- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I can only wish you peace with every passing moment. I know this is beyond words exhausting, but take everything moment by moment. The present is all we have. Deep breaths and maybe even hum something to yourself or think of an interest of yours that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be anything that requires super deep thinking, just something to lighten the heavy feeling :) wishing you well friend
Hey I’m sorry you are suffering. That is super hard. I know what you mean. I find you just have to keep going with the ERP. Just the other day I had a massive trigger and it took me 3 days to fully get over it using ERP. But that’s okay. It slowly gets less and less. It is just key to be consistant. You can do this!! Just think: you owe it to your fiance to do the ERP so you can be fully present for her. It’s not listening to the OCD that is going to protect her, but doing the therapy skills. You got this 🙏
Just tell yourself “im just going to take the risk that I cheated and move on with life as usual”
@Yakatori94 Man I just really am having a hard time doing that. I love her so much and I just can’t imagine hurting her, which I feel like this is ya know, so I want to avoid it. In the end I realize that’s the only way through, but wow, I just am really scared of that possibility.
I've have this... had it on n off for years... remember its completely and utterly normal to be attracted to others..its normal human nature... you can be attracted to others and fantasise about others ..again which is normal... just never cheat thats all... and that is the same for every single person on this earth... even your partner will be attracted to others and fantasise... its normal. It doesn't mean you want to cheat on ur partner even if u feel like u could
I understand it is normal to be attracted to others. I don’t know if I agree with fantasizing though, my partner and I have stated that we do not believe it is ok to be having prolonged sexual fantasies about others. I do not want to have them either I/we feel like it is mentally cheating. And I don’t want to do that but I obviously get intrusive thoughts about it.
What happens when you're in a private setting with no women other than your finance?
*fiance
@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Hi do you mean with other women than my fiancé? I know I’ve never physically cheated. And I hope I’ve never mentally cheated nor do I want to
@ConnorSchep No, I mean what does your OCD do when you don't see the other women
@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Oh gotcha it either focuses on what I said in the original post. Or a lot of the time it focuses on sexual purity between my fiancé and I. We are waiting for marraige but I always worry that kissing, cuddling, sleeping in the same bed, etc is going to far or is a sin.
@ConnorSchep Also deal with POCD
@ConnorSchep So it's active even when not around other women?
@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Yes my ocd is active constantly
@ConnorSchep I find it useful to allow myself some time when I suppress the thoughts (obviously not healthy to do it all the time) so I can experience hobbies or rest, etc
Also, I find that as you embrace uncertainty, you get less uncertain about your worry haha. Do the ERP and in a few hours/days you’ll realize you did nothing. Do ERP over and over and these thoughts will hardly register. You can so it!! I believe in you 😊
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
Specifically how can my fiance best support me without offering reassurance? I'm trying to encourage myself to grow and keep trying ERP, but I'm not sure how I can include my partner in a healthy way. I plan on talking to my therapist about it soon, but I wanted to hear thoughts from people who have been dealing with it themselves.
I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
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