Another day searching for a private therapist with no luck. I have never felt so unheard, misunderstood and alone. Although I know I'm not alone, posting on this app to people who understand the suffering. I am close to breaking point and honestly don't know how much longer I can cope. Each time I contact a therapist they come back to me saying they can't deal with my particular problem they don't have enough experience. Still on a very long waiting list with the NHS despite pushing and making them aware of how severe my situation is their only solution is for me to go to A&E. Honestly can't cope any more

It pains me to hear you say that. Nobody deserves to ever feel like that - not even the cruelest criminal. This world needs you so much. Don't give up. Imagine about all those people in the future who will get lots of help from you, someone who went through hell and came out alive. Please please don't give up.

I am so sorry. I know that feeling. I know this is bot the ideal path but why don't you try some self-managed ERP with the support of some experienced people from this app?

Please don’t feel stupid. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I myself still struggle with OCD, just with a different theme now. I had a REALLY bad relapse not too long ago that made me think I was an absolute goner for sure. And still now I am trying to recover. It’s a scary road to walk on when you’re actually facing the anxiety and uncertainty. Your entire body screams that you need to avoid or that you need to check or that you need to ask for reassurance. Whatever to keep you stuck. I understand your pain and frustration but like I said, baby steps. They may feel like the smallest achievements but they are achievements nevertheless. It will push you to keep going. You might slip up here and there again, that’s fine. Keep going.

Thank you ❤️ I just can't help feeling stupid or like I'm the one to to blame especially for isolating myself I just didn't know enough about it or how to deal with it now I know more and know what to do I've become that bad and that depressed I don't feel strong enough to help myself and especially with no professional help ? I'm sorry you had such a hard time too. Can't help thinking like that, that I'm a goner . Thank you for your kind words though I really appreciate it we're all in this horrible battle together ❤️ I'm sure I'll feel much better when I'm able to see a professional and get my meds sorted. Ocd mixed with depression is the worst ?

I'm sorry Fernando I was just feeling so so low earlier. I still am really. But I don't want to lose all hope. Sometimes it's just so hard to keep the faith. Especially when I've suffered so many set backs in searching for help. I want to be strong enough one day to be able to help people like people have helped me. ❤️

I wish we could sit and chat over a cup of tea and tell you about all of my horror stories with therapist in the past. I also felt lost and abandoned by the people whose job was to help people like me. It will get better - have faith. The right person will come.

I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. I know the waiting lists are ridiculous and it is hard to find the right therapist. Don't give up though! I saw a lady, who said completely the wrong thing and didn't understand at all! But then I found a really good private therapist, who completely understood! I hope that you find someone who can help!!

I’m sorry to hear you’re really struggling. I’m practically in the same boat as you. I haven’t even had my assessment appointment yet. I don’t know what theme or compulsions you’re struggling with, but the more you fight anxiety with anxiety itself, the more you are facing your fears. I’ve been struggling so hard these past few days resisting compulsions and seeking reassurance from others. It’s a long and draining process because OCD doesn’t give up easily. On top of that I have to deal with depression, thinking I may never get out of this and things will just get worse. But it does get slightly easier by each day. I’m doing far better now than I was like two weeks ago. Have you tried attending support groups by any chance? I went to one myself yesterday and it was really helpful in finding others going through the same thing. It can be really encouraging and motivating when you meet others who’ve recovered and are managing OCD.

Thanks for the replies guys, I'm glad to hear you found a good private therapist Heleng.. I can imagine it makes you feel so much better. And thanks Koko P.. I'm sorry to hear youre in the same boat as me. I can imagine how hard it is from what I'm going through, Its harm ocd I suffer with and the compulsions are basically to avoid everyone and isolate myself which I've done for so so long now I know it's not how you deal with it but that's what I did and I can't seem to pull myself out of It I also suffer depression and anxiety this is the worst I've ever suffered in my life with both depression and anxiety and also the ocd is the worst its ever been. I'm glad to hear youre doing abit better though and I did consider support groups there just isn't one in my area at the moment and I often feel like no one could relate to this particular ocd. Most mental health specialists I've spoke too treat me like I'm crazy. Dismiss everything I say. I'm glad it was helpful for you. Even if i did find one my anxiety is that bad now I don't know how I'd leave the house. Thank you Fernando you're always very supportive, I just don't think I can do it as I said the depression and anxiety has just gotten so severe due to the ocd being so bad I'm just absolutely terrified of taking the first step. My intrusive thoughts got that bad that's why I isolated myself I'm just so so scared now. I know I shouldn't of isolated myself but I didn't know how to deal with it I had no help. I've always suffered from depression and anxiety anyway that just got worse and worse. I'm stuck in a black hole and can't see a light at all it's so scary. I feel I'd be better off not being here I really do. Can't go on much more.

You can always take baby steps. Don’t try to force yourself too hard since you can’t go full throttle all at once with your anxieties. Try maybe going out for small walks, going to the groceries, and see how that makes you feel. I can imagine how the avoidance must be causing a lot of anxiety, but if you take those small steps to face that anxiety it will get easier and easier to face your biggest fears. I used to have Harm OCD myself. Was absolutely TERRIFIED of knives, tight roads, and trains. I used to do a lot of avoidance because of that. But that obviously makes it worse and reinforces your brain that these are dangerous situations to be in. I had to force myself to go outside despite all these anxieties. It’s a living hell at first, believe me. But it does subside the more you do it.

I tried too, just little things like walking to my local shop, I did it a couple of times and didn't keep up with it. I don't even do my shopping anymore for food it's all done online. The avoidance and isolating myself was obviously my fault but I just didn't know what to do how to deal with it. The harm ocd got so intense I was so scared. I know I must sound so stupid so many people on here suffer and have been able to push theirselfs to do things and help theirselfs. I just feel I'd be alot better with therapy it's just so so hard to find I've searched and searched. I'm getting sick of my own moaning and I know I must be doing people's head in I'm doing my own in. I admire you for being able to go out and do those things you are strong and should be so proud

I'm just suffering so much right now and feeling like I'm not being heard by the people who meant to be there to help with mental health (all these professionals!) I've been made to feel stupid and misunderstood. I'm so glad I have this app if I didn't I'd be even worse and I can't imagine being without this app now I really can't. It's been a saviour, and especially people like you always showing your support you are such a wonderful person ☺️

That would be lovely right now a chat and a cup of tea ❤️? I really appreciate all your support I really do. I need to find some strength I know it's within me somewhere it's just lost and hard to find.