Can real event ocd, or ocd in general make you feel bad for something you did that was actually wrong? I keep thinking about things I’ve done in the past that are defiantly wrong and shitty things. But I’ve never really thought of them before. I knew they were terrible things, and I’ve not gone back since. Maybe 10+ years ago (when I was 19-21). I thought real event ocd was your brain taking things that are trivial and twisting them to make you seem bad. In these cases I’ve grown as a person l, I’m really not proud of myself and hope to never go back to that place. Is this ocd, or am I suddenly just feeling remorse for being a terrible person? I just feel the need to confess to my wife again, even though she knows most of it.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Here’s my deal. 15 years ago my OCD started, or at least I realized it starting with the onset of a memory in which I “did something bad.” More accurately, something out of line with my fully developed character, contradictory to my core values. I can’t explain it, I blame myself, and often feel unworthy, guilt ridden and ashamed. It was the core theme of my OCD for years. Later, My Mind sought out similar memories, actions, thoughts that seemed to relate to the event or extrapolate it’s meaning. Learning that what happened really isn’t the problem and that my inability to let it go is the actual problem, was the most helpful thing in moving forward treating my Real Event OCD and Pure OCD. It only takes a kernel of the truth for real event OCD to latch on. Likely, your mind potentiates the memory and makes it seem worse than it really was. The more severe, the more significant. Causing elevated self doubt. If you really did something bad, seek forgiveness and remember to also forgive yourself. Do the ERP, put in the work and you’ll get through it (learn to live with it). It might seem impossible, but you will have peace again. God Bless.

Ocdislame

Date posted: 3y

Thank you for this. I can’t really go into it, but what I didn’t was definitely wrong. I don’t know if I caused any hurt or pain to whom it was inflicted on, but at this point I can’t really reach out for forgiveness. It’s just something I will have to live with. The thing is, I’ve always known it was wrong, but just kind of moved on and accepted and I guess learned from it. It just always comes up when my ocd is flaring.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@Ocdislame You don’t always need to reach out for forgiveness. Just forgive yourself

Ocdislame

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous Thank you. It just makes ocd that much harder to deal with. Most people here fear they’re just a bad person. But it’s not real to them. For me, some would say I am just a bad person. Or was kind of a shitty one in my past. So it is just true. I don’t know how erp will help with that.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

I’m in the same boat. I actually did something bad but I still was diagnosed with ocd. It can be a bad thing and still be ocd

Ocdislame

Date posted: 3y

But was it something just kind of trivial? Like stealing a candy bar when you were young?

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@Ocdislame No not trivial

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@Ocdislame I’m not going into details only because confessing makes ocd worse and just riding out the anxiety is what I’m taught to do in therapy, but no, it wasn’t trivial.

Ocdislame

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous No worries, wasn’t looking for details. I just feel like a lot of example i see are people that are stressing over things that are wrong but mostly harmless. Doesn’t mean their suffering is any less, but it makes me feel maybe what I’m dealing with isn’t ocd. Thanks for your feedback!

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