Responding to thoughts
Can someone explain the difference between: - Ruminating vs “acknowledging and feeling the thoughts but letting them pass through you but still not pushing them away” And, “Bad” distraction vs. “good” distraction vs. “avoidance?” I’m confused on the proper way to respond /react to thoughts/feelings (anxiety and guilt) for a specific theme.
I think, overthinking it is only gonna stress you out more. Trust me, this is all I tend to do. Forget the little nuances of trying to control everything even in your recovery. Just start by simply noticing the thought, agreeing with it, or letting it be by saying, “sure or maybe”, then immediately do what you WANT to do. Over time you’ll be able to recognize what you’re doing because you value it and what you’re doing because you want to escape your fear. The goal is to never escape your fear. Be in it. But then your therapist says you have to enjoy your life. Then yes still do those things you enjoy. If they become escapes from your fears, then do them when you want to. Not when you want to escape a thought or fear.
@Anonymous Thank you so much! I’ll try this. I think I started getting too wrapped up in if I’m responding/doing erp correctly etc, which ironically just kept putting more emphasis on the thoughts and feelings
@Anonymous I hope this makes sense. An example is I love playing video games. When I had an obsessive fear setback I started playing games every night to immediately escape or cope. Not knowing this was only reinforcing the fear. So I started relaxing in other ways that were more scaring because they were less engaging. Like watching tv or talking with the wife. My brain and thoughts and feelings were screaming not to do it!!! So I did it, got through it, and now those are normal sources of relaxation again. Think of it as taking your life back from fear/ocd one thing at a time. You feel anxiety saying don’t do this activity for many reasons, you can’t do it, it’s too scary/hard, only this certain other thing or activity will take a at your fear, Then you do that activity your brain says don’t. Then sometimes your brain even takes things that used to be coping mechanisms and makes them scary or anxiety inducing activities, then guess what you do those things. It’s funny how we can bounce around from being anxious doing one thing to another. It’s all just an attempt to control our anxiety and thoughts.
I’m not an expert but for me, ruminating requires a lot of time in my head trying to figure it out. Acknowledging the thoughts is just that. However I won’t entertain it but rather view it in a nonjudgmental way and them float on like clouds in the sky. A good/bad distraction is avoidance. Choosing to sit with the discomfort (thought/feeling) is facing the fear and knowing I can handle it. Hope this helps & didn’t confuse you.
@Dee C Yep that makes sense! It seems like my anxious feelings are more “chronic” and sometimes I feel like I’m sitting with my feelings for days on end. Is that normal? Do I just keep sitting with whatever feelings I don’t like having for days without thinking too much into it?
Exactly. You may not like the feelings but you don’t have to sit there worrying/wondering about them either. You can choose to go about your day. In my journey I learned feelings are not facts. It’s like going to the ER thinking you’re having a heart attack and after all the tests come back negative, the doctors tell you that you’ve had a panic attack.
That makes sense. And is a really good point as I never thought about it! I think my biggest issue is just figuring out how to not ruminate or even figure out when I am ruminating and how to cut it off. I have trouble differentiating between ruminating and “being in it” but not ruminating. I think ruminating is one the one compulsion i can’t figure out how to not do
Part of my OCD is always trying to get into the bottom of things (if I freak out thinking about death or illness or losing someone or contamination, then I will roam all the internet for searching for informations on the subject even though it worsens my anxiety and never leaves me with a "clean" feeling of certainty or peace or acceptance). And recently I realized that if I have an anxious thought that arises in my mind it'll just go away if I leave it be and don't stop what I'm doing. But stupidly enough I feel guilty for doing that because I get the feeling that I should engage more with my fears and if I just ignores them and they go away I'm worsening the situation ... What is the line between ignoring the problem by distracting yourself and simply allowing your mind to move on ?
Hi guys! I’ve been trying to figure out how to respond to intrusive thoughts & rumination. I know some things you can say are “so what” or “hmm okay” “maybe”, ect. But what are some other good ones? I’m kind of struggling to understand what it means to fully not engage with a thought. If I have an intrusive thought- I struggle to tell the difference between thought stopping & not letting myself engage. Any tips/ clarification would be much appreciated!
Does anyone have any tips for how to distinguish between thought suppression and stopping rumination? Struggling with rumination at the moment and trying to respond with "I'm not going to answer that" and not engaging, but feels similar to pushing the thoughts away? Any advice would be much appreciated!
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