Soocd

I've made a lot of progress in my So-ocd if you need someone to talk to I'm here to help

Ty, well there’s more but:) Oh yeah So basically I thought an actress was pretty a month or 2 back , nothing else but maybe I gave the thoughts 2 much consideration. But I've thought other actresses were pretty , white other races .Didn't think twice. Fast foward 2 months I think the actress is pretty , I'm like like her style, I liked her character. And she looks so comfortable in that , and going to get coffee just like that with her husband fun. Then i see a girl on pinterest , thought she was pretty sort of , i said she looked like katy perry , but I think I was giving my mind excuses. Then again , scrolling on youtube shorts I see a girl , and my mind's like look pay attention , i'm like oh she's pretty , i like her tattoo , and a day after i'm like uh no she's not pretty. I saw another short , when my anxiety and stress was worse , saw this girl i'm like oh she's pretty , don't know how much of that is true?. Until i saw the caption when your parents are homophobic or something. It scared me so bad , because I didnt read the caption. Now I had a wallpaper, not a rainbow , but it was in a rainbow shape , but entirely different colors . one day i change the wallaper , it stresses me out , the next day feeling more confident ,and I put it back on. I'm playing a game i see a bit of rainbow , and i keep staring , thinking bout it more and getting a little anxiety , eventually i let my character in the game resume. I'm playing a game , I have 2 rainbow lights , not even the exact correct rainbow , still I dont feel good putting up the lights , so I get rid of them. I saw a short of 2 girl's kissing , and I didn't feel that much anxiety , and I felt so what now do you just like these thoughts huh? I saw ur eyes wondering towards the girl's behind unintenionally. I see a short , about them , and she , doesn't give me anxiety directly , start thinking what r you enjoying these thougths. I saw a girl who's pronouns on zoom are they, them , she , before all of this stress , i thought eugh so weird, i searched it up to see what it meant though. Now I don't know what to think , i just feel anxiety. I've unintenionally started at my sister's behind where I actually went and just ducked my eyes. I recently started thinking , how my friends would ship me with this girl , i hated it , i liked guys , i had no attraction towards her , we were friends , immature , and kiddy. Now recently due to all the stress and anxiety, my brain started thinking remember the time , where u looked at her and u were thinking , what were u thinking ? did u find her attractive , did u like the ships . NO BRAIN, anyways now people I didn't find pretty , or things I didnt even look at , my brain will think of look at . looking at girl's chests or behinds unintenionally , even my friend , who i have no attraction towards. I cant look at a random woman , girl, without thinking twice , sometimes I dont even wanna hear a girl's voice , or woman's voice it'll stress me out , I dont wanna watch female youtubers I could comfortably watch before, And i feel like if i dont watch them I'm avoiding it , and it'll cause tension or bad stuff later on. I dont know should I look more , causes anxiety , i'll observe stare more think more. If I dont want I feel like I'm getting everything get worse day my day avoiding it . Losing my attraction towards guys. Do i have an anxiety disorder idk DO i think 2 much no. DO i just wanna like guys , and not even notice girls like that YES...

Totally agree w TKL + Amanda! I’m an SO OCD sufferer too and I’m not over it but I’m learning how to deal with it better. Regardless of your orientation, it’s totally normal to appreciate beauty and attractiveness on people of any gender!!! That’s how (for example) a gay male agent is able to pick out the most attractive woman for a modeling job. When you have distressing thoughts or feelings about women, face the discomfort. Sit in it. Accept all outcomes, then try to move on. It will get easier as you go. Good luck!!

Not fully, but I’m over it for the most part. I’m here to talk too!