- Username
- mktropeano
- Date posted
- 5y ago
TRIGGER WARNING mine is centered around people causing shootings and kidnappings out in public. i am scared to leave my house out of fear of something happening and it’s turned into an all day compulsion. literally my every thought now :(
Girl yes
^ to the comment above: I understand your pain. You are not alone.
I really do!!
@anonymous07 how do you deal with it? i’ve always been paranoid but it’s gotten really bad in the last month. like so bad i can’t leave my house
I go to a therapist that helps me out. I want to announce that the next paragraph may contain a trigger warning: TRIGGER WARNING: I am often worried about things like technology overhearing my worst moments and somehow recording them and sending them out into the entire world and the whole world turning against me for a stupid thing that I did. I go to therapy and I find a lot of help from there. Never forget: recovery is always possible!!
I had a paranoia obsession when I was younger. This was before I was diagnosed and getting treatment. I would check tons of times that I hadnt logged into anything and was logged out, that I didnt go to certain websites, and avoided email as much as possible. I also checked excruciating numbers of times to see if I had dropped anything incriminating. I also would sit still for as long as possible and check to see if the folds in my clothes were the same, just to make sure I didnt do anything like go on the conputer (or touch something unclean, but thats another story). Because I had no therapist or anything, I did ERP by accident. I felt like I had dropped something (I hadnt though) in a classroom, but I couldnt go back and check because the next class needed the room immediately. So I went home, decided to check later, but so many hours had passed, I just got bored with the thought. Also one time I was tranporting two large full cups of hot coffe and had to make it to somewhere within 5 minutes, so I physically could not go back and forth checking to see if I had dropped something, else my coffee would spill, or I would be late. This was involuntary ERP!
Really thought about whether or not to post this but I’m really struggling and wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing/what helped them out of it. I have fears of psychosis/schiz/delusions and I started having intrusive thoughts that sound and feel delusional even though I know they’re not true, and I don’t actually believe them. I obsess over whether I think they’re true and if I’m actually delusional, then I start to feel really disconnected and dreamy (like derealization?) but then I get worried that I’m actually dissociating and/or losing my mind. I rly struggle w these thoughts as they make me so uncomfortable and make me feel like I am delusional. I will reread things I wrote, rethink things I have already said to make sure they’re coherent, argue w my thoughts, constantly check to make sure I know who I am, where I am, know who my family is, etc. to ensure I’m not losing my mind. My themes switch from this, to harm ocd and I’m just really having a hard time w the thoughts mixed w the disconnected feeling. It makes me want to stay in bed forever and cry because I don’t wanna feel this way anymore. Any advice would be so helpful.
hi! I really need someone to help out right now. I would appreciate it so much. Thanks:) I know this is kind of long, but please help me out and read it. please help confirm for me that the symptoms im experiencing are just extreme existential OCD, depersonalization, and anxiety. it would make me feel a lot better. 7-8 months ago a traumatic event led me to experience severe depersonalization. ive had OCD for as long as i can remember basically, but it’s become a lot worse from this. i am a very big overthinker, so i tend to over analyze a lot of the things going on around me, my perception of everything, my thoughts, etc. it’s gotten so bad because of the depersonalization that i at times really can’t function anymore. one day, all i’ll be able to think about is the irrational fear that i somehow am going to die and there’s something terribly wrong with my brain, like cancer or something. then the next, i’ll be freaking out, worrying that im gonna go crazy. like this is some kind of early onset schizophrenia. i start doing research and i start obsessing over each and every thought i have, everything i see, etc. then i’ll be paranoid about my family, worrying that none of them are real and they’re imposters or something. i know it’s irrational. i recognize that and don’t genuinely believe it. but the fact that this thought worries me concerns me even more because it leads me to believe im going crazy. i am having existential crises regularly. like, all the time. it’s actually ridiculous. i’ll be reading a book and i start contemplating the English language and how it came to be, and then language altogether, and then how humans were able to create and understand language, and then how they were able to sound it out, how sound exists altogether, and so on. lol. like what the hell? a few days ago i was looking out of my bedroom window, and all the sudden had the intrusive thought come into my head, “what if this is just a simulation and what you see outside of your window is merely a two dimensional image?” and then i almost had a full on panic attack. anyways, those are some examples. i’m so worried. i feel like i have no control over what freaks me out anymore. i feel like i have no control of my brain altogether. i don’t want to go crazy. i don’t want to feel like im stuck in a dream anymore. im so scared. somebody please help me. i live my life in fear, worrying about everything i perceive. im exhausted. i can’t tell anyone because i don’t want them to worry, or think that im going crazy. that’ll only reinforce my fears.
Hi friends! I have been really struggling with sleep problems lately because of my OCD. I either deal with nightmares related to my obsessions or unable to sleep with rumination. It seems like no matter what I try nothing helps. Has anyone else experienced this? Or have any suggestions to what has helped you? I appreciate you all 🙏🏼😊
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