- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I used to believe it was. I now be careful with my phrasing when I talk about my mental disorders. I think of my disorders as a seperate thing from me. They are not my identity, they are not a part of me, but moreso I battle with them or I have it. I like to think of my disorder as like some type of little annoying goblin that follows me around. I replace "I keep thinking about" with "my OCD keeps telling me-". It has helped tremendously with my self confidence, and it keeps me from hating who I am because of those thoughts. This is what has worked for me, It was weird at first but it helped
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for this comment, its nice to have another perspective about this!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Solaris Definitely! Everyone has thier own way of dealing with mental illness & identity. It's my own little way to boost my self confidence.
- Date posted
- 3y
I love that! A “little annoying goblin” 🤣
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes a lot. I literally cant dissociate myself from ocd since it's a part of me and it will always be. And thats okay
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah, even though it’s not who we are, we do have to accept that it’s a part of our life. I’ll have to try out balancing that line
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes! I used to feel like my anxiety and ocd were my identity. I get what you mean with the processing phase cause for awhile I felt like all I did was do ERP exposures, listen to anxiety podcasts, read books, etc. There's this quote by @anxietyjosh on instagram that was really good, he said "you've got to stop making anxiety the centre of your life. Our threat response thinks it's being helpful when you give it attention, so when you make "recovery" the focal point of your life, you unintentionally tell anxiety that it's still important." That way of thinking helped me stop identifying with my anxiety, however for OCD, it's a little trickier. I did do what Bluusticks said and named my OCD something (I chose OCD Demon). Idk if you've heard of Dr. Patrick McGrath but he says "There is no 100 percent ability to get rid of your OCD; it is a treatable disorder, and you must always be working to fight it." ...and I'm just like 😐 how is OCD not going to be my identity then? 🤔 😂 So what I do is I keep both of these ways of thinking in mind and try to keep things simple. I have anxiety, but I'm not going to let it be my identity, I'm going to be smart with my resources and not make recovery from it the focal point of my life. I have OCD and while I can't get rid of it, I'm going to continue to face what I can't control so it doesn't control me.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes, that is exactly what I’ve been doing! But I never connected making “recovery the focal point of your life” as a way to actually make the anxiety worse. But I guess we could consider that a compulsion in itself 🤷🏻♀️ Thank you so much for those resources too! I will use them wisely 😁
- Date posted
- 3y
When I was younger, yes. But you can’t let anything take over your life and indenting that way because it’s not healthy and it could even ruin your life and relationships.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too
- Date posted
- 15w
Finally slept well today! Which is nice. Regardless, I feel like it has destroyed who I am. Its been over a year and a half, and I keep overthinking and questioning my identity and I can’t let it go to the point where I feel that my future is certain, even though I’ve liked myself the entire time and had a pretty stable idea of who I was. My mind has gathered enough proof. I love being a woman, and I don’t want a different body. I wasn’t born in the wrong body. I am obsessing over my voice, which needs no changes, and my chest. After speaking to a friend of a friend, I’m afraid I’ll want a sex change when I finally have a partner. I’m terrified. I don’t know if anyone can relate. I don’t know how to get over this and my first ERP session is in about a week. How do I even go about this? I feel like a monster to my own family.
- Date posted
- 9w
Some background: I’m a woman in my 30s who’s been struggling to find the right diagnosis for years. Since 2022, I’ve had multiple psych hospital stays, and with each stay came a different diagnosis and different sets of medications: Bipolar II, CPTSD, MDD with psychotic features, “high functioning BPD,” and most recently, Schizoaffective Disorder (depressive type). Before all of that happened, I had been seeing a therapist for CPTSD and AuDHD traits for 2 years, but after they left the practice, I struggled to find someone I trusted again. Most of my breakdowns happened during my last relationship. Looking back, I was in survival mode with them, leaving who *I* am behind. I got to the point where I started doubting my own reality from the abuse. This eventually added up and landed me in my first episode of psychosis. That combined with my attempts is what got me my schizoaffective diagnosis. After finally leaving that relationship 1.5 years ago, I’ve slowly rebuilt my life: new town, new job, new friends. Many of my old symptoms (major ones) haven’t returned, which makes me believe I may have been misdiagnosed due to reliving past childhood trauma and stress responses from the abuse. Through all of this, I’ve felt like nothing ever truly fit. I journal, I reflect, I replay the recordings and I’ve even watched old vlogs –the puzzle pieces still don’t come together. It’s left me feeling like I’ll never really know what’s going on, and I’ve started to fear that my diagnoses will just keep stacking up without ever leading to effective treatment. Recently, I opened up to a friend about this. She mentioned that her neighbor went through something similar not exactly like me but she thought it would give me a starting point—multiple diagnoses that never felt right—until a new doctor finally identified it as OCD. That one diagnosis changed everything for her. It made me realize I really don’t know much about OCD beyond the stereotypes. I didn’t know OCD could involve intrusive thoughts, rumination, or mental compulsions. My friend encouraged me to look into it, especially as I start searching for a new therapist. Facebook and Google lead me here… So now I’m wondering: could OCD be a better explanation for what I’ve been experiencing all these years? Questions for the community: 1. What steps did you take to find out if OCD was what you were dealing with? 2. If you had a long history of misdiagnoses, how did you finally find a clinician who got it right? 3. How did you advocate for yourself when people dismissed your concerns? 4. Is there anything you wish you had done earlier in your OCD journey? Thank you so much if you made it this far. I’m really grateful for this space and just want to start finding answers and the right kind of help.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond