ConnorSchep

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Hey guys at universal theme park with my family and my trigger is attractive women and feeling like seeing them/noticing them is cheating on my fiancé whom I love and really want to be loyal to. I tried doing erp with it but now it’s getting to the point where I am depressed and honestly feeling like there is no hope/ $uicidal thoughts. Could really use some help, encouragement, or advice. I’m so exhausted, so upset with myself, and so sick of being scared and worrying about being unfaithful. I just feel like I’m at my wits end here. If there’s a way to encourage without reassurance that would be great!

crc_1394

Date posted: 3y

I can only wish you peace with every passing moment. I know this is beyond words exhausting, but take everything moment by moment. The present is all we have. Deep breaths and maybe even hum something to yourself or think of an interest of yours that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be anything that requires super deep thinking, just something to lighten the heavy feeling :) wishing you well friend

Yakatori94

Date posted: 3y

Hey I’m sorry you are suffering. That is super hard. I know what you mean. I find you just have to keep going with the ERP. Just the other day I had a massive trigger and it took me 3 days to fully get over it using ERP. But that’s okay. It slowly gets less and less. It is just key to be consistant. You can do this!! Just think: you owe it to your fiance to do the ERP so you can be fully present for her. It’s not listening to the OCD that is going to protect her, but doing the therapy skills. You got this 🙏

Yakatori94

Date posted: 3y

Just tell yourself “im just going to take the risk that I cheated and move on with life as usual”

ConnorSchep

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@Yakatori94 Man I just really am having a hard time doing that. I love her so much and I just can’t imagine hurting her, which I feel like this is ya know, so I want to avoid it. In the end I realize that’s the only way through, but wow, I just am really scared of that possibility.

6756

Date posted: 3y

I've have this... had it on n off for years... remember its completely and utterly normal to be attracted to others..its normal human nature... you can be attracted to others and fantasise about others ..again which is normal... just never cheat thats all... and that is the same for every single person on this earth... even your partner will be attracted to others and fantasise... its normal. It doesn't mean you want to cheat on ur partner even if u feel like u could

ConnorSchep

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I understand it is normal to be attracted to others. I don’t know if I agree with fantasizing though, my partner and I have stated that we do not believe it is ok to be having prolonged sexual fantasies about others. I do not want to have them either I/we feel like it is mentally cheating. And I don’t want to do that but I obviously get intrusive thoughts about it.

Secret, coll...

Date posted: 3y

What happens when you're in a private setting with no women other than your finance?

Secret, coll...

Date posted: 3y

*fiance

ConnorSchep

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Hi do you mean with other women than my fiancé? I know I’ve never physically cheated. And I hope I’ve never mentally cheated nor do I want to

Secret, coll...

Date posted: 3y

@ConnorSchep No, I mean what does your OCD do when you don't see the other women

ConnorSchep

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Oh gotcha it either focuses on what I said in the original post. Or a lot of the time it focuses on sexual purity between my fiancé and I. We are waiting for marraige but I always worry that kissing, cuddling, sleeping in the same bed, etc is going to far or is a sin.

ConnorSchep

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@ConnorSchep Also deal with POCD

Secret, coll...

Date posted: 3y

@ConnorSchep So it's active even when not around other women?

ConnorSchep

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Yes my ocd is active constantly

Secret, coll...

Date posted: 3y

@ConnorSchep I find it useful to allow myself some time when I suppress the thoughts (obviously not healthy to do it all the time) so I can experience hobbies or rest, etc

Yakatori94

Date posted: 3y

Also, I find that as you embrace uncertainty, you get less uncertain about your worry haha. Do the ERP and in a few hours/days you’ll realize you did nothing. Do ERP over and over and these thoughts will hardly register. You can so it!! I believe in you 😊

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