying to help anyone as much as I can. I just know how difficult this journey is. Let’s work hard, we’ll be able to do it one day!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Yeah that is very helpful! I haven't been feeling quite as anxious about stuff or having as many thoughts. But I have also experienced a loss of attraction which hasn't come back. So that is what is also happening with me a lot recently.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mak46 I feel you on that & trust me, I know the struggle. I have a fiancé who I love dearly but because of what I’m going thru, attraction for anything right now is beyond difficult to comprehend. I’m not a therapist, so take my thoughts for a grain of salt - but what I’ve learned is that since we’re always in “fight or flight” mode, our bodies doesn’t care about attraction or hunger. I know I’ve lost my appetite & it’s slowly improving, however it hasn’t been the same yet. I have hope that this isn’t going to last forever as long as we continue to work on it. Get a therapist, if you haven’t already. They do help.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Thanks for the advice. Yeah it makes sense that we are so anxious that doing anything else doesn't sound as interesting. I hope so too. Yeah and I have gone on dates with this one guy because I don't want to start avoiding that as well. But my ocd is definitely making that difficult. Especially since I have never had a boyfriend before and the whole thing makes me so anxious.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mak46 Definitely try to speak with a therapist. These comments will only be part of your assurance and I definitely do not want to participate in feeding your OCD “monster”. Mainly focus on yourself first before anything else!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Thanks. Yeah I have been trying to find one that I could maybe get insurance to cover. Thank you for listening to me.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mak46 NOCD has great therapists who are knowledgeable on ERP. I understand about the insurance situation tho, I’m paying out of pocket every sessions because my insurance doesn’t cover it. Definitely try to find some family or friends who are able to help or lend you money, if your insurance doesn’t cover it!
- User type
- Staff
- Date posted
- 3y
Just want you to know that I have seen *so* many people recover from these themes - you are not alone, there is light at the end of the tunnel. From a therapist's perspective, it's really important to embrace the ERP skills and to follow your therapist's suggestions ESPECIALLY when the OCD feels really real. I also encourage people not to get stuck with questions like "is it normal for people to think this way?" and instead ask yourself "what's good for my treatment?" and really prioritizing your treatment/recovery.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for your response to this Jenna! It gives me hope, especially on days when the OCD feelings seems so real. It is definitely a hard process but I am doing my best with my ERP homework 📚
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi Jenna - I’m not sure if you’re going to see this. However I would like to hear your experience when it comes to my subtypes, which is SOOCD & ROCD. Since starting treatment / therapy, I’ve been feeling depressed and that causes my ability to love disappear. I can’t feel love towards my family or fiancé. I am especially more scared of not feeling that sprak or love towards my fiancé because deep down, I know I love him so much. He has supported me so much. This in turns makes me feel more sad, guilty & triggers my anxiety. Why is that?
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- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 9w
I’m so scared I’ll be stuck in this forever soo soo scared
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