ruminating about ruminating

It’s hard to break the cycle of ruminating, especially when it comes from years of doing so. Know that it is entirely possible to stop ruminating, but it will take time. You will get to a point where you will think “ok, my OCD wants me to ruminate on this, but I’m not going to.” My OCD is like 99% mental compulsions of ruminating (I don’t really have physical compulsions), and I’ve been in ERP for over a year. The more work you put in, the closer you get to resisting the urge to ruminate. I also struggled with how serious my OCD is-I was able to go to work, socialize, etc, so I was high functioning. But through therapy, I’m realizing how much rumination weighs on me, how much it takes from me. It is also hard that mental compulsions are really not represented in media, because they’re usually not visible to others. My advice is to keep working with your therapist, allow yourself to cry and feel emotions, because confronting OCD after years of being undiagnosed is hard. If you feel like you’re spiraling, take some deep breaths, and do some self care or a quiet activity. Your panic and anxiety are valid, but you will learn to work through it. It won’t be this way forever.

Thank you for this post this came at the exact time I needed it after my session tonight. For me it’s also the frustration that comes with being undiagnosed for years. I have dealt with this my whole like and was always written of as GAD so it’s this whole new world getting ERP I also just had my fourth session. Rumination is an awful spiral and feeling and isolating and I appreciate the anonymous commenter it helped me so much too! Thank you for making this post it made me feel so less alone especially the being so new to it!

Your post really resonates with me, specifically the “on paper enjoy life” part. I’m a Veteran and have been in therapy since roughly 2007, primarily focusing on panic/anxiety. I had a major harm obsession back in July which lead me to NOCD - I’ve been with NOCD since July and have learned so much about myself and my mind. I too struggle with primarily mental rumination compulsions. When I first started therapy, I found myself crying more than usual (it was something that I found myself ruminating about). Like you, when I’m busy, it’s not as bad. However, when I’m trying to “relax” is when OCD really hits me. I find that a good Response Prevention (RP) message while literally sitting with the discomfort and looking into it helps. I try to do 2 ERP exercises a day and find that those skills really translate well during distress. I can say it’s a slow grind, but I do recognize the ERP process does help. I wish you and all the group well on your journey here - as evidenced by this thread, we are not alone :)!

What helped me most was doing an activity where I had to be present such as swimming. I did that 3x a week and tried often to ask myself if I was connected with the present moment or in my head.

Rumination is my biggest thing, also. Especially about issues in my marriage. I’ve literally wasted years on it.