- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I can only wish you peace with every passing moment. I know this is beyond words exhausting, but take everything moment by moment. The present is all we have. Deep breaths and maybe even hum something to yourself or think of an interest of yours that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be anything that requires super deep thinking, just something to lighten the heavy feeling :) wishing you well friend
Hey I’m sorry you are suffering. That is super hard. I know what you mean. I find you just have to keep going with the ERP. Just the other day I had a massive trigger and it took me 3 days to fully get over it using ERP. But that’s okay. It slowly gets less and less. It is just key to be consistant. You can do this!! Just think: you owe it to your fiance to do the ERP so you can be fully present for her. It’s not listening to the OCD that is going to protect her, but doing the therapy skills. You got this 🙏
Just tell yourself “im just going to take the risk that I cheated and move on with life as usual”
@Yakatori94 Man I just really am having a hard time doing that. I love her so much and I just can’t imagine hurting her, which I feel like this is ya know, so I want to avoid it. In the end I realize that’s the only way through, but wow, I just am really scared of that possibility.
I've have this... had it on n off for years... remember its completely and utterly normal to be attracted to others..its normal human nature... you can be attracted to others and fantasise about others ..again which is normal... just never cheat thats all... and that is the same for every single person on this earth... even your partner will be attracted to others and fantasise... its normal. It doesn't mean you want to cheat on ur partner even if u feel like u could
I understand it is normal to be attracted to others. I don’t know if I agree with fantasizing though, my partner and I have stated that we do not believe it is ok to be having prolonged sexual fantasies about others. I do not want to have them either I/we feel like it is mentally cheating. And I don’t want to do that but I obviously get intrusive thoughts about it.
What happens when you're in a private setting with no women other than your finance?
*fiance
@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Hi do you mean with other women than my fiancé? I know I’ve never physically cheated. And I hope I’ve never mentally cheated nor do I want to
@ConnorSchep No, I mean what does your OCD do when you don't see the other women
@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Oh gotcha it either focuses on what I said in the original post. Or a lot of the time it focuses on sexual purity between my fiancé and I. We are waiting for marraige but I always worry that kissing, cuddling, sleeping in the same bed, etc is going to far or is a sin.
@ConnorSchep Also deal with POCD
@ConnorSchep So it's active even when not around other women?
@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Yes my ocd is active constantly
@ConnorSchep I find it useful to allow myself some time when I suppress the thoughts (obviously not healthy to do it all the time) so I can experience hobbies or rest, etc
Also, I find that as you embrace uncertainty, you get less uncertain about your worry haha. Do the ERP and in a few hours/days you’ll realize you did nothing. Do ERP over and over and these thoughts will hardly register. You can so it!! I believe in you 😊
I don’t know how to stop confessing. It’s driving me insane. I confess every little thing to my boyfriend. I confessed that I liked attention (this is so obviously human), that I liked it when people found me pretty (also very human??) I confessed about a million other things and I feel out of control. I felt so safe with him last night that it just started pouring out of me. I felt guilty and awful and I just needed release, I couldn’t breathe I felt like I was dying. I’m stuck in a confessing loop and I know I’m only making things worse. Has anyone experienced this and been able to overcome it? It feels absolutely horrible and impossible. I tried to ERP this and I genuinely feel like I am suffocating if I hold off. I feel so disappointed in myself, but I can’t seem to stop. I even had a dream where I confessed to him and woke up needed to confess that. I’m scared I’ll start sharing my worst intrusive thoughts I’ve had if I feel too safe around my bf. Help please :(
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
Specifically how can my fiance best support me without offering reassurance? I'm trying to encourage myself to grow and keep trying ERP, but I'm not sure how I can include my partner in a healthy way. I plan on talking to my therapist about it soon, but I wanted to hear thoughts from people who have been dealing with it themselves.
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