POCD TW. Need some help. Hey guys! I hope everyone is doing well as of lately. I’ve been doing ~decent~ better than I was say 4-5 months ago. Due to the Lexapro I’ve been on it’s definitely made a dent. But everyday is still a struggle. Lately I feel as if I’m faking all of my POCD. Everything started with one particular child. I don’t know exactly what, but it started to make me feel like I had feelings or something like that. I hated it. I’ve been an anxious mess since. The thing that’s bothering me is I don’t see much online about people’s OCD particularly targeting one person. I also have it about other children in general. But it’s heavily influenced by one. There is an hour that goes by that I’m not thinking something about the child, sexual or not sexual it can just be general things. My thoughts tell me I want to be around this child, they tell me to walk by her so she will notice me. I hate this and want this to end. I want to go back to myself in September when I was going on dates with girls my age, and thinking about that. I would NEVER hurt a child. Never wanted too. I just need support. I went to a OCD specialist back in January who told me she definitely thought I had OCD. I haven’t been able to go back because of my work schedule. But I want too. I just want to feel normal. Can anyone relate? Idk. I’m just depressed again.

@scared91 i can relate so much to what you said! Right now my pocd really centers around if I find young people (18 or younger really) attractive. Not even if I'm sexually attracted to them, just if I notice if they are good looking or not. But if I notice someone really young who has conventionally attractive features I feel like a creep. I read a post on tumblr (tumblr is honestly so bad for ocd) that was like "kids can't be pretty or ugly because they are kids! they can't be attractive or unattractive because they are not meant to be attractive" which i totally understand and agree with the principle of that statement, but my therapist told me it's normal to notice attractive features on anyone, kids to elders. And obviously noticing whether someone has attractive features isn't the same as being sexually attracted to them, but my pocd mainly targets that and questions if I am.

Yes

I have the same experience

Totally can relate to you! It's really not very nice at all to have pocd. I've had it for the past few years and believe me it does get better with time. Mine started by thinking I was weird for Finding girls of around 13 or 14 attractive and then the age got lower and this is what scared me the most. The annoying thing is that I don't have sexual thoughts about them, it's just that If one is good looking (I recognise it!) I tell myself that at the end of the day if someone is pretty then that is what they are and if they are ugly then that is what they are! That is the be all and end all of it! I hate these thoughts and the only way to help yourselves I find is to say sod the thoughts and whatever too them and say even if they are true then why does it matter? You are not going to act them out (ocd will convince you otherwise of course!) One final thing I do is NO FAP and this means no mastrubation or no porn or anything at all and believe me when I say that this does help! I started off on tame porn when I was younger and the thing is that the more you watch porn the more taboo it will get so break that cycle and STOP WATCHING IT! Please if anyone has the same experiences or something similar please respond.

Definitely the ocd can focus on one thing. There are no limits to what ocd will snag on. Keep pursuing ocd therapy; it makes a huge difference!