- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel this. Undiagnosed for about 20 years here. Let us look forward with optimism. Life ain't over 'til it's over and every day is a new chance to improve our perspective!
- Date posted
- 3y
Very true.
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! First off, I’m so sorry that ocd has stolen so much from you. If I can have one wish, i would wish for mental health to never have existed because I turly believe that we ALL deserve happiness. However, I can relate. I’m 28 & have been diagnosed with OCD 2 months ago. I’ve realized signed of OCD since I was 7 but never really thought much of it because of physical compulsions. However that changed 3 months ago when I officially seeked help. I seeked help because the new subtype(s) threaten my identity and my relationship with my now fiancé. It is hard to have self empathy, but I’ve realized that is “normal” for those of us suffering from OCD. We’re one of the most compassionate people with our loved ones but we’re too hard on ourselves. Sometimes I do think that my fiancé deserves someone so much more better than me.. someone who’s not a burden because of her mental health. However, I also know from my heart that I love him and I DO deserve to be happy also. Sometimes ocd makes us doubt that we’re ever going to recover.. especially on days when ocd hits a little harder. But don’t give up! I know we can do it. Look at how far NOCD got and how we’re so blessed to have them around this lifetime. I can’t imagine what it was like years ago. Stay strong!
- Date posted
- 3y
I wish that too. It was even harder for me because I do have some checking compulsions, but 95% of my compulsions are mental rather than physical. Which means its much easier to hide. I am so incredibly thankful NOCD. It has changed my life.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lms526 Same here. My compulsions are 95% mental. I make up scenarios to making up conversations to questioning to checking. It’s so annoying and tiring. I wish they were more physical. Being here, reading and answering posts seems like a compulsions now 😭
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous trust me, you do not want 6 hour showers and bleeding skin.
- Date posted
- 3y
@teeth I had compulsive hand washing for a couple months last year when COVID first started. My hands were, red, chapped, and very sore. I can't even imagine having it long term. I wish none of us had compulsions at all. Physical or mental. I wouldn't wish OCD on my worst enemy.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lms526 Sorry, I also wish that none of us had mental health! Really is the worst of the worst
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah. I don't have an official diagnosis but I can't doubt that I have OCD. My OCD started this year, fortunately I was able to identify OCD a couple months ago. I really feel bad that your OCD has taken away so much from you :( OCD has caused me immense anxiety and it is probably the worst thing I've experienced in my life. I can't afford therapy and I don't understand ERP well enough to do it myself. But I'll keep on trying.
- Date posted
- 3y
There's a really good book that explains ERP very well. Its available on Amazon and called Daring to Challenge OCD by Dr. Joan Davidson. Also check out OCD Stories Post.
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel this, a lot. its taken so, so much from me after going untreated and undiagnosed for so many years. heartbreaking, but I just beat myself up for it constantly.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
So... I few years ago, I did self-harm a few times, and then I got super into spirituality, and about a year ago, I remembered I did self-harm and ever since haven't been able to shake the guilt off... Constantly, every day, my mind would make me feel guilty about it and think about it all day. It's like my brain knew the thought that I could/ have cut myself scared me, so it kept bringing it up. My family had no idea I had ever done this, so my OCD told me I was a liar for not telling them about every day. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me anymore and send me to a mental hospital if I told them. About 2-3 months ago, I had gotten so fed up with having these thoughts every day and confessed to my mom what I had done, and her reaction was great. And I thought I'd never have thoughts about when I did self-harm again because I finally confessed. I was wrong. Even with people telling me that it's okay, I did that, I can't shake the guilt I had around this event, and even more so the fear/guilt around my own thoughts... My therapist and I talk about how the problem isn't the thoughts but what the OCD does to them. I try to create positive neural pathways, but that just makes me more stressed about it. There are things I'm supposed to tell myself when I feel negative, but I think I get that confused and tell myself those things every time I have thoughts about what I did. Which is feeding into a mental compulsion (replacing every "bad" thought with a "good" one. What works for me is (if I can) do nothing and have the thoughts... It's been hard to get better because I have had no idea what's been happening to me and felt like for the last year I was going crazy... I always thought OCD was cleaning stuff and physical compulsions . Everything that happened to me happened in my head. On the worst days when my OCD is really bad, every single time I was conscious and aware, I was thinking about the fact that I did self-harm. I would lie in bed all day trying to figure out my thoughts because I thought if I watched TV, I would be avoiding important things. I thought I had to figure out all my thoughts. I would ruminate, replay, and second-guess all. day. long. It was hard to do any of the things I loved; OCD took the joy out of it. It was hard to recognize it was OCD because I thought I had done something seriously bad and wrong, and that I must deserve these thoughts. I think the trick is that you feel like you must have positive thoughts, and the most distressing thing wasn't necessarily the fact that I did self-harm, but the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I find the best thing you can do is just have all your thoughts in your head and try not to separate them from good and bad, if you can. It's nice to have people who understand!!!! More to come, about the journey. My favorite thing to say when I'm stuck is "that sly devil... OCD. Silly OCD is getting to me right now, but it won't last forever. That sneaky guy tricked me again." Love you!!!
