- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
TRIGGER WARNING mine is centered around people causing shootings and kidnappings out in public. i am scared to leave my house out of fear of something happening and it’s turned into an all day compulsion. literally my every thought now :(
- Date posted
- 6y
Girl yes
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
^ to the comment above: I understand your pain. You are not alone.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
I really do!!
- Date posted
- 6y
@anonymous07 how do you deal with it? i’ve always been paranoid but it’s gotten really bad in the last month. like so bad i can’t leave my house
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
I go to a therapist that helps me out. I want to announce that the next paragraph may contain a trigger warning: TRIGGER WARNING: I am often worried about things like technology overhearing my worst moments and somehow recording them and sending them out into the entire world and the whole world turning against me for a stupid thing that I did. I go to therapy and I find a lot of help from there. Never forget: recovery is always possible!!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
I had a paranoia obsession when I was younger. This was before I was diagnosed and getting treatment. I would check tons of times that I hadnt logged into anything and was logged out, that I didnt go to certain websites, and avoided email as much as possible. I also checked excruciating numbers of times to see if I had dropped anything incriminating. I also would sit still for as long as possible and check to see if the folds in my clothes were the same, just to make sure I didnt do anything like go on the conputer (or touch something unclean, but thats another story). Because I had no therapist or anything, I did ERP by accident. I felt like I had dropped something (I hadnt though) in a classroom, but I couldnt go back and check because the next class needed the room immediately. So I went home, decided to check later, but so many hours had passed, I just got bored with the thought. Also one time I was tranporting two large full cups of hot coffe and had to make it to somewhere within 5 minutes, so I physically could not go back and forth checking to see if I had dropped something, else my coffee would spill, or I would be late. This was involuntary ERP!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
i’m back in a cycle of having harm related OCD thoughts and feelings and urges and i get these episodes where it’s like i’m disassociating and feel like i’m about to snap and go crazy violent. does anyone else experience this? i need help
- Date posted
- 19w
sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
My ocd has been at an extreme all time high the past 2 weeks and I am in dire need of some relief. I’m not sleeping right anymore. for context: I live in the south and found a springtail on my sheets about 2 weeks ago. This was like 2 days before our bug guy came and sprayed (it’s a normal maintenance thing here) so it’s a common bug down here and I’ve found them all over different areas of the house before. Finding it in my bed sent me on a bit of a spiral bc I started to doubt if it even was a springtail and that i was wrong and that it was a bed bug, not trusting my brain. It was a bad, sleepless night and carried over continuing feelings. Typical ocd stuff. Well two days later, I’m a nurse and I had a patient that actually had bed bugs. This wasn’t the first day they were here and I did not see any myself but it still freaked me out. There had one 2 founds after visitors came the day before. Of course I wore PPE in the room (coveralls shoe covers and hair net) going in and took everything off before exiting the room. When I came home I stripped in my garage and bagged everything down to my shoes. Threw everything in the wash and did multiple cycles. There were no other steps I could take but I still had a terrible night. Hours of ruminating and going back and forth about tracing my tracks, thinking of new ways I could’ve taken one home with me. Just checking everything. I was already on a spiral from the springtail. Having two such back to back triggering events for me so closely related has made me deteriorate significantly. I was already doing bad with my normal OCD and starting therapy here. I obsess over the thought of having bedbugs constantly and haven’t been able to sleep. I am constantly checking my bed while in it and can’t settle down. My bed is heavy too and I keep hurting myself lifting my mattress to check. But I need to check. I’ve become obsessed. I check everything and go down Reddit rabbit holes looking for new things. And of course, I talk myself into it every time. I can’t take it anymore, it’s bleeding off into other parts of my life like friendship and marriage because I am so high anxiety right now. I need relief so bad. I’ve never felt this unstable to be honest. I feel like even someone without ocd would be really struggling with this topic, nevermind me, with ocd to a point where I just started treatment. These aren’t even my normal intrusive thoughts and compulsive acts. It’s just taken on a life in the last week and I can’t find any sign that it’s going to slow down. when I think rationally I know I did everything right to prevent but I can’t shake it. 💔
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