- Date posted
- 2y
Real Event Fear
Does anyone else struggle with being publicly shamed and cancelled for your mistakes in the future? It feels so intolerable for me and it’s my biggest fear. Does anyone have any advice?
Does anyone else struggle with being publicly shamed and cancelled for your mistakes in the future? It feels so intolerable for me and it’s my biggest fear. Does anyone have any advice?
Yes indeed. I am sorry you are dealing with this - and I can empathize with you. With ERP therapy and lots of practice I have learned how to live with the intrusive thoughts. Not knowing where you are in your ERP journey I will give you an example of how I might handle your situation. If this seems like it is too difficult then don’t do it - I am in recovery but I want to respect the fact that not everyone is there and so I offer my suggestion only. When I get the intrusive thought that I am going ti be humiliated and shamed for something that has happened in my past, I acknowledge the thought as intrusive and then I go into response prevention mode. I might say something like well that’s interesting or thanks for nothing ocd. Or I will agree with the thought and say yes this could definitely happen but all I have is this moment and guess what it is not happening in this moment so I am going ti live my life and IF you are right ocd I will need only deal with it then. Until then I live in the present moment because that is all that I have. Again, this is not easy and I have gotten there with a lot of practice l, but it works. Does the anxiety disappear - nope. What has changed is my response - the anxiety is still there it is just that I don’t give it the weight it once had. I hope this helps you.
@Jeffrey Yes it does thank you! Will the anxiety go away the more you practice that?
@Lalilolou I read your bio and my trigger for OCD was exactly the same😭 how long did it take you to recover?
@Lalilolou It doesn’t necessarily go away but it is more manageable.
@Jeffrey Good to know thank you!
I can definitely see how this could be triggering. Remember that these fears are just like any other OCD thought. OCD is working to get your attention. It plays to what it knows will scare you. Say something back to the thought like, “maybe I will be publicly shamed, maybe I won’t. Maybe I will get publicly cancelled, maybe I won’t. Worrying about it won’t help me figure it out.” Sitting in this uncertainty will help ease the power of OCD. This is a great article with some helpful info :) https://www.turningpointpsychology.ca/blog/real-event-ocd?format=amp
@adelinesdragon Thank you😭 it just feels like if that happens my life will be over Ans it will make my worst fears come true😭
Yea I feel like cancel culture is a big trigger for me
Yup….
What ERP or other techniques do you use to combat fear of cancelation? Especially curious about those with taboo thoughts, false memory ocd and event ocd based off of real events where the fear of cancellation may actually hold some validity. I once did my own ERP not under a therapist but just on my own I decided to create an anonymous account on Twitter and defend a friend who was receiving online criticism. I knew that this would be semi-controversial so I was expecting backlash and when I recieved troll replies it actually seemed to be a really helpful low-stakes exposure activity. Is this something that others have done? Low stakes online posts etc. that you know will recieve negative responses? I have had severe OCD as a kid as pretty much every subtype under the sun, and as an adult I pretty much have all the types under control except for this real event and false memory and taboo thought OCD. It seems like a different beast since it's somewhat realistic in the camcellation culture today, and it's confusing to address. Ive shut down almost all social accounts and it's keeping me from progressing in a career where I need to have an online presence :/
I look back at various past events in my life where I said or did things that I feel really guilty, disgusted, and ashamed about. I replay them in my head for hours. I feel anxious about crossing paths with people that I've hurt or upset in the past or who perceive me badly, to the point that I will avoid going out in public as much as possible. I go out for work, errands, appointments, and occasionally to eat (even though those all give me a lot of anxiety), but I avoid community events where people might recognize me and I tend to isolate myself. The only people I see regularly are my boyfriend, my parents, and my coworkers. I live in a small community and I'm worried about people confronting me publicly and proving what a bad person I must be.
With real event OCD, I don’t know if any of you feel this way, but do you ever feel that the past event(s) that you ruminate about or constantly obsess about are gonna come up in your future and just absolutely ruin you, that’s how I’ve been feeling for months, it just feels like impending doom, and I hate having to even think that my future would be ruined by what I did as a teenager, and I did some dumb things, that I regret so deeply, I just can’t stop thinking about that.
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