- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel this. Undiagnosed for about 20 years here. Let us look forward with optimism. Life ain't over 'til it's over and every day is a new chance to improve our perspective!
- Date posted
- 3y
Very true.
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! First off, I’m so sorry that ocd has stolen so much from you. If I can have one wish, i would wish for mental health to never have existed because I turly believe that we ALL deserve happiness. However, I can relate. I’m 28 & have been diagnosed with OCD 2 months ago. I’ve realized signed of OCD since I was 7 but never really thought much of it because of physical compulsions. However that changed 3 months ago when I officially seeked help. I seeked help because the new subtype(s) threaten my identity and my relationship with my now fiancé. It is hard to have self empathy, but I’ve realized that is “normal” for those of us suffering from OCD. We’re one of the most compassionate people with our loved ones but we’re too hard on ourselves. Sometimes I do think that my fiancé deserves someone so much more better than me.. someone who’s not a burden because of her mental health. However, I also know from my heart that I love him and I DO deserve to be happy also. Sometimes ocd makes us doubt that we’re ever going to recover.. especially on days when ocd hits a little harder. But don’t give up! I know we can do it. Look at how far NOCD got and how we’re so blessed to have them around this lifetime. I can’t imagine what it was like years ago. Stay strong!
- Date posted
- 3y
I wish that too. It was even harder for me because I do have some checking compulsions, but 95% of my compulsions are mental rather than physical. Which means its much easier to hide. I am so incredibly thankful NOCD. It has changed my life.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lms526 Same here. My compulsions are 95% mental. I make up scenarios to making up conversations to questioning to checking. It’s so annoying and tiring. I wish they were more physical. Being here, reading and answering posts seems like a compulsions now 😭
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous trust me, you do not want 6 hour showers and bleeding skin.
- Date posted
- 3y
@teeth I had compulsive hand washing for a couple months last year when COVID first started. My hands were, red, chapped, and very sore. I can't even imagine having it long term. I wish none of us had compulsions at all. Physical or mental. I wouldn't wish OCD on my worst enemy.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lms526 Sorry, I also wish that none of us had mental health! Really is the worst of the worst
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah. I don't have an official diagnosis but I can't doubt that I have OCD. My OCD started this year, fortunately I was able to identify OCD a couple months ago. I really feel bad that your OCD has taken away so much from you :( OCD has caused me immense anxiety and it is probably the worst thing I've experienced in my life. I can't afford therapy and I don't understand ERP well enough to do it myself. But I'll keep on trying.
- Date posted
- 3y
There's a really good book that explains ERP very well. Its available on Amazon and called Daring to Challenge OCD by Dr. Joan Davidson. Also check out OCD Stories Post.
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel this, a lot. its taken so, so much from me after going untreated and undiagnosed for so many years. heartbreaking, but I just beat myself up for it constantly.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
So I just joined and I’ve been reading through this forum. And I feel a strong sense of compassion for everyone here. Reading about people’s OCD concerns shows me that people with OCD may be particularly sensitive and caring. I have struggled with OCD since I was a kid, but having compassion for other people’s OCD is helping me have compassion for myself. Maybe that perspective might help another person. If we can have grace for another person, we can give ourselves grace as well. I’m working on self forgiveness and gentleness when normally I beat myself up for my intrusive thoughts
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 23w
I was just thinking about how OCD tries to be tricky and switches themes on us!! The amount of times I have said to myself in the past, IF ONLY I HAD THE OLDER THEME I USE TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE THIS NEW ONE IS SO MUCH WORSE!!! Has anyone ever experienced this before? Once I started ERP therapy, I began to really start understanding what mental/physical compulsions I was doing to really keep my OCD alive! While I did this, I would also tap into my self-compassion bucket, even when it felt like it was dry at times, because it was SO easy to judge myself for because of the sheer presence of my thoughts. I would also have the most self-compassion for myself for those taboo intrusive thoughts that really felt so strong, ego-dystonic and real!!! My OCD would hop around from theme to theme and just when I thought I figured it out (compulsion) it would hop again and make me discouraged! I noticed for me that once I really understood my compulsions, it didn't matter when the theme switched as I could tackle it at its core. If I was able to stay steadfast and resist compulsions the best I could, I started to notice that my CONFIDENCE increased in the long run! I also noticed that some of the core fears were the same for different OCD subtypes. OCD treatment is hard BUT living with OCD is harder. I have experienced subtypes including Harm OCD, ROCD, Moral Scrupulosity, Sensorimotor, Contamination, Perfectionism/Just Right, Hit and Run, Magical Thinking, Real Event/False Memory. ERP therapy allowed me to really work on stopping these compulsions and switching from theme to theme. I was fed up with what OCD took from me and I needed to do something about it. I talked to an ERP therapist and it was one of the best decisions of my life. If you are struggling, keep pushing and get the help you deserve!! You got this!!!
- Date posted
- 10w
So... I few years ago, I did self-harm a few times, and then I got super into spirituality, and about a year ago, I remembered I did self-harm and ever since haven't been able to shake the guilt off... Constantly, every day, my mind would make me feel guilty about it and think about it all day. It's like my brain knew the thought that I could/ have cut myself scared me, so it kept bringing it up. My family had no idea I had ever done this, so my OCD told me I was a liar for not telling them about every day. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me anymore and send me to a mental hospital if I told them. About 2-3 months ago, I had gotten so fed up with having these thoughts every day and confessed to my mom what I had done, and her reaction was great. And I thought I'd never have thoughts about when I did self-harm again because I finally confessed. I was wrong. Even with people telling me that it's okay, I did that, I can't shake the guilt I had around this event, and even more so the fear/guilt around my own thoughts... My therapist and I talk about how the problem isn't the thoughts but what the OCD does to them. I try to create positive neural pathways, but that just makes me more stressed about it. There are things I'm supposed to tell myself when I feel negative, but I think I get that confused and tell myself those things every time I have thoughts about what I did. Which is feeding into a mental compulsion (replacing every "bad" thought with a "good" one. What works for me is (if I can) do nothing and have the thoughts... It's been hard to get better because I have had no idea what's been happening to me and felt like for the last year I was going crazy... I always thought OCD was cleaning stuff and physical compulsions . Everything that happened to me happened in my head. On the worst days when my OCD is really bad, every single time I was conscious and aware, I was thinking about the fact that I did self-harm. I would lie in bed all day trying to figure out my thoughts because I thought if I watched TV, I would be avoiding important things. I thought I had to figure out all my thoughts. I would ruminate, replay, and second-guess all. day. long. It was hard to do any of the things I loved; OCD took the joy out of it. It was hard to recognize it was OCD because I thought I had done something seriously bad and wrong, and that I must deserve these thoughts. I think the trick is that you feel like you must have positive thoughts, and the most distressing thing wasn't necessarily the fact that I did self-harm, but the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I find the best thing you can do is just have all your thoughts in your head and try not to separate them from good and bad, if you can. It's nice to have people who understand!!!! More to come, about the journey. My favorite thing to say when I'm stuck is "that sly devil... OCD. Silly OCD is getting to me right now, but it won't last forever. That sneaky guy tricked me again." Love you!!!
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