Anyone have questions about HOCD? I came out as a survivor and willing to help those who needs guidance.

Hocd is one of the hardest especially in todays society where it is accepted. I did feel like i came so close to being gay. But i found the drive and power to fight for what i loved. In hocd you do loose attraction for the opposite sex for a while. But it is still there. Your gf will support you through anyway she can. Its going to feel dull for while so your brain is just numb to the thoughts at this point im assuming

@Anonymous help But this feeling of dullness and exhausting sometimes makes me feel like there’s nothing worth fighting for? Even tho at the start of this episode I wanted to stay with my partner so badly. It’s like my brain is so tired it wants to give up

@BradOCD Your gonna go through probably what i went through. And i am still going through. Its worth fighting for trust me giving in is the easy way out. If you didnt fear it. It would probably be true. You have come so far already just to give up? After HOCD you will probably fall into ROCD relationship ocd it causes you to feel disconnected and you want to stay with your partner so badly. I love mine. But i fought hocd alone. But i found someone who caree about me and im fighting for him and us. I hope ur gf is supportive through it all

@Anonymous help I started off with ROCD and I can’t lie in someways I miss it because it seemed to much easier to handle than this. This feels like it hits so dip whereas I knew that I was in love with my partner. And some days I feel like I don’t fear it but deep down I do… it’s just so confusing. I feel like I must be one of those rare cases where the thoughts are actually true and this is just me realisation. Idk what to do, I’m just so anxious and when I see my partner what used to be full of love and affection is now full of nothing but empty space.

@BradOCD Its ok dont give up

@Anonymous help @bradocd how did you both deal with the guilt and shame. I hated myself for a long time for having these because I have a bf. It didn’t make sense to me why when I was never never attracted to the same sex. My whole life Ive always had crushes on males and I knew I loved my partner. Through HOCD, it was more the repeated phrases like ‘I’m gay, I’m lesbian’ which made me so anxious that I avoided all females. (This was before I knew about ocd) Another thing, I felt guilty cause my bf doesn’t deserve this. How are your partners doing in supporting you ? cause it’s hard for someone who hasn’t experienced ocd to understand and I’m/ was scared people are going to think I’m in denial.

@mm3 Right now before i met him i found that i wouldnt use him as a crutch. But he supported me through all of that. He knew it was in my head so alot of the times he said if your bi your bi ill still love you and if your gay then you are ill still love you. I had alot of shame before telling my parents because they are both catholic and Christian. My dad had hocd once before so he understood. My mom didnf like that idea and said i wouldnt be able to be under this roof anymore. So i had alot of pressure and shame because I couldn’t tell anyone what was happening to me.

It took me a while but i had to focus on something else that being rocd right now. What names are you repeating? Like certain vowels words peoples names?

@Anonymous help the names use to be really bad, I used to be scared to learn someone’s name cause that’s what would be on repeat for the next few hours. It would be on repeat like 50 times a day. constant non stop. It’s been people that I know. People I work with and it use to make me super anxious and nervous when I was around them. It’s a lot better, sometimes I would have no names for a few days even weeks but it comes back like right now and I’m so upset cause of it. It feels like there’s a black cloud over my brain.

@mm3 Yes thats a phase. Ive found that ocd has phases that we go through to get through the fear we have

@Anonymous help so it will go away permanently then ?

@mm3 Not really. The thought or phrase you repeat will pop up once in a while but it wont phase u

@Anonymous help do you take medication ? how long would you say you’ve been recovered ?

@mm3 I do I take prozac its been about three months now

@Anonymous help so you get still get thoughts being on the medication?

@mm3 Um i would say they calm them down alot i dont think medicine can truly heal you i think to bring your ocd down you need to train your brain

Meaning i came out Straight and not having those thoughts anymore

@Anonymous help Oh geez I’m so sorry I thought you meant you “came out” after surviving it.

@Anonymous help How long did u suffer??

@lennygirl I only suffered for almost 6 months