- Date posted
- 12w
I am newly diagnosed with OCD as a 33 year old female I was fat oses with bipolar at 15 and never really identified with it much and totally relate to ocd. I wish i would have known long ago so I could have gotten treatment earlier. Now that I know and am aware and can see what’s off and what are compulsions and my insatiable need for reassurance it’s so overwhelming- it feels like my mind is a prison and attacks me with a new pure o quest as soon as I wake up I’m optimistic I’ll be able to get better but it just feels like it’s time sucking and joy stealing disorder I know I’m not alone here I feel like a crazy person replaying and replaying things I want to know if you can relate or if you have been at this for a while and actually feel like you are breaking free from this Thanks for the read
- Date posted
- 11w
Just stumbled across this app/community. I've been struggling with just right or perfectionist OCD for several years. Im 47 and I've had a pretty successful life, ironically because of some of my OCD traits; attention to detail, organization, perseverance, etc. But about 4-5 years ago, without any specific trigger, I started noticing more... let's call them errors. Errors in just about everything. These errors led to compulsive behaviors to "fix" them. Place the can down again, "right" this time. That piece of trash didn't land "right" in my trash bin, take it out and do it again. But really it started happening because of me physically touching or manipulating things, or really anything that involved fine motor control. Picking things up/placing down, turning switches, knobs on/off, opening/closing doors, cupboards, cabinets, using a mouse, putting on and taking off clothes, brushing teeth/hair, drying my body after a shower, pressing buttons on my phone, buttons on my shirt, pants zippers, etc. I mean, you name it. I've never had the type of classical OCD where I obsessively washed bc I was worried about germs or intrusive thoughts about my family dying. I had anxiety about the compulsing itself, or specifically avoiding certain actions so I wouldn't start compulsing. So I was kind of lost for awhile. Then I'll never forget reading this article about just right OCD and getting tears in my eyes. It was a point of some validation that others had similar symptom clusters or patterns. Not that I'd wish these compulsions on anyone! I've started seeing a therapist and taking an SSRI. Don't really like the therapist and I don't really feel like the medication works. Plus I don't like the side effects. Night sweats and sexual side effects. But, I have had some moderate success with different types of mental tricks. Essentially some self taught ERP. Little mantras I use like "not down, but forward" as in stop slowing down and laser focusing on every step, every detail and move forward, physically and mentally. Remembering that compulsions come with the idea that they provide comfort or a good feeling, when in reality, moving through a chore or task without compulsions or repetitive behavior is f**king amazing. Remember and chase that feeling. Watching the uncomfortable feeling float away or specifically identifing that feeling where my mind wants to stop and restart a motion of or an action and ignoring it to "rewire" my thinking. And distraction. Distraction is a big one too. Those are a couple of things that have worked for me. Im by no means better... I still struggle every day. And it's exhausting. This disease makes me feel so stupid and it's embarrassing and frustrating. But I've had some glimmers of hope lately and i KNOW that i can overcome it. Get back to the ass kicker in life, and with my family, and in the gym, and at work, that i know is inside of me still. Anyway, I think typing some of my journey out has been helpful so thanks for reading.
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