Hi everyone, I really, really could use some support and encouragement today. I had the same thought stuck in my head for the last 3 months. Literally thought about it while I was giving birth 2 months ago. I ended up confessing it today because I didn’t know how else to explain to my partner what was going on. He struggles to understand why I obsess if there isn’t something bigger going on. It’s so hard that others don’t understand. It’s so hard that the thoughts feel so real even when we don’t have evidence for them. It’s so hard that I resisted confessing for three months and still had the same thought. It’s so hard that I confessed, and as predicted, another thought took its place. Now he goes back to work next week from his paternity leave and I will be home with a 2 month old all day every day. I’m so scared I won’t be able to handle this.

Sulli66

Date posted: 3y

It is really hard not to seek reassurance from your partner,what I found helpful was to tell them your having a hard time with the thoughts but you don’t have to be specific,that way they can support you at least,sending hugs 🤗

Onesinglestep

Date posted: 3y

I completely agree. Sometimes confessing only adds the stress of wondering what they are feeling on top of your own feelings. That is why we have our NOCD therapists :) to help us through these tough times, along with guide us on what is right to disclose with our partners, or not disclose.

Warrior25

Date posted: 3y

Don't believe the lie that you'll not be able to handle it. You can. You aren't not any thought. d Doesn't matter how much or for how long they been bothering you. Be patient and kind with yourself. Fixing the thoughts will not help you and you'll be exhausted. If I tell you not to think about a pink elephant guess what you'll be thinking? So it's the same with intrusive thoughts. Now recognizing they are there, like clouds in the sky they will move on. And even if they come back know that you are just the observer and nothing else. They don't say anything about your identity or who you are. You don't need reassurance or fixing. You just need to love and be compassionate with yourself. This will take practice and patience but it can be done. You can decide to do it in the midst of your anxiety and struggle. Don't wait for better conditions. It is now when you need it and the only permission you need is your own. You are capable and able to do it. You are and you will be ok. Virtual hug 🫂

Onesinglestep

Date posted: 3y

I agree with @Sulli66 sometimes we feel like the only way to relieve the anxiety of our intrusive thoughts is to confess, when really all it does is hurt them and bring more stress to the relationship, especially if they dont understand the obsession aspect of these thoughts. Just let them know you are having a hard time and that you still need them to be close and your support. If they truely care about you, they will understand.

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 3y

Thank you everyone 🙏🏻 y’all are amazing

Drew777

Date posted: 3y

Hi Maybe,MaybeNot. I know we haven't talked in awhile, and I know I'm five days late to this post, but I think it's awesome that you were able to go three months without seeking reassurance! I know you're thinking "man, I had to get reassurance about this, I can't believe I did that" but instead maybe try to look at it like "wow, I went three months without getting reassurance about that, maybe next time I can go four months without seeking reassurance!" I'm suggesting this because that's what my therapist told me that I need to work on. I'm normally always putting a negative spin on situations and seeing things in a negative way, but I'm trying to work on looking at things more positively each day. You're right though, everything you mentioned in your post is hard, but you've already proven that your stronger than your OCD, you went 90 days, 90 WHOLE DAYS (give or take) without seeking reassurance about what was bothering you, that's definitely a win in my book! For me going 2 days without seeking reassurance feels like 90 days, lol. Everyone is in a different place with their OCD though and dealing with different circumstances, but you're making improvement, I'm making improvement, and all of our friends on this app are making improvement, just all of us making improvement in different ways and at different paces than each other. Just remember, you can only do your best, and remember to be proud of what your best is for that day. :) Hope everything goes well as you and your husband continue to raise your new baby, I'll be praying for you my friend. God bless Maybe,MaybeNot. :) By the way, happy new year! Hope this year has some awesome stuff in store for you and your family! 😀

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 3y

@Drew777 Thank you so much for your kind words Drew 🙏🏻 praying for you too.

Anony1314

Date posted: 23w

I was a normal mom five months ago. Really sad

One mistake with my POCD thoughts and compulsions, and now I'm a terrible mom. I was amazing five months ago. Now I feel like I'm what I've always feared I'd be. I hate POCD. I just want to be a mom. I really do. I really need some support today

POCD

Anony1314

Date posted: 22w

Someone help me please

Please help me. I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. I'm struggling STRUGGLING today. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support? (edited)

Anony1314

Date posted: 22w

Please someone comment. Struggling POCD mom.

Please please help me. I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. I'm struggling STRUGGLING today. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support? (edited)

POCD

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