Can I ask

Hello, I have the same ocd about that but I’m a guy so I have the fear of getting someone pregnant. I think for me at least, the value is being free and not having to be responsible for another human. I fear my life will be taken away from me and I will never get to accomplish or do everything I want in life. The thought of having a child that is mine scares me because of that. I value my freedom and not having to worry about raising another human. I value wanting to be by myself. OCD about this makes me wash my hands all the time because I am always afraid I have sperm on them and if I touch something or someone it will get inside them somehow. I am afraid of anything sexual and I get so stressed out that someone I know will get pregnant somehow and I question if I did something or not with them even if I know I didn’t. I just get crazy images and thoughts in my head that I did something.

This is very common for sure in OCD. I think it is important to recognize that underneath the themes or flavors of OCD, there are core fears- those typically hit at what we value. For you, it could be so many things, like the idea of wanting to be ready when you become a parent, but also think about what OCD demands- certainty- control- what could seem more out of control then an unplanned pregnancy or one that you accidentally got via sperm somehow, that's how OCD works- it wants to insert this nagging doubt, what of this or what if that. The key here is learning to accept that in life there will be uncertainty, and things that happen that are out of our control- that is where the fear really is at. Hope this helps.

I also have this intense anxiety and thoughts about getting pregnant accidentily, and I know it is technically impossible, but I misremeber experiences, and start doubting what happened and then ask for reassurance from other people on what happened and it just makes me feel like they think I am losing my mind. Requiring the constant validation that I did not come into contact with sperm and did not become pregnant is not great at reassuring me.

I’m so sorry to hear that OCD has latched onto fears of getting pregnant. You are not alone, I have also dealt with this fear and I know many others have as well. Treating this obsession like any other obsession is key here! Try to use some non-engagement responses to combat these intrusive thoughts. “Maybe, maybe not” or even agreeing with statements can be helpful to stop the rumination process. You got this!