Yesterday, I did some work on a workbook I purchased. Its specifically geared towards people with OCD and deals with self compassion. This is a very difficult subject. Compassion and empathy for others comes very naturally to me. But compassion, kindness, and empathy towards myself? Not so much. I would never dream of saying the horrible things I saw to myself to anyone else. Going through this workbook has been great, but its also been pretty painful. Lately, I've also been thinking about just how much OCD has stolen from me. Its really not surprising considering I lived with it undiagnosed for 37 years. But it still makes me sad and angry. I want to reach recovery so bad, but sometimes I think I will never get there. But I won't stop fighting until I do or die trying. Can anyone else relate?

When I look at pictures of myself, I see a young woman who deserves a fulfilling life that is not dictated by OCD and anxiety. I feel sad that so much of my time, my energy, and my choices have been consumed by OCD. I spend so much time in my head, ruminating and worrying and trying so damn hard to figure out that one thing that my OCD urgently presses me to solve. Sometimes I don't enjoy things that I want to because I'm overwhelmed with my compulsions. I've struggled with this for years, and lately OCD has been telling me that the struggle will never end--that I'll never feel in control of my life. I know that this isn't true, but I'm so scared that it could be. My faith doesn't feel bigger than my fear right now. How do I change that? I don't want to live like this anymore. As I'm writing this, my OCD is telling me that I'm incapable of recovery, but I know I can recover. I deserve to recover. I'm in therapy with an OCD specialist outside of this app and I'm going to increase the frequency of my sessions from once a month to once a week because I deserve an amazing, fulfilling life. And to whoever is reading this, you do, too.

Not to minimize anyone’s suffering, even a minute with an OCD brain is torture. I just wonder if anyone has lived with this condition for so long. What’s your advice? If you’ve done all the things and you’re still stuck. I was a child when I was diagnosed but even now that I’m a lot older I still feel like a scared, insecure child. Afraid of doing everything wrong, not able to pursue my career or goals. And the world is much scarier with social media, information overload, and a general unforgiving nature. My growth and development has been stunted. And I’m embarrassed. And I just didn’t plan for this, I’ve tried to change jobs, lots of ERP, various prescriptions, TMS.. I’ve truly tried to build a life around my diagnosis. But I have nothing to show for it. People’s lives and careers are really starting to take off, but mine never did. I’ve worked so hard, but I was just trying to survive this whole time. I didn’t get to live and dream. And I don’t know how to change that, but I want to. Were you able to reclaim a sense of freedom? I’d appreciate words of wisdom and encouragement. To anyone reading this, don’t give up. I’m still here fighting and I want the same for you. ❤️

Hi all! I am trying to practice self compassion with myself as i suffer from ocd, ptsd and bpd and due to years of sa abuse and so on I have a very very negative self image of myself. Anyways, I realized I was avoiding talking to my nicely (compulsively if you will) and being actively proud of myself as it triggers a mean ocd thought about myself. E.g.: ‚i did really well today on xyz‘ —> immediately my ocd says ‚sure but you are dirty and should feel guilty because you had sexual thoughts and enjoyed them about xyz‘. I think you get the point… Do some of you experience the same ? How do you deal with it ? The same way as with other intrusive thoughts ? Let it pass and restrict compulsiions ? Thank you!!!