Just wondered whether anyone else on here can relate to OCD leading to drink and drug addiction? I’m in recovery now (am sober) but am struggling more with my OCD now that I have nothing to self medicate with. My exhaustion from the intrusive thoughts/compulsions feels just as bad as hangovers and come downs.
I used marijuana to self medicate for years. It would change my entire outlook on my intrusive thoughts and anxiety. They would still come, but it was like I was viewing them from outside of ocd; they didn’t distress me at all. At the same time, I’d often find myself going down the rabbit hole of rumination way more often while high, so honesty it probably only served to make my OCD worse. I’ve recently decided to quit because I was smoking an INHUMAN amount daily, and it stopped being as effective as it once was. Quitting has been very hard, I didn’t realize how much I relied on it til I stopped using it.
That was a great and brave step you took!
From what I’ve learnt OCD and addiction issues are extremely common, so wonder why it’s not talked about more
Totally relate...when alone, at night when the world is asleep I would bury my intrusive thoughts in a bottle.
When I'm drunk OCD is practically non-existent, but the next day often had been hell to pay, as my intrusive thoughts made me wonder, if I maybe had blacked out and committed a crime. I never got addicted to alcohol and barely drink at all, let alone get drunk. I also only ever smoked weed twice as a teenager and never touched any other drug. I'm too worried that any kind of illegal drug could worsen my OCD. But my ex, also an OCD sufferer, had been an alcoholic for many years and he used it to self-medicate.
Maybe it's due to the stress
Hey guys! So I struggle with OCD, especially harm, relationship and moral stuff and I am somewhat recovered now. However, my current girlfriend has started showing signs of OCD but it’s abou5 something I don’t know much about so I wanted to see if anyone on here had thoughts about it. She is constantly thinking about food (when to eat it, what is healthy, what is too much, what is too little) and controls the thoughts by giving in and controlling her entire day around food. She don’t really know the feeling of being full. She never starved herself and always eats, but then she feels extremely guilty afterwards. Her thoughts do have to do a lot with her body image and not gaining weight but also not losing any either. Does this sound like ocd or an eating disorder?
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
