Hey guys at universal theme park with my family and my trigger is attractive women and feeling like seeing them/noticing them is cheating on my fiancé whom I love and really want to be loyal to. I tried doing erp with it but now it’s getting to the point where I am depressed and honestly feeling like there is no hope/ $uicidal thoughts. Could really use some help, encouragement, or advice. I’m so exhausted, so upset with myself, and so sick of being scared and worrying about being unfaithful. I just feel like I’m at my wits end here. If there’s a way to encourage without reassurance that would be great!

any help is really welcomed and appreciated. I tend to hyper fixate on men outside of my relationship, they feel like crushes but I’m like 60% sure they’re meaningless dopamine rushes that happen with people I find interesting, friendship worthy, or physically appealing in some way. My hyperfixation recently shifted to a supervisor, not even an hour after meeting him :/ that’s fine, whatever, I can’t do much about it. I daydream and create like this drama romance in my head. Like good content for a movie or a book. Comparing it to that makes me feel less disloyal, and more understanding of why this might happen (I am a hopeless romantic, I adore stories). I’m home now and I was thinking of wearing a cuter shirt for work tomorrow because I went in an oversized hoodie today. This is a thought I had this morning before even meeting this man btw. But then my brain went to oh yeah I want to look attractive for this hyper fixation. It felt exciting to think that. I felt excited. Then the huge wave of dread hit me. I wanted to look good for another man? For a specific person? I can’t stop panicking I don’t know if this is normal, disloyal, a distortion, or what it is. I’m so confused. I felt happy when I got that thought. Maybe it was a dopamine hit or something I’m Colombian and we’re really big on looking our best 99.9% of the time. Even if it’s just to go to the gas station. I just feel so scared that I felt excitement over this one person. It’s extremely different for my boyfriend’s culture. Almost the opposite. I feel so disloyal and unworthy of my boyfriend. I doubt this was intrusive, it genuinely felt like me and I’ve had thoughts like that in the past. I just feel like a huge monster right now Please help :(

I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?

I am so incredibly terrified of betraying my partner. I love him so much more than I can even describe. He is such an amazing and supportive and kind person, he truly deserves the world. I have been dealing with an ROCD obsession with another person for the past 6 months. This obsession has completely wrecked my mental and emotional health and has caused me to feel physically ill. I have taken every possible measure to ensure that I do NOT cheat on my partner. I’m constantly checking and ruminating on interactions, I make sure to ignore this person whenever they send messages in a group Discord server unless absolutely necessary, I am obsessive about keeping track of the ratio of the number of messages I send in response to them compared to the messages I send in response to other people / the amount of messages other people send in response to them. I am literally considering making a spreadsheet tracking each person in the server’s reply frequency to other people, in order to analyze if I reply to them at an excessive frequency. The few times that I have seen this person in real life (group events), I have made sure to not initiate any conversation with them, to ignore them and not speak unless spoken to, to ensure that I am NEVER alone with them (even when one time they asked me to help them do something really quickly at a party, I made up an excuse because I was worried that going to help them would be cheating). I make sure to sit with other people and not them, I make sure that I never ever ever engage in a conversation in the server where they are sharing “deep” things, and I make sure I NEVER message them privately outside the server. The ONE time they messaged me privately (in response to something that happened in the server), I just sent a gif back and nothing more as the thought of having a conversation in private DMs made me feel like I was cheating. I make sure to talk about my partner frequently in that server (he is actually also in the server). However, I still feel like I am cheating mentally. I have confessed to my partner so many times. I asked him if an interaction was cheating and he laughed and said no. I have confessed to fantasizing about this person and to looking through their social media. He said both were fine. I am constantly wrecked by guilt no matter what I do. If I am just taking part in a group conversation, I analyze every single message and wonder if I have “intentions to cheat” before/after sending it, even when any normal person would just see that message and laugh and wonder how that could possibly be cheating. I have just grown to feel like such a despicable horrible and deceptive cheater. I have confessed so many times, I have told my therapist, and both my partner and my therapist have told me that I have the right to just move on and stop feeling the moral obligation to confess. But I just don’t believe it. It’s so hard for me to believe. I feel horrible. I have a trip coming up with my partner and my family. This is a once in a lifetime trip, taking my partner to my parents’ homeland and visiting my grandma for quite possibly the last time. I am so so so scared that OCD will ruin this trip for me.