- Date posted
- 2y ago
Success stories?
I’ve been having a hard time lately, and could really use some hope right now :”)
I’ve been having a hard time lately, and could really use some hope right now :”)
I had POCD way back when…and I no longer have it on a regular basis. It feels real sometimes when I think about it but I’ve come to the other side of the mountain and it’s hardly on my radar anymore. I’m always more worried about other things, but I figure I’ll get through them too.
TW: suicidal ideation I had severe agoraphobia for several years (started in 2016) and I couldn’t leave my house. At all. I couldn’t ride in the car or even step out into my own backyard. I was so anxious I wanted to die and my parents were very close to sending me to a hospital to go inpatient. However, only 3 months after starting NOCD’s program (in late December of 2022) I was traveling several states away, to Florida to go to Disney World with my family. Now I have almost no anxiety leaving my home, and if I do happen to have a panic attack while I’m out, I know how to recover from it and not let the fear ruin the rest of my day. We are more afraid of feeling the fear than we are of the thing that is making us afraid, because the feeling of fear is extremely unpleasant. But my therapist tells me, “It’s just a feeling. Feelings are not inherently good or bad. It all depends on how you respond to them.” And I’m sorry you’ve been having such a difficult time lately. OCD is horrible. But things really do get better, and if I could succeed, I know you can too. It’ll be okay. Trust your therapist and know that the feelings won’t last forever. I believe in you 💖💖💖💖
I’m not out of the woods of ocd. I have current oc’s that I’m suffering from/ working on lol. BUT I no longer spend time unlocking and relocking my front door. I just lock it and walk past it now. Sometimes I can leave it unlocked even!
I still struggle but my god things have gotten easier. I was having 5-6 panic attacks a day, taking 2 diazepam a day, waking up at 4am every morning with the most horrific anxiety. I was terrified to be around my baby because of the POCD and at one point was terrified I had psychosis. I now haven’t had one panic attack in nearly 3 weeks, I leave the house on my own, I spend all day with my son on my own without feeling anxious, I go and spend time with people and enjoy myself 💗 I still have a long way to go in terms of recovery but I’m out of that dark hole that OCD can get you in to. I honestly believed I would never benefit from treatment and that my OCD was ‘different’ to everyone else’s
Ill be honest, I want to write a letter if anything happens, if I loose this battle and put and end to it. But even if my thoughts keep coming, I try to keep my head up, stand up strong and look them at them for what they are, thoughts. I’m still scared, I still can’t go to sleep normally, but I feel a tiny bit of hope. I really hope my feeling is right, I really hope. Whathever happens, I’m still proud of myself, I’m still proud of my achievements, I am proud of me. Whathever happens, please don’t forget This message. Please, don’t forget me
I’ve been trying my best with ERP and just everything that’s going on. I have severe OCD, GAD, PMDD, panic disorder, recently diagnosed ADHD, and currently experiencing a major depressive episode. Apparently. I was taking a break from this app but I really need support right now. My family is honestly really mean and not understanding of what I’m going through. Right now it’s gotten bad to the point I had to withdrawal from my last semester of university. My only support is my boyfriend and he’s now planning to join the military. I won’t be able to talk to him for 3 months and I feel really scared of being alone with all of this. I know I shouldn’t depend on him to begin with but right now I’m at an extremely low point and I feel like I won’t make it alone. There hasn’t been a single day we haven’t texted and talked in 4 years. I feel really scared, but I don’t want to hold him back. You guys, I feel so sad and terrified right now. I don’t want him to go, he’s all I have.
December 14, 2024, marked two years since my first ERP therapy session with my NOCD therapist, Mixi. And October 2024 marked a year of being free from OCD. It was not an easy journey, confronting my fears face to face. Exposing myself to the images and thoughts my brain kept throwing at me, accepting that I might be the worst mother, that my daughter wouldn’t love me, and that I deserved to be considered a bad person. It was challenging having to say, “Yes, I am those things,” feeling the desire to run, but realizing the thoughts followed me. At the start of my therapy, I remember feeling like I couldn’t do this anymore. Life felt unbearable, and I felt so weak. I longed for a time before the OCD, before the flare-ups, before the anxiety, the daily panic attacks. I thought I’d never be myself again. But I now know that ERP saved my life. The first couple of sessions were tough. I wasn’t fully present. I lied to my therapist about what my actual thoughts were, fearing judgment. I pretended that the exposures were working, but when the sessions ended, I went back to not sleeping, constantly overwhelmed by fear and anxiety. But my therapist never judged me. She made me feel safe to be honest with her. She understood OCD and never faltered in supporting me, even when I admitted I had been lying and still continued my compulsions. My biggest milestone in therapy was being 100% transparent with my therapist. That was when real change began. At first, I started small—simply reading the words that terrified me: "bad mom," "hated," "unloved." Then, I worked on listening to those words while doing dishes—not completely stopping my rumination, but noticing it. Just 15 minutes, my therapist said. It wasn’t easy. At one point, I found myself thinking, “Will I ever feel like myself again?” But I kept pushing through. Slowly, I built tolerance and moved to face-to-face exposures—sitting alone with my daughter, leaning into the thought that my siblings might die, reading articles about my worst fears, and calling myself the things I feared. Each session was challenging, but with time, the thoughts started to lose their grip. By my eleventh session, I started to realize: OCD was here, and it wasn’t going away, but I could keep living my life despite it. I didn’t need to wait for it to be quiet or go away to move on. Slowly, it began to quiet down, and I started to feel like myself again. In fact, I am not my old self anymore—I’m a better version. OCD hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s quieter now. Most of the time, it doesn’t speak, and when it does, I know how to handle it. The last session with my therapist was emotional. I cried because I was finishing therapy. I remember how, in the beginning, I cried because I thought it was just starting—because I was overwhelmed and terrified. But at the end, I cried because I was sad it was ending. It felt like I had come so far, and part of me wasn’t ready to say goodbye, even though I had already learned so much. It was a bittersweet moment, but I knew I was walking away stronger, equipped with the tools to handle OCD on my own. If I could change anything about my journey, it would be being open and honest from the beginning. It was the key to finding true healing. The transparency, the honesty—it opened the door to lasting change. I’m no longer that person who was stuck in constant panic. I’m someone who has fought and survived, and while OCD still appears from time to time, I know it doesn’t define me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. Have you started therapy, is something holding you back? Is there something you want to know about ERP therapy? I'll be live in the app answering each and every one today from 6-7pm EST. Please drop them below!
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