- Date posted
- 1y
....
I'm about to give up.... i can't take it anymore its Been a little over a year with this false memoryand I can't tell if it's real or not and I can't keep living like this...
I'm about to give up.... i can't take it anymore its Been a little over a year with this false memoryand I can't tell if it's real or not and I can't keep living like this...
Don't give up! I get you, but I have been living with this false memory ocd since kinder!I have gotten SO much better over the years and its all because of therapy! So your in the right place if you want to get better and I belive you CAN get better. Smile!
resist, meditate on the facts. at least you know what the problem is. just cuz you can imagine distressing scenarios very vividly doesn't mean theyre real life or that they have control over your actions. your memories and imagination are being oppressed, but never surrender to your oppressor. i believe in u God bless
You've got this! I know it doesn't feel like it, but trust me, you do. I just started with NOCD and I'm really amazed with the word NO and how impactful it is. I totally get how hard it is, but tell yourself, NO, I'm not going to analyze that. And that's that. Hope I could help.
I went to bed one night in November, and I can't quite say what happened, but I believed that I had a "memory" from childhood. I won't discuss what, but I had "remembered" doing something sickeningly awful. This thing came to me almost as clear as a real memory. I remember thinking something along the lines of 'How could I forget doing something like that?' followed by a feeling of complete horror and terror. I have moments of "clarity" where I can't believe that I'm questioning doing this thing, and it appears obvious that it's false. But now, I'm more than often believing that I did. I am spending 24/7 fighting my head, and it's taking me to dark places. I know this is the worst thing to do, but you don't understand, if this is real then I am a monster and I can't just adopt the 'maybe I did, maybe I didn't approach'. I just can't. I have to know. I'm so scared. My entire life is on the line. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Literally no one. I feel like I'm insane, like I'm a monster, like I'm hiding my true identity from everyone I love. Does this sound like False Memory? Or am I in denial, trying to convince myself this didn't happen? Why does it feel so real? And why do I have moments of clarity? I also had my first nightmare about it last night. Please someone help me.
So hard to not engage the thoughts because even though it's from the "past" (i don't even know if im remembering things correctly and it kills me) and i can't change it, I just NEED to prove it to myself that it didn't happen this way. If you'd asked me questions maybe a few months ago, I would have been able to lucidly explain things. Now I just feel like I'm in a constant swarm of thoughts, not knowing if anything is real. If my brain is to be trusted. Wish I could just get hypnosis to forget
This situation just happened and I can definitely remember how it went but my brain is telling me otherwise and I know you guys said to sit with the uncertainty but what if the intrusive thought is so bad like disgusting, I can’t sit with that. Maybe it’s false memory but this just happened. I don’t even know how to live with this
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