Last night I was comparing intimate scenarios in my head and it keeps feeling like I truly wanted to and additionally I had thoughts like because my own body parts are soft (chest) objectively so would another woman’s which felt like it would be good but I don’t want that at all and it felt like I would be curious about what it’d be like to touch another woman’s chest but again I don’t want to. And when I imagined a scenario with a friend it felt the same as when I compulsively try to imagine scenarios with my boyfriend because of how badly I want to be able to enjoy those things with him. So just numb really and sad, except I want to do those things with my partner but not another girl. I think this is truly denial, no one else has thoughts about it actually being nice and actually enjoyable / curious even though it used to make me so uncomfortable. I ache to be near my partner, not another woman even if I am bi whatever that’s fine but I just want to feel something for my partner again in that aspect without questioning everything

I just want to say this is completely normal, you say ‘I think this is truly denial, no one else has thoughts of it being nice and actually enjoyable’ - that’s not strictly true, at all. The crutch of a lot of obsessions, PARTICULARLY ones that are sexual in nature, is that OCD evokes sensations of ‘enjoyment’ (such as physical arousal), which is the reason people become so absorbed with the obsession - it FEELS REAL! I don’t want to reassure, but, you are not bi. Look, if I had no understanding or OCD, and took what you said at face value (I.e that you have these sexual thoughts that create a feeling of ‘enjoyment’ (arousal) & ‘curiousity’ about the same sex, while also feeling a disconnection from your partner - ignoring all of the OCD stuff; you’re right, I would think you’re bi. But the fact that you have OCD turns that on it’s HEAD, completely. It’s the same for someone has harm obsessions for example, if I was a layman (no understanding or OCD), and I heard that some woman was constantly thinking about stabbing her child, I’d think she was seriously disturbed - but again, I’m sure you’d agree that having OCD turns that presumption on its head. The reason I’m saying this is that, as someone with OCD, you’re looking at your own situation - despite prior knowledge of OCD - as though you’re just a non-OCD individual experiencing those thoughts. The division is QUITE bold.

I can relate to this

I am scared can’t stop thinking of these thoughts it feels real at first when this started I didn’t get feelings and emotions.. getting this nagging thoughts sayinv try it you don’t know unless you try it is horrible it is wrecking my life please help !

Thanks for sharing your current experience. I would say that you should be very proud of yourself for 1st noticing the anxiety, distress, and discomfort and letting those feelings of anxiety, fear, etc. be there.This is a perfect time to as I like to say "practice" ERP. Practice not analyzing any of those points you mentioned and place your attention on this present moment. Feel your feet on the ground, take a deep breathe, go for a walk, read, go hangout with a close companion, or play a sport. Not avoiding the discomfort, but choosing to do things you want to do and not give any attention to dwelling on that.The most important part being the response prevention. Not easy, but part of the work. When this type of situation occurs and we are in environments in which we are organically exposed to distress, use this as an opportunity to practice doing the work! This allows for two things; showing yourself you can handle and tolerate it, and also letting your body know that although you feel uncomfortable you are willing to keep doing whatever it is you are doing and getting on with your day! This is the foundation!