- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel this. Undiagnosed for about 20 years here. Let us look forward with optimism. Life ain't over 'til it's over and every day is a new chance to improve our perspective!
- Date posted
- 3y
Very true.
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! First off, I’m so sorry that ocd has stolen so much from you. If I can have one wish, i would wish for mental health to never have existed because I turly believe that we ALL deserve happiness. However, I can relate. I’m 28 & have been diagnosed with OCD 2 months ago. I’ve realized signed of OCD since I was 7 but never really thought much of it because of physical compulsions. However that changed 3 months ago when I officially seeked help. I seeked help because the new subtype(s) threaten my identity and my relationship with my now fiancé. It is hard to have self empathy, but I’ve realized that is “normal” for those of us suffering from OCD. We’re one of the most compassionate people with our loved ones but we’re too hard on ourselves. Sometimes I do think that my fiancé deserves someone so much more better than me.. someone who’s not a burden because of her mental health. However, I also know from my heart that I love him and I DO deserve to be happy also. Sometimes ocd makes us doubt that we’re ever going to recover.. especially on days when ocd hits a little harder. But don’t give up! I know we can do it. Look at how far NOCD got and how we’re so blessed to have them around this lifetime. I can’t imagine what it was like years ago. Stay strong!
- Date posted
- 3y
I wish that too. It was even harder for me because I do have some checking compulsions, but 95% of my compulsions are mental rather than physical. Which means its much easier to hide. I am so incredibly thankful NOCD. It has changed my life.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lms526 Same here. My compulsions are 95% mental. I make up scenarios to making up conversations to questioning to checking. It’s so annoying and tiring. I wish they were more physical. Being here, reading and answering posts seems like a compulsions now 😭
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous trust me, you do not want 6 hour showers and bleeding skin.
- Date posted
- 3y
@teeth I had compulsive hand washing for a couple months last year when COVID first started. My hands were, red, chapped, and very sore. I can't even imagine having it long term. I wish none of us had compulsions at all. Physical or mental. I wouldn't wish OCD on my worst enemy.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lms526 Sorry, I also wish that none of us had mental health! Really is the worst of the worst
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah. I don't have an official diagnosis but I can't doubt that I have OCD. My OCD started this year, fortunately I was able to identify OCD a couple months ago. I really feel bad that your OCD has taken away so much from you :( OCD has caused me immense anxiety and it is probably the worst thing I've experienced in my life. I can't afford therapy and I don't understand ERP well enough to do it myself. But I'll keep on trying.
- Date posted
- 3y
There's a really good book that explains ERP very well. Its available on Amazon and called Daring to Challenge OCD by Dr. Joan Davidson. Also check out OCD Stories Post.
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel this, a lot. its taken so, so much from me after going untreated and undiagnosed for so many years. heartbreaking, but I just beat myself up for it constantly.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- Date posted
- 19w
I have had ocd for decades! Could I still be cured???? (Of you can call it that?) I have seen different therapists but it never had fully left me...not by any stretch of the imagination. I do want to be free of this ocd and its power over me and all the bad that it brought into my life!!! Some days I am strong and feel like I am fighting it put other days...many days...I don't get things done or if I do I take a long time to-do the things I need to get done. I feel like I know this is just then ocd stopping me and that these are just thoughts but nobody in my family understands and though they have shared my journey and hated it a I do.....it just feels like I want so bad to be the best person I coukd be but I avoid places, people, things, that have any reminder of my ocd.......and so it restricts me from getting better and completing tasks the way I used to. Now UI might go and make 2-3 trips cuz I am worried to shop at a place and therefore it takes my time up. The avoidance I do is bad! When I actually don't listen to my ocd and don't avoid something...I feel great! ,However, it happens so rarely!!! I.dont know how finding a therapist through NOCD will help me. It is not in person and two be honest I almost think I need medicine to push me along. I don't have anybsteady and consistent improvements. However, I don't think I want to be on medication for the rest of my life! I am very confused!
- Date posted
- 18w
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond