Is it common to feel attracted to others while in a committed relationship?

ROCD? Cheating OCD?

Is it normal to find someone else attractive. When I get this thought or feeling.. whatever it is.. I feel as though I’m about to act on something. Or I guess my fear is that I WANT to act on something even though I know I don’t want to because I love my partner and family and I don’t want to jeopardize it. But I still get this urge when I find someone attractive and so my best idea is to avoid them. Does this happen to anyone else in a long term relationship/married? It makes me feel horrible and I hate having to confess this.

Username: KaylaJenaeKaylaJenae

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I go through the same thing in my long term relationship but it’s perfectly normal to find other people attractive in a relationship as long as you dont act on those thoughts there is nothing to worry about. You’re still human in the relationship or not so ofc you will see other attractive people but the important thing is you look, acknowledge and intentionally chose your partner thats real love. Maybe don’t confess it if it’s only a thought

Username: girlanongirlanon

Date posted: 1y ago

Honestly, don't hate me, but I think you're looking for reassurance and I think the confession and avoidance is a compulsion. I relate to this with my SOOCD and I've had to recognize that I've got eyeballs and therefore will notice when people are good looking, and it doesn't have to mean anything

Username: MayteMayte

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel you

Username: pureolifepureolife

Date posted: 1y ago

Definitely ROCD and cheating ocd. And I’m wondering how well versed you are in ocd currently. Are you working with an ocd specialist? Hopefully you know that avoiding them is a compulsion and will actually makes these thoughts/urges stronger over time — keeping you trapped in the ocd cycle. You can have two seemingly conflicting ideas or feelings at once. “ I find this person attractive AND I would never act on it because I love my partner and our lives together.” Thoughts and feelings are things we cannot control and often they aren’t even very accurate. (Maybe they are attractive but upon acting on it you’d actually be super disappointed.) Our responsibility comes in how we respond to these thoughts and urges. So respond in a way that weakens your ocd: don’t avoid. Allow the thoughts and feelings to be there. Accept their presence. And make choices and actions in line with your values. What’s good for you and your relationship is managing your ocd effectively.

Username: 6756

Date posted: 2y ago

Relationship ocd

Hi ... so im suffering with relationship ocd... my partner is the best and I love her to bits... but I'm constantly checking my attraction towards other women to see how attracted to them I am and constantly imaging that if I were put in a situation (erotically) where I had to say yes or no to cheating would i 100% be able to say no? And then I'm not sure if I could... (this is all Purley based on attractiveness) which scares the crap outa me!! And sometimes I feel.like I'm more attracted to some other women rather than my partner (physically) and question if this is normal? Is it? Is this relationship ocd? :( :(

Relationship OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD

I just wanted to ask a quick question. I love my partner and have ocd but whenever I feel pretty or try to dress nice, an instant image pops in my head of another guy at work. This makes me feel like it’s proof I like that guy but I have no interest what so ever, I love and am obsessed with my partner. What is happening, and is this normal?

Username: BSVWYIRGN

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m scared of being a cheater

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year coming this May. I have never had feelings for someone like this and I genuinely see myself living the rest of my life with him. Talking to him comes effortlessly. He sees me for all that I am and works with me. My family has already begun developing a connection with him as well as I have with his family. I’ve never felt so at home until meeting him. Lately my ROCD symptoms have been playing on the narrative of him either finding a new girl that interests him and is somehow “better” than me OR me ruining our relationship because of potential cheating I have absolutely no actual interest in cheating because I know he’s my person and so am his. I know I’m going to marry him and I know that I want him to be the father of my kids. I want to see him grow and I want to build a foundation of unconditional love with him. So why do I shame myself? There’s this shop that him and I go to quite frequently, and the last time we went an employer that we typically see every-time we come began talking to me personally. We were all just talking about movies but my boyfriend mentioned that he felt like he was flirting with me. I begun feeling bad like I was doing something wrong. My mind started telling me that I liked having him “flirt” with me and that it made me feel desirable and confident in knowing that I was still considered attractive. I’m scared because now everytime we go the employee seems to be staring at me and when I went today he actually gave me something for free which led to me thinking I was playing into the flirting narrative and that this would lead to something worse (Though I still have no interest in doing so, just anxiety about that happening is the best way to put it) Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is there any advice that can be given? I don’t think anything’s going to happen, but what If I do like knowing someone likes me even if it’s not reciprocated? Does that make me a cheater? Or is that the product of unresolved self worth issues?

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Is it common to feel attracted to others while in a committed relationship?

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