- Username
- ConnorSchep
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I can only wish you peace with every passing moment. I know this is beyond words exhausting, but take everything moment by moment. The present is all we have. Deep breaths and maybe even hum something to yourself or think of an interest of yours that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be anything that requires super deep thinking, just something to lighten the heavy feeling :) wishing you well friend
Hey I’m sorry you are suffering. That is super hard. I know what you mean. I find you just have to keep going with the ERP. Just the other day I had a massive trigger and it took me 3 days to fully get over it using ERP. But that’s okay. It slowly gets less and less. It is just key to be consistant. You can do this!! Just think: you owe it to your fiance to do the ERP so you can be fully present for her. It’s not listening to the OCD that is going to protect her, but doing the therapy skills. You got this 🙏
Just tell yourself “im just going to take the risk that I cheated and move on with life as usual”
@Yakatori94 Man I just really am having a hard time doing that. I love her so much and I just can’t imagine hurting her, which I feel like this is ya know, so I want to avoid it. In the end I realize that’s the only way through, but wow, I just am really scared of that possibility.
I've have this... had it on n off for years... remember its completely and utterly normal to be attracted to others..its normal human nature... you can be attracted to others and fantasise about others ..again which is normal... just never cheat thats all... and that is the same for every single person on this earth... even your partner will be attracted to others and fantasise... its normal. It doesn't mean you want to cheat on ur partner even if u feel like u could
I understand it is normal to be attracted to others. I don’t know if I agree with fantasizing though, my partner and I have stated that we do not believe it is ok to be having prolonged sexual fantasies about others. I do not want to have them either I/we feel like it is mentally cheating. And I don’t want to do that but I obviously get intrusive thoughts about it.
What happens when you're in a private setting with no women other than your finance?
*fiance
@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Hi do you mean with other women than my fiancé? I know I’ve never physically cheated. And I hope I’ve never mentally cheated nor do I want to
@ConnorSchep No, I mean what does your OCD do when you don't see the other women
@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Oh gotcha it either focuses on what I said in the original post. Or a lot of the time it focuses on sexual purity between my fiancé and I. We are waiting for marraige but I always worry that kissing, cuddling, sleeping in the same bed, etc is going to far or is a sin.
@ConnorSchep Also deal with POCD
@ConnorSchep So it's active even when not around other women?
@AnonymouslyMe (see bio) Yes my ocd is active constantly
@ConnorSchep I find it useful to allow myself some time when I suppress the thoughts (obviously not healthy to do it all the time) so I can experience hobbies or rest, etc
Also, I find that as you embrace uncertainty, you get less uncertain about your worry haha. Do the ERP and in a few hours/days you’ll realize you did nothing. Do ERP over and over and these thoughts will hardly register. You can so it!! I believe in you 😊
A few weeks ago I wasn’t having these thoughts but now I can’t stop thinking of my wife with other men and it’s gotten me to start thinking she’s cheating on me or talking to someone else. I’ve started snooping to see if I could find anything and comparing details of our relationship now to inconsistencies a long time ago. Our sex life has diminished and she says it’s her because theres some medical issues we both have. But I have a fear that I’m gonna leave because of the lack of affection and intimacy but can’t because I love her and I imagine that some other guy would bring the freak back out in her that I miss and that I need to fix it somehow but can’t or never will. I keep playing mental movies of her with exes having wild sex and her just with other men in general or her cheating on me. I dunno if it’s rocd but I’m pretty sure it is because I just now realized after she told me I think you have ocd. I pace I obsess about purchases certain drs. Light bulbs keep going off in my head like oh I guess I really do have it. even in past relationships I would always feel a need to know as much about my partners past. Any help is needed I can’t find a therapist right now. Been trying. I don’t know how to apply erp to this. How do I expose my self to it. Thanks in advance. I look forward to this app.
Hi guys I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I have struggled with ROCD for a long time now and it has been hard on my relationship. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and 2 weeks ago he admitted to me that he finds other girls attractive. It seems innocent to me and I know it is normal to find beauty in other people even when in a relationship. I know it’s normal, but I still cannot stop worrying about it. I worry he may find these girls more attractive than me and will develop feelings for them. My boyfriend says he doesn’t find them more attractive and that he only wants to be with me, but I can’t stop these thoughts. I have tried ERP exercises, talked to my therapist and asked my partner for reassurance which only helps temporarily and then the constant worry and agonizing intrusive thoughts come back. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to worry about this anymore. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I just want to be able to accept this and move on.
Just kind of an ERP vent. Anyone wanna talk about this experience? It’s bumming me out. So I’ve been doing ERP exercises daily to help myself get over this theme. I started out with ERP towards the gender I have had intrusive thoughts about (men), and it helped knock out a lot of the intrusive stuff and false attractions, but working on my ERP towards women has been rather difficult. I’m still getting mental blocks. I’m trying to expose myself to them and get over false anxiety and other negative false emotions. It’s worked, but it feels like I’m stuck right now. Anyone else getting frustrated? I know ERP is a process, but it feels like it’s taking absolutely forever. Anyone wanna talk / vent about ERP frustrations?
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