Feel bad for saying this but I wish i had another theme of ocd not harm ocd. One that doesn't make me isolate myself. I'm sorry in advance.

I've got my appointment with psychiatrist on the 13th of this month. I wish I'd just got myself private therapy. When I first tried to seek help I was told I had to wait a year for the appointment! ? It was only after speaking with a crisis team when I was in hospital with severe sickness that my appointment got pushed forward. I really do need therapy. I'm really glad yours has helped you so much ❤️

You will overcome this! Just keep swimming ❤️

I haven't made much progress at all though I feel so weak ? honestly I don't trust myself. And isolation has become such a habit now I don't know how to break free. I'm sorry guys I'm not trying to seek reassurance just need to get it off my chest. Thank you for believing in me I wish i could ?❤️

Make sure you get yourself the support you need and deserve. A therapist is so so important for recovery. I love mine, she's helped me so much. ❤️

That's great!! That's so soon!! Make sure the psychiatrist is a good one though and one you can trust!

I don't have much faith in him before I've even met him I know that sounds bad ? but the mental health service in the UK is terrible. ?

Aww well still give it a try though, he might surprise you, who knows. Gotta stay optimistic in hard times like these! ❤️

Thank you ❤️ and that's true. The power of positive thinking I need to practice it alot more. I've never been a positive thinker though even before this ocd got bad. ❤️

???❤️

I’m with you on the same boat here. It really sucks, and I also have hocd and existential ocd which makes harm ocd feel worse. My mind is just too loud it’s scary and exhausting but you’ll push through this?? high hopes for you my friend

I know how you feel, I see all those sexual orientation posts and really wish that I had that theme instead of mine, but every theme feels like the worst at the moment. I’m sorry that you feel like this, and I’m glad you’re starting therapy soon, just hang on, things will get better.

Thanks guys. Thanks for not judging what I said I feel bad for saying it but it's just how I'm feeling. Ocdsucks.. I'm sorry youre in the same boat I really am I know how hard it is to deal with harm ocd. I have high hopes for you too. We have to lift eachother up ❤️? Tqh.. Thank you ❤️I feel exactly the same! I I do feel guilty for saying but honestly I would rather have the ocd around my sexual orientation it wouldnt bother me if I was concerned about what my sexuality is but I guess that's why I don't have that type of ocd cos it doesn't matter to me wether I'm gay or straight! Thank you for being so understanding I really appreciate it. I'm just anxious and annoyed at everything today including myself ? ❤️?

Hocd is more of a you have to have it to understand it type of ocd. I’m sure someone without harm ocd would say, “well it’s so stupid just don’t kill someone” it’s hard when your mind is bombarded with constant thoughts going against your wishes and makes you question them. That’s exactly the same with hocd. You know even people who are okay with being gay or straight still get the continuous thoughts. It also goes against who you believe you are which worries people and alerts them of danger so they treat it as one. And of course like any other ocd, it invites itself. So every ocd has certain disadvantages and it’s not like we can shrug them off. Just factual information I hope it helps to understand a little bit :)

Yes that's so true. People without it just can't see the problem with it ?seriously I'd never wish it on anyone. Yeah I know I'm trying to have more empathy about other types of ocd. I guess I just get a little bit bothered when it's constantly the same posts over and over again about fears of being gay or lesbian and especially when the people are so young. It's normal to question sexuality at a young age and normal to be confused but I can see how someone with ocd would turn that into a massive worry. I do feel bad for saying I'd rather have that type of ocd. I do understand I'm just feeling frustrated about my own ocd and my problems. I'd never want to put anyone down ? just saw a homophobic comment on a post a few minutes ago and it really annoyed me. Today has just been a bad day ? so again I'm sorry if I offend anyone. I am someone who has a lot of empathy aswell as sympathy for anyone going through ocd ❤️

No worries! We all have a habit of doing this out of frustration from our own ocd and problems. I too can admit I often times wished I had other ocds because they’d be “better” than this but I’m so completely wrong because they all suck, whether ones worse than the other they all equally suck and I have a lot of empathy and sympathy for others too, so I respect you a lot:) but with ocd I started questioning my emotions and empathy towards others which is so far from who I am naturally. I guess it’s super hard for me to take it as just thoughts because they go so morally wrong from who I am and ocd has morphed my brain with all kinds of new knowledge that is the negative kind. I wouldn’t want anybody to go through this I’m just mad at the fact that it’s a thing. I’m always here if you want to talk?

Yes that is very true, you are right they do all equally suck ? and I really wish everyone could be free of any kind of ocd because its hell to go through. My frustrations just lead me to say and think things I wouldn't normally say which I hate because I know deep down I'm a caring person with a lot of empathy, love and sympathy for anyone going through a tough time ? I respect you too ?❤️ I've done exactly the same especially with questioning my emotions, I guess the ocd just makes us over analyse everything ? And I find it very difficult to take it as just a thought because like you said it is so morally wrong from who you are as a person. Like why do i have these urges and thoughts of punching people because I hate violence and would never want to harm anyone! Thank you though I appreciate it, I'm always here if you want too talk too ❤️❤️

Yes exactly! Deep down we know we’re never capable of doing this but ocd is so urgent and loud and merciless. My mind is so heavily drowned in ocd that I look at life and everything weird now. Which also makes this theme worse. But I hate violence and wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, I know that for a fact. Some really quick moments pass by in my mind for just a split second and give me a split second of relief because it’s coming from my logical conscious beneath this which should give me hope I’m still down there somewhere but when the heavy thoughts just weigh down my shoulders it’s hard to climb back up. I hate over analyzing everything possible. Most of the times I get super pissed at the world because I’m going through this and it feels like an endless loop of a nightmare playing while I’m awake so sleeping feels the same as being awake.

You really have just described exactly how I'm feeling ?I finally feel like someone fully understands this hell. Im just so sorry you are going through the same it's so difficult to live like this. In fact I'm not living just existing that's how I feel anyway. My mind also feels drowned as does my body. I also look at life and the world very differently and it's a physical and mental thing like when I'm outside things actually look different and weird. I have those moments of relief too, and moments where I think yes I can overcome this! But they never last for very long. It really is a nightmare. And what you said about sleeping too! I feel you. I don't sleep very well at all. And especially now. And my sleep has become an obsession. I really am sorry youre going through this wouldn't wish it on anyone ?❤️❤️

I’m sorry you are aswell? it really is difficult to live like this for no reason when you could be living the carefree simplicity life has to offer. It’s hard for me to imagine what peace and happiness is like because it feels like I’m so wired out of reality that I’m not used to the fact that people can be happy and deserve it. And I also feel like I’m just existing because what’s to live when you’re constantly in such fear? And so do I! I look at things super weird and meaningless now. And insomnia sucks it really is a hell. I understand you completely

Having to resist the urge to snap at people who are always posting about their sexuality. Like why does it matter if you are gay or lesbian? Why is it such a big thing. But I'm trying to have empathy cos I know having any type of ocd is horrible. But I just think theres so many worse themes than homosexual ocd. I also notice it seems to be teenagers that suffer with that type. They need to give theirselfs chance to grow and mature.

Want to talk!*^

Yes exactly ? oh how I long to live a carefree life. And a peaceful one. I can't even remember what peace feels like. We both deserve so much more than this and I hope we can overcome this and achieve better days full of peace and happiness ❤️ I feel like you really understand what I'm going through. I just hate the thought someone else is suffering as much as I am. We need to have a little more faith in ourselves I think, but it is so hard. ? But remember you aren't alone. ❤️