Feels like a losing battle
It feels like I make progress with some obsessions and others gets significantly worse at the same time, so I’m never at peace. I’m spending all this time, money, and energy just for OCD to find another way to keep me on edge.
QUICK SUMMARY OF THE FOUR STEPS OF COGNITIVE- BIOBEHAVIORAL SELF-TREATMENT FOR OCD Step 1: RELABEL Recognize that the intrusive obsessive thoughts and urges are the RESULT OF OCD Step 2: REATTRIBUTE Realize that the intensity and intrusiveness of the thought or urge is CAUSED BY OCD; it is probably related to a biochemical imbalance in the brain. Step 3: REFOCUS Work around the OCD thoughts by focusing your attention on something else, at least for a few minutes: DO ANOTHER BEHAVIOR Step 4: REVALUE Do not take the OCD thought at face value.
I understand exactly what yoyr saying. Its especially hard when you have multiple themes going on as well. Its like a never ending battle when you can create an obsession about almost anything you can think of.
I’m no therapist make a list of all your obsessions. Fully tackle them one by one and eventually you may have nothing left
It’s so crazy how even though you have been through this a million times, when a new thought pops up or an old obsession resurfaces, it feels impossible to get through. You know the tools and you recognize the feelings, and yet somehow “this one” is different. It’s more serious, more disturbing, it’s a sign of your true desires, etc, etc. Taking the risk of uncertainty is not worth it “this time”because the consequences are too severe. Every time you start to make progress on an obsession or even just part of an obsession, you think you are finally getting the hang of it…and then ocd hits you back and it’s like all the confidence and progress you were starting to feel like you were developing gets blown away and in that moment you are back at the beginning. Ocd is truly diabolical and so smart. It causes so much suffering. I am so tired of making progress or even just maintaining my current obsessions just to get smacked in the face with something “different” and somehow “worse”. It is exhausting. One thing I never considered I would need to fight ocd and use erp was stamina. I really hope everyone out there struggling with ocd is doing ok. If you have ever felt like this, just know that I am in that same place.
ocd is all over the place, one day its about a next day about b the day after that in the morning its about c and afternoon back to a. Its extremely exhausting, and more and more i find it difficult to motivate myself. Where in the past i could draw motivation from thinking about my kids and wife. I now get a more Flat response to it. Which in turn gets me anxious again. Why do i not feel motivated by thinking about my loved ones or other positive stuff? With every new obsession ot feels like the ocd takes another bit of my strength and motivation away. I feel as if a couple of years ago i was better at coping with my ocd then i am now many therapies later and medicine. Its as if im losing that inner warrior bit by bit, and i feel more vulnerable by every obsession that comes around.
I felt like I was doing ok (not great) in my OCD recovery, putting in the work and noticing some progress. But after this most recent set back I just feel so beat down and honestly feels so hard to keep doing recovery work. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, I hate this, I hate mental health, I just want to be and feel normal. This past year that should be the best times of my life has been literally the absolute worst with no end in sight. I don’t understand how OCD has taken over my brain, not only in thoughts but heavy on the emotions/feelings side which is the worst.
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