- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I used to believe it was. I now be careful with my phrasing when I talk about my mental disorders. I think of my disorders as a seperate thing from me. They are not my identity, they are not a part of me, but moreso I battle with them or I have it. I like to think of my disorder as like some type of little annoying goblin that follows me around. I replace "I keep thinking about" with "my OCD keeps telling me-". It has helped tremendously with my self confidence, and it keeps me from hating who I am because of those thoughts. This is what has worked for me, It was weird at first but it helped
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for this comment, its nice to have another perspective about this!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Solaris Definitely! Everyone has thier own way of dealing with mental illness & identity. It's my own little way to boost my self confidence.
- Date posted
- 3y
I love that! A “little annoying goblin” 🤣
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes a lot. I literally cant dissociate myself from ocd since it's a part of me and it will always be. And thats okay
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah, even though it’s not who we are, we do have to accept that it’s a part of our life. I’ll have to try out balancing that line
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes! I used to feel like my anxiety and ocd were my identity. I get what you mean with the processing phase cause for awhile I felt like all I did was do ERP exposures, listen to anxiety podcasts, read books, etc. There's this quote by @anxietyjosh on instagram that was really good, he said "you've got to stop making anxiety the centre of your life. Our threat response thinks it's being helpful when you give it attention, so when you make "recovery" the focal point of your life, you unintentionally tell anxiety that it's still important." That way of thinking helped me stop identifying with my anxiety, however for OCD, it's a little trickier. I did do what Bluusticks said and named my OCD something (I chose OCD Demon). Idk if you've heard of Dr. Patrick McGrath but he says "There is no 100 percent ability to get rid of your OCD; it is a treatable disorder, and you must always be working to fight it." ...and I'm just like 😐 how is OCD not going to be my identity then? 🤔 😂 So what I do is I keep both of these ways of thinking in mind and try to keep things simple. I have anxiety, but I'm not going to let it be my identity, I'm going to be smart with my resources and not make recovery from it the focal point of my life. I have OCD and while I can't get rid of it, I'm going to continue to face what I can't control so it doesn't control me.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes, that is exactly what I’ve been doing! But I never connected making “recovery the focal point of your life” as a way to actually make the anxiety worse. But I guess we could consider that a compulsion in itself 🤷🏻♀️ Thank you so much for those resources too! I will use them wisely 😁
- Date posted
- 3y
When I was younger, yes. But you can’t let anything take over your life and indenting that way because it’s not healthy and it could even ruin your life and relationships.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 17w
December 14, 2024, marked two years since my first ERP therapy session with my NOCD therapist, Mixi. And October 2024 marked a year of being free from OCD. It was not an easy journey, confronting my fears face to face. Exposing myself to the images and thoughts my brain kept throwing at me, accepting that I might be the worst mother, that my daughter wouldn’t love me, and that I deserved to be considered a bad person. It was challenging having to say, “Yes, I am those things,” feeling the desire to run, but realizing the thoughts followed me. At the start of my therapy, I remember feeling like I couldn’t do this anymore. Life felt unbearable, and I felt so weak. I longed for a time before the OCD, before the flare-ups, before the anxiety, the daily panic attacks. I thought I’d never be myself again. But I now know that ERP saved my life. The first couple of sessions were tough. I wasn’t fully present. I lied to my therapist about what my actual thoughts were, fearing judgment. I pretended that the exposures were working, but when the sessions ended, I went back to not sleeping, constantly overwhelmed by fear and anxiety. But my therapist never judged me. She made me feel safe to be honest with her. She understood OCD and never faltered in supporting me, even when I admitted I had been lying and still continued my compulsions. My biggest milestone in therapy was being 100% transparent with my therapist. That was when real change began. At first, I started small—simply reading the words that terrified me: "bad mom," "hated," "unloved." Then, I worked on listening to those words while doing dishes—not completely stopping my rumination, but noticing it. Just 15 minutes, my therapist said. It wasn’t easy. At one point, I found myself thinking, “Will I ever feel like myself again?” But I kept pushing through. Slowly, I built tolerance and moved to face-to-face exposures—sitting alone with my daughter, leaning into the thought that my siblings might die, reading articles about my worst fears, and calling myself the things I feared. Each session was challenging, but with time, the thoughts started to lose their grip. By my eleventh session, I started to realize: OCD was here, and it wasn’t going away, but I could keep living my life despite it. I didn’t need to wait for it to be quiet or go away to move on. Slowly, it began to quiet down, and I started to feel like myself again. In fact, I am not my old self anymore—I’m a better version. OCD hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s quieter now. Most of the time, it doesn’t speak, and when it does, I know how to handle it. The last session with my therapist was emotional. I cried because I was finishing therapy. I remember how, in the beginning, I cried because I thought it was just starting—because I was overwhelmed and terrified. But at the end, I cried because I was sad it was ending. It felt like I had come so far, and part of me wasn’t ready to say goodbye, even though I had already learned so much. It was a bittersweet moment, but I knew I was walking away stronger, equipped with the tools to handle OCD on my own. If I could change anything about my journey, it would be being open and honest from the beginning. It was the key to finding true healing. The transparency, the honesty—it opened the door to lasting change. I’m no longer that person who was stuck in constant panic. I’m someone who has fought and survived, and while OCD still appears from time to time, I know it doesn’t define me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. Have you started therapy, is something holding you back? Is there something you want to know about ERP therapy? I'll be live in the app answering each and every one today from 6-7pm EST. Please drop them below!
- Date posted
- 17w
Can someone please tell me at what point did you finally accept that it’s OCD? When did the ERP click for you? When did you just stop buying into the lies of OCD and finally let go? Like what does it take. It’s been 2 years of this for me and I’m in ERP currently and it’s just not clicking 😣 is it just me???
- Date posted
- 17w
I’ve been thinking a lot about how OCD changes the way we see ourselves, but I recently realized that I am not my thoughts. Just because a thought pops up doesn’t mean it’s true or that it defines me. I’ve started learning how to see OCD for what it is—just a disorder trying to trick me—and I’ve become stronger in dealing with it. Has anyone else here had a similar realization? How do you handle these thoughts when they show up?
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